Dear Diary...
... How does the Flying Canoe operate?
I see no steering. No gas levers. Not even the pedals I would see in human cars. There's not even a convenient system they call Goober....No... Anne of Green Gable... No, no.....G...P...GPS! Yes, that's it. Global...Something.
... Do I just sit in it, like a regular canoe?... Alright.
...........Why does my @ss hurt?
And I look like an idiot sitting on a canoe bobbing on the ground.
Stupid thing.
*KICK*
*...VRRRR...PUTT-PUTT-PUTT*
O-oh! I-it's starting! Wh-whatever magical engine is running on, i-it's starting. Lovely! Now, to figure out the steering mechanism and--
--*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!*
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ~~~\(OдO)/
T-TOO FAST! IT'S TOO FAST! A-A-AND IT'S ONLY GOING IN A STRAIGHT LIIIINE! A-AT THIS RATE, I-I'LL CRASH INTO A--NUWOOOH! F-FOREST!?
*BRUSH! RUSTLE RUSTLE!*
PTOO! PTOO! SH*T! POISON IVY GOT IN MY EYE!...HAYSTACK!?
*FOOOOOSH! MOOOOOO!*
F**K! H-HAY GOT IN MY PANTIES AND BRASSIERE! I DON'T LIKE THIS...
....................................
A 50 meter wall--
HELP! HELP! WH-WHERE'S THE BRAKES ON THIS THING!? S-SOMEONE STOP THIS CRAZY MAGICAL CANOOOOOOOOOOE! HEEEEE---!
Comments (4)
See all