I, well, I was broken down to the extent that I couldn’t say not to Raven’s offer. I didn’t want to have to trapse back through those woods to that hellhole. I didn’t want to have to wake up tomorrow morning to whatever torture my parents were going to torture me with or…whatever they were going to do when they saw me next.
“Luckily, we did already properly move in.” Raven said leading me down a hall of the manor, turning lights off as we passed through certain rooms, there were just…all sorts of weird rooms we passed through: there was a long, thin hall that had a glass wall looking out onto the grounds that was empty save for two rows of dozens of suits of armor along the long walls, the floor like a chessboard, but ornate chandeliers overhead and no rug or anything on the floor making the tile probably quite cold. There were halls filled with masses of paintings and photos and things, but…that wolf I heard howling outside seemed…far, far closer than I was expecting, enough that when it bounded through the halls next, I flinched and grabbed onto Raven’s arm, she just rested her other hand on mine as she walked.
“I’m sorry if…I paint a bad picture, Raven” I said quietly
“What do you mean by that?” she asked as she paused walking, turning to face me.
“I’m just…I’m nobody special or anything, there’s nothing about me that is cool or interesting or…anything like that, I’m…nobody. In my eyes, I’m just like a kicked, sick dog to you, I feel like you’re only being so kind to me because you pity me, feel sorry for me or see me like a project or something.” I said looking towards the floor. Raven sighed softly as she rested a hand on my shoulder.
“None of that is true, James” she said, her voice quiet and there was a strange…I wouldn’t say tone, but a timber, the lilt of her voice was almost…not growling, but not purring, there was a hissing tilt to it that was made stressed and intense by speaking so quietly. “You may think that about you, but I don’t. You’re sweet, you’re kind and you’re…just in need of…I guess, you could say an escape.”
“An escape?” I asked looking up towards her.
“You said you went to college out in Lakeview, no?” she asked, I nodded, “I’m guessing you chose to go there to…get out of Boughburg?” she asked, I nodded again.
“I…hate it here.” I whispered, gripping onto her arm tight enough I’m surprised she didn’t say anything from pain or move my hand, she just let me dig my nails into her arm till my hand was vibrating. “I…can’t stand being in this town…everyone hates me, everyone thinks that I am just…a mess, a waste of space, a disappointment, a shame and all of those things.” I said, “I want…I need to just get away from here. The college in Lakeview was the furthest I could go with scholarships, my parents laughed in my face when I told them I wanted to go to college, they said that college isn’t for people like me, that college isn’t for stupid people.” I added, she just let me continue clawing onto her arm from the tension, unfazed by my doing so as her hand on my shoulder stayed there.
“Breathe” she whispered, I nodded softly as I closed my eyes and forced myself to slowly breathe. “I can nearly hear your pulse over here, you’re…working yourself into a state I know that you don’t want to be in.” she said, I nodded softly as I just listened to her voice.
From being so close to Raven, there was a scent I hadn’t noticed before: it punched its ways into my senses making me almost heady and my senses hazy, muffled and muted, like I just walked into a candle store that only sold one scent of candle and it was an incredible scent: smoky, warm, slightly astringent, slightly burnt smelling and something just a touch metallic smelling, it was…incredible smelling, I couldn’t tell what it smelt like, but there was something distinctly rosemary like about the scent. Her arm slid on my shoulder a little as she stepped up close to me, resting her other arm atop my other shoulder, not hugging me, but standing close enough to me that I knew she was here for my support and help. I just wrapped my arms around her as I stepped forward, just…I felt like hugging her, that she probably gives good hugs and that…she’d let me, that she knew I would really, really appreciate one. She let me hug her as I wrapped my arms around her hips and waist, she’s tall enough that I couldn’t easily wrap my arms around her shoulders and I’m not going to wrap my arms around her chest, one of her arms lowered to wrap around my waist as her other hand rested on my upper back as she rested her chin on top of my head, her hand on my back softly rubbing my back. She was…icy, icy cold, all I could feel under the silk was intense muscle, there was not a drop of fat on her body from what I could tell.
“Why…why do they have to be like this?” I asked, “Why do they have to treat me like this?”
“People are terrible, James…it just matters about how you let others treat you, do no harm, but take no shit.” She said making me laugh softly, I had my head resting against her shoulder and collar as I let my fingers bite into the silk over her back.
“Why couldn’t I have parents like yours?” I asked, she sighed deeply as I could feel my eyes start burning again with the rise of tears, I could hear Raven’s heart from where my head was touching her collar: slow, steady and heavy, so hard I’m surprised I couldn’t feel it. “Why couldn’t I have a family like yours?” I asked
“Listen, James” Raven said, her voice seemed…different sounding, but I think it may just be because one of my ears was against her collar and the other was covered by most of my hair, but her voice had the slight tone of like a mattress commercial, “Please…breathe, I understand that you are upset and it is valid that you’re upset, your anger and feelings are valid, but it is late, a good night’s sleep will do you well” she said, this…warmth seemed to build up through my legs and body, like my body was being filled with warmth like it was liquid pouring into my veins, almost against my control, I could feel my racing heart slowly calming down and evening out, I could feel the fact I had worked myself up into panting and on the verge of panic almost forced out of my body making me breathe slower, deeper and steadier. The warmth working its way through my torso and slowly crawling up my neck and filling my head. “You’ve had…a very long day, let’s get you upstairs. We have some extra toiletries if you want a shower or bath, you can borrow some of my pajamas, I’m confident they’ll fit and…we’ll work through this in the morning, doesn’t that sound good?” she asked, I nodded softly as my eyelids were suddenly feeling very, very heavy, I was suddenly feeling…very, very tired. I stifled yawning as I felt my legs softly wobble under me like the amount I’ve ran today was properly settling into my body as I rested my head against her shoulder, letting my weight rest against her as I felt very tired.
“Yeah…that…that sound’s nice” I whispered as I yawned.
“We’ll talk in the morning, I’m sure we can work something out, right?” She asked, I nodded softly. “Let’s get you upstairs, okay?”
“Alright” I said, but I was already falling asleep against her shoulder.
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