God. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I can't do it. I'm sorry I wasn't able to succeed. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry I gave into my demons. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this list can be so much longer, but I don't to apologize for bothering you even more.
Maybe it's just the fact that life is just a ticking time bomb. I want to cut the wire and end it all. Maybe I'll get lucky and disable it and go on with my life, or maybe I get to make an explosion.. But for now the ticking continues. That annoying ticking. The countdown. The ticking that is always nagging you. You want to end it, kill it even.
Is that how I ended here? Locked in the bathroom? My parents aren't even home. Do I want them to come home to a mess to clean? They'll probably make me come up from the grave and clean it to. No. Not today. I have homework to do. That always comes first right? Work over mental health? Makes sense to me. Might as well try not to be a good for nothing child while I'm alive.