Chapter 1 - part 1
Feb 12, 2015
Masemunejm44
Top comment
Am I correct in assuming that your native language is French? If so and you are the one translating, you are doing quite well. It is clear and understandable. The only thing you may want to work on is the fact that the dialogue comes across slightly "stiff" or perhaps "Overly Formal". Many of them could be fixed rather simply, for example, in the last panel, "I calmed down and I listened to her" would flow better in English as "I calmed down and listened to her". In situations like these the second "I" is often implied rather than said. Most native English speakers will know that the "I" applies to both before and after the "and". (Sorry for my long post)
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