I'VE ALWAYS LOVED OBSERVING THINGS. When I look at stuff, I automatically feel as though I need to analyze it and love it for what it's worth, even something as useless as a floating plastic bag gliding along the street.
Evidently, that was exactly what I was doing instead of listening to my math lecture. Mr. Choi is probably rambling on about recapping on polynomials again, but I can't possibly listen to him when he sounds like he has lamb stuck in his throat.
Besides, staring out this great big window to my left is much better. I'd much rather contemplate than calculate.
Heh, contemplate than calculate. That's a cool mantra.
I silently flinched when I felt something sharp poke my back; so sharp I felt it through the threads of my white dress shirt. I quickly turned and met Sabrina's large, forest green eyes.
She was wearing her usual playful smirk, probably also daydreaming instead of listening beforehand. " Guess what?" She mouthed.
I lifted my eyebrows causally as an answer.
" Papa said I could sleep over tonight."
" Miscus, what could possibly be so interesting in your conversation that you can't wait until work time to share?" Mr. Choi butt-in, which sent chills down my spine at the thought of being caught.
" Er, nothing, sir. My apologies, please carry on."
He kept eye contact before glancing once at Sabrina and then continuing his speech. This was certainly one of the things I disliked about South Korean school; the teachers are way more uptight than western schools.
Though, I only have YouTube to back up any information on Western Schooling.
That wasn't the only thing, however. I also disliked how many stares I get constantly from all places. Being half Asian and half African American, I had an Asian face and tan skin. The shorter stature and the curvier figure. The thick hair and the almond eyes.
Sabrina always tells me that I'm quite gorgeous, but I just can't wrap my head around that concept. I mean, every time I think about the beauty standard here I wish I was in America, where I would at least not be seen as unattractive.
Maybe not modelesque, but here you have to be tall, have snowy skin, big doe eyes, and brown hair just to be considered pretty. I am....far from it.
It's not like I'm insecure though, which I feel a lot of people get confused with its meaning. To me, insecurities aren't a thing, it's a concept. A concept not about what you look like, but how you talk to yourself about it.
I can look in the mirror, be dissatisfied with the fat on my stomach, and say, " Why am I so ugly? Why can't I look like Hee-Jea?" or I can assess it and say, " alright, I guess I'll just have to do some workouts."
I feel like it's only insecurity if you become negative and toxic to yourself about it. And I get it, some people have trouble with self-love, and oh how I wish I could slap them in the face and tell them they're beautiful.
But how can I when I fail to see my own beauty?
" Jer, are you good?" Sabrina's full, fruity voice brought me out of my thoughts.
" Sorry, what?"
" Are you okay, man? You were spaced out, like, the entire class except for when we talked."
I noticed the room being filed out by my fellow student and began packing up myself. I had no idea it was already time to go home. "A heh, I space out every day."
" Yeah, but today was a lot different than normal. It was like you were under some spell the whole time!"
"Get your fantasies outta here!" I playfully smacked her arm. " Not everything is controlled by a sexy black haired wizard named Hansuke."
" Ah-! Don't talk about it out loud, people might hear!"
Clearly, Sabrina was a massive bookworm despite her otherwise idiotic, practically empty, head. Seriously, it was like a balloon.
She just finished a series of fantasy called The Everlast Dread and ended up falling in love with the main antagonist wizard, Hansuke Poiyu.
"I'm not the one who brought it up in the first place, so maybe you should buy me a milkshake if you want me to shut up about it."
" What? No way! Plus, I bet you just got your allowance this week!"
I sighed overdramatically. " Fine, I guess I'll just have to ask Mr. Choi about a certain fanfiction my friend wrote las-"
Her thin lips parted into a sudden gasp before nervously clasping her hands over my mouth. " O-Okay, jeez, I'll buy you one. Just shut up."
I grinned victoriously and grabbed her hand, leading her to my favorite ice cream shop. Kimmie's. It's not a very well known shop, but, man, did they have just the most delicious and creamy milkshakes.
The doorbell chimed merrily as we walked inside, breathing in the sweet scent of waffle cones and fudge.
" Two HouseShakes, please, Large. Oh, and extra drizzle. Thank you." Sabrina ordered. The tall waitress nodded with a smile and headed to the next table over of boys.
" Hey," She started, " so Aldus wanted you to meet Kiko pretty soon....says she's a lot like you. I think so, too."
I scoffed. " Another girlfriend? And he wants me to meet her? No way, I don't think he realizes how bad his luck streak with girls is."
" Oh come on! It won't be like Alice or Jenny!"
" Or Jeong-Lee, or See-Hee, or Wan-tan. Yeah, you said that about them, too."
" But it's different this time! I've actually met Kiko and she's....sane." She whispered the last word as if her brother was secretly listening in on the conversation.
" And what makes you say that?" I glanced at the waitress serving the table of schoolboys their food, hoping ours would come soon as well.
" Can't you just trust me on this? I know you and his girlfriends have always ended up fighting each other somehow, but I really think Kiko's not like them. Like, I genuinely think she likes Aldus for his personality and not the money."
" Again, and what makes you say that? Remember, he has a record of dating snakes." I pointed to her matter-of-factly.
" That's why she reminds me of you. When we first met, you had no clue my family was wealthy. Which, I thought was pretty stupid since the name of the school is my last name. Kiko's like that. She didn't know Aldus' last name was Carpaccio 'till a few weeks in."
" Hey!" I kicked her leg under the square table. " I'm not that slow. But what if this Kiko does turn out to be just another crazy ass Al's brought home? Some people are excellent liars."
" Well, she'll probably be escorted by-AH!" Sabrina didn't get the opportunity to finish her sentence before her entire scalp and lap was covered in a Fuschia milkshake.
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You are so beautiful and don't let anyone EVER tell you otherwise.
There's no reason that you should ever look in the mirror and hate what you see. Mirrors only have the power to reflect what is there and it's gorgeous. Yes, I am talking to you. You, right there, reading this!
Actually, whether your reading it or not, this applies to everyone!
More to come out soon, Beans!
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