Never had I been out of the Forbidden Palace in the night and never for a festival. All my trips outside the walls of my prison was carefully timed to minimize exposure and potential danger to myself.
But seeing the town lit up at night was an entirely different sight to behold. Unlike the perfectly designed and luscious interior of the palace, the warm yellow glow of the lanterns and candles painted the town in an authentic, cozy light. Combined with the lively mood of the townsfolk, I felt the burden on my heart slowly disappear, replaced by an engulfing warmth.
It reminded me of home. My small, loving home. Where it was just me, my mother, and my father.
Standing a distance away from the large bonfire at the edge of town that looked out to the vast fields, I watched as children of all ages danced around the flames. Their movements in sync with the drum beats, the audience clapped along and sung the traditional tunes.
I wasn’t familiar with the melody but my hands subconsciously drummed to the beat as my lips drew into a smile. These children were all so carefree and full of energy as they danced to their hearts content, much unlike their counterparts within the palace walls – all so uptight and disciplined as they were trained to succeed as the next heir or heiress. Watching them dance with abandon lightened my heart, as if I was once again a child with not a care in the world.
But all too soon, the music ended and the young ones bowed to roaring applause. Thinking it was all over, I turned away, ready to signal to Li Wai standing behind me that we should head back. Yet a small touch on my shoulder made me twist around.
A hunched over elderly woman beamed at me through eyes that were almost sealed shut. “Come and join in our dance, lady,” she chirped. “Everyone here is dancing, even old me!”
Laughing, I waved my hand in polite rejection. “I’m sorry. I’m not from around here and I don’t quite know how to dan-”
“Oh no need to worry, dear.” The woman took a hold of my arm and pulled me towards the large crowd. I chuckled. For an old woman, she certainly had a lot of strength hidden in that small frame.
“The steps are easy. You’ll get a hang of it,” she reassured. Her astute gaze took in Li Wai’s dark expression as he followed close behind, ready to lop off her arm if he deemed her a danger. She added, “Young man, you should join too! Might do you some good to have some fun eh?”
Li Wai’s eyes widened, his lips opening and closing like a fish out of water. Laughter bubbled in my chest and when my gaze met the old woman’s, we both burst out chortling. Meanwhile, the music had already begun and all the adults, young and old, were linking hands in a large circle around the blazing fire.
The woman easily inched us into the circle as people greeted her left and right. She took a firm hold of my left hand and arched a brow in Li Wai’s direction, silently motioning him over. I tilted my head back and he regarded me with a hesitant gaze that screamed “Are you sure about this?”
Smiling, I waved him over. As he reluctantly shuffled towards us, I bit down another laugh. My memory was a little vague but I did recall how much he hated dancing when we were younger. I doubt much had changed since then. He took his position beside me, his eyes flitting down to my right hand and then back up at me, seeking my permission. In response, I slipped my hand into his and his fingers cautiously closed over mine.
My eyes drifted up to meet his and in that moment, I saw not the backdrop of a starless night but a brightly lit house. A younger looking and less stern Li Wai looked back at me, his cheeks a shade of pink as our hands accidentally brushed against each other. Just like back then, my heart thundered in my chest and even as the scenery faded to the present time, it had not calmed down one bit.
How could it when the fire threw light on the creeping tint on Li Wai’s wizened face? Almost instantly, a sharp pain in my arm made me drop my gaze, the burning sensation that spread through my skin a reminder of the curse of my soulmate mark. I inhaled a shaky breath and steadied myself both physically and emotionally. This was just a dance, nothing more.
The drums started up again, beating a lively rhythm as people whooped and sprang into motion. I welcomed the distraction and focused my attention on learning the steps which were not too difficult as the elderly woman had said. After one or two rounds, it came naturally to me although not quite so for Li Wai beside me who stumbled around like a klutz.
At the end of the triple drumbeat, the circle shrank in size as all of us lifted our hands and simultaneously walked towards the bonfire. A simple “Hey” shouted in unison, I followed the crowd in crossing my left leg over my right. Not noticing the stock still body beside me, I stumbled into Li Wai, my breath leaving me in a muffled yelp.
As I straightened myself, Li Wai hurriedly uttered an apology which I merely laughed away. His look of frustration mixed with helplessness triggered another bout of giggles and I shook my head in mock disapproval. “It’s simple, Li Wai. Follow me.”
We rejoined the circle and with the help of my softly muttered instructions, Li Wai got through half the routine before he stumbled. Certainly an improvement, I encouraged him amidst a restrained chuckle. One more round later and he was almost mastering the steps. Like an excited mother teaching her child how to walk, I held my breath as the routine restarted.
Walk in, left step, walk out, right step, right step, left step, cross, cross, and… bend!
A proud grin graced my lips. He had done it! Li Wai turned to me, his eyes sparkling in delight as a rare smile adorned his face. That one smile, so genuine and warm. It blinded me.
My heart stopped. The surroundings dissolved around me, the sound of applause muffled by my heart hammering against my chest. The pinprick of pain that seared my skin like a reminder was forgotten, masked by the clenching of my heart. Was this what Han Ge felt each time? To let out the overwhelming well of emotions and bask in the warmth of love?
If this is what it was like, I would gladly sacrifice my time on earth for a chance to feel so… alive. The last time I experienced this was more than sixteen years ago at a time when Li Wai and I had been at a crossroads that left us broken and torn apart. But this was vastly different. Not driven by the flames of revenge that licked my soul, this was a passionate warmth that healed the pieces left of me.
I felt it in my heart… this was my calling.
I didn’t know how long I had just simply stood staring at Li Wai but by the time I snapped out of my reverie, he was looking at me with a concerned expression. The crowd had dispersed, leaving just the two of us standing in the fields with the fire gently burning in the background.
“Li Wai.”
At the mention of his name, he dipped his head, hanging expectantly onto my next words.
I sucked in a short breath, briefly looking down before fixing him in an earnest gaze. “Let’s run away together.”
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