E17: Anxiety and Grief
Mar 13, 2017
Creator
This weekend I had to say goodbye to my mother. I spent Saturday night in hospice care, sitting beside her as she slept. I was the only one awake as my 2 sisters and father slept in the room. While I sat, this comic came into my mind and I drew it as I sat next to her.
My mom had been in and out of hospitals for months. Nobody could figure out what was going on with her. Eventually, after having several diagnoses, they realized what she had was an auto immune disorder that was attacking her brain.
The ten months leading up to her eventual death were terrible. The usually vibrant, kind, caring woman we all knew, was transformed into a person we didn't know. It didn't make sense to any of us. Most people talk kindly about a person who just died, but it wasn't hard at all to find good things about my mother. She was the kind of person who sent out cards on World Smile Day, just to make sure you didn't forget to smile.
She was in and out of hospitals during those 10 months with countless accidents. After learning that her latest accident was going to be fatal, I knew that I would be flooded with grief.
That night as I sat with my mother, I realized that there were two ways I could let it affect me. I could let it scare me and flood my life with darkness, or I could learn to work with it and tame it. That idea was the inspiration for today's comic.
I like to think that my mom was working through me that night. She knew that I had recently tackled my depression and found a better state of mind. She knew that I had been working on my mental health for months through my comic and podcast. It sounds corny, but I think my mom has given me, the lost child in my family, the strength to help everyone through. For that mom, I will always be grateful.
Rest in peace mom. I love you.
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