Maybe he should call off on patrols until this shit is under control?
Otherwise he'll only be in the way. What happens if he does something on the field like he did in training today? Innocent people could lose their lives because of shit like that.
He should call Fatgum tomorrow. Then he'll inform Mr. Aizawa about his decision.
Just until he can control it in training. Then he'll go back out on the field.
He feels his mating gland twinge uncomfortably, his hand reaching up and pressing against it. He closes his eyes, sighing heavily. Bakugo must be coming to his room.
He rolls onto his side, staring hard at the wall as he bites his lip. Bakugo is probably mad. Kirishima knows how much the omega hates omega inequality, and part of that is an alpha commanding an omega without consent.
God why!? Why did he do that!? It was so mean, and rude, and inconsiderate.
What if the command had been harsher than what he'd said. What if he'd told Mic to back down and sit? He would've embarrassed his teacher badly infront of his classmates, and not only that, but it also shows just exactly how unstable and dangerous he is in this state.
How can he fight like this? He obviously can't control his motor skills the way he should be able to yet. He has to work on it.
He cringes as the door opens, as expected. He'd nearly forgotten that he'd felt Bakugo approaching his dorm room. As the door clicks softly behind him, he draws his legs up to his chest, body stiff and worn out. How can he face the omega he likes after he'd literally just violated another person.
Its so wrong.
He hears his desk chair creak, the wheels rattling as its dragged across the floor.
"Its 11 pm shitty hair. And you're over here groaning and grunting like a dumbass bear. The fuck is up?"
Kirishima bites his lip hard, fingers twisting beneath the pillow under his head.
He doesn't know how to speak, let alone answer. How the fuck is he supposed to explain? Bakugo knows anyways, he was there when it happened. He saw Kirishima laying on the ground, weak and breathless. He'd seen the alpha snarl at their superior, commanding the older man down like he was nothing but a damn dog.
It was wrong.
"Oi. Shitty hair...?"
He swallows hard, tasting blood on his lip again. He needs to stop chewing his lips.
He flinches, eyes growing wide as a weight sits behind him,"Hey."
"Why did I command him? I didn't want to."
"I didn't mean to do that."
"It was messed up!"
Kirishima covers his head with his arms, squeezing hard and he squeezes his eyes shut,"I'm a horrible alpha..." He whispers, feeling his chest ache.
Hes a horrible fucking person. You shouldn't do that, its not allowed. How could he violate his elder like that?
Its wrong. Its so wrong.
Bakugo is silent behind him, and the red head can't seem to find the will to face him. His head hurts and throbs, and he hates how he feels this overwhelming supieroity over omegas, this ability to command and be listened to without falter. He hates it. He hates it.
And how does his best friend feel about him doing somebody so dirty? It's not that kirishima meant to, but he still did it none the less, and thats a problem. He knows how Bakugo feels about this kinda thing, and with that he can only assume that the blond is mad at him, or disgusted by him. Kirishima honestly couldn't handle it if Bakugo hated him for this. He didn't mean it, he didn't want to command anybody...
He can't take the feeling of not knowing, rolling over and hesitantly looking up at the blond omega sitting on his bed. Bakugo looks thoughtful as ever, staring at the wall infront of him. He looks contemplative.
"Do you hate me?" He whispers softly, wincing with saying it. He doesn't like the sound of it, the sound of Bakugo hating him. He didn't like commanding someone, he doesn't like this all powerful feeling that it gives him. He doesn't like violating a person like this.
"Wha-" Bakugo looks at him like hes stupid, mouth twisting into a confused look,"Why the hell would I hate you?"
"It's just..." He swallows, feeling wrong sitting here with his heart tugging towards the blond, his soulmate staring at him with an almost disgusted look at this point. So Bakugo is disgusted by him,"I commanded someone."
"And you don't like that stuff."
"I know dumbass."
"So like..." Kirishima swallows,"Aren't you mad?"
Bakugo huffs, frowning deeply as he looks away,"I'm a little dissappointed." He mutters,"But its obvious you didn't do it purposely so... I'm not mad."
"But I still..." He squeezes his eyes shut, reaching up and rubbing a hand down his face,"I shouldn't have done that..." He sighs,"I have to apologize to him. Mr. Aizawa too."
"You didn't do anything to Aizawa thou-"
"They're courting Bakugo. I commanded a marked omega." He bites his lip,"Yeah, maybe they're not mates, but Mr. Aizawa's scent is all over Mic."
Bakugo hums, obviously already aware of this. Then he frowns, looking at the red head,"So you think he belongs to Aizawa?"
"No, no!" Kirishima sits up,"Bakugo I'm not saying that-"
"No you said a marked omega! Thats putting labels on shit isn't it!?" Bakugo fumes back and Kirishima bites his tongue to keep from yelling back.
"No, I'm saying that hes... They're dating and if..." He groans, not knowing how to explain.
"Listen." Kirishima grumbles, holding a hand out as he explains,"Lets say you marked me." He gives Bakugo an angry look back, upset that his friend doesn't understand,"What if some other omega or beta or alpha scented me, and put their smell all over me. How would you feel about somebody touching your marked boyfriend?"
Bakugo frowns at him, but Kirishima sees the waver in his glare, the way realization flashes across his eyes, and the alpha feels his anger spike higher at his friend.
"I wasn't trying to objectify omegas, just so you know. I'm just fucking saying..." He looks away, eyes hard. He hates cussing,"I don't like seeming like the mean guy, and I'm fed up with this stupid ass shit thats going on with my body." He swallows,"You know me man, I'd never say or do anything like that purposely."
Bakugo is silent next to him, and Kirishima feels bad for being so harsh towards him. His anger slowly dissapates and turns into guilt immediately. He bites his lip, looking at the blond,"Hey, sorry for getting mad."
"No you had every right." He murmurs, and Kirishima feels surprise cross his face as he watches him fidget some, fingers twisting together for a short moment before the omega gains his composure again,"You ok?"
"Yeah it's just..." He swallows and looks away, ashamed as he says it,"I... When I commanded him... I felt this pure sense of superiority, and I wanted to throw up..." He glances at his friend, his face cringing as he looks away shamefully,"But I was so scared and- and I felt weak and..." He swallows,"The command slipped out, it slipped. And I..." He clenches his teeth,"I'm disgusted with myself Bakugo, how could I violate simeone like that? I..." He feels his eyes burn, fingers digging into the sheets beneath him.
He blinks fast, turning his face away from the blond as he rolls over and stares hard at the wall.
Bakugo is silent, and Kirishima feels his chest clench, that need for consolation or scolding boiling in his veins.
"Am I bad person? A bad alpha?"
It's silent, and the walls colors start to stain his brain as he tries not to think about what Bakugo might be thinking, about what the blond will say.
"Honestly, it depends on the person, and what they think is either a good or bad person or alpha."
Bakugos words are quiet, soft in the darkness of the room. Kirishima presses his lips tight together, his heart aching. Bakugo...
"In standards that most would have: you commanded an omega without consent, and in that sense you are held legally guilty. You are a bad person." Bakugo mutters,"By other standards that people set: you did it by accident and had no harmful intentions, simply lashing out due to premature instincts. You're still a guilty person but not a bad one." Kirishima cringes as the facts hit like bombs.
"Now depending on which person you talk to or ask that same question to, you will get one of those opinions." Bakugo huffs heavily into the room as Kirishima bites his nail,"And it all depends on a persons judgement and standards at that point."
The young alphas heart beats hard against his rib cage, cheek pressing firmer into the pillow as his brows furrow tight, biting his lip,"And at what standard do you set me at?"
Its quiet, and Kirishima doesn't recieve an answer to this question. He huffs, and slowly his tears ebb away, his body relaxing and calming down as the pressure of the day seems to fade. He feels Bakugo stand, the bed creaking softly, just as the door does when the omega leaves. The red head panics for a fleeting second, his heart racing as he thinks Bakugo has left him out of a fit of anger or disappointment. He gets out of bed, deciding that if hes going to be lonely and freaked out, he might as well do it comfortably in a pair of sweats and no shirt.
But, when the other boy returns, Kirishima is startled, rolling over in the bed just as he'd gotten comfortable. Bakugo's only in a pair of fit boxers and a long baggy t-shirt with some kind of rock bands name across it. He looks tired, and Kirishima notices the small bandaid across his cheek for the first time.
Bakugo trumps over to the bed, flopping down near the wall side, pushing the red headed alpha towards the edge like usual. Kirishima scoots, staring as his best friend flops down on the bed, those constant glaring eyes staring hard at the alphas side.
"Well...? Go the fuck to sleep shitty hair."
Kirishima nods jerkily, swallowing some as he shifts and rolls so his back in to the other boy. He can't seem to look him in the eyes, not after the shit show he pulled, not after showing the omega how weak he is. Not after... Not after degrading his gender like he did.
But... He isn't sure anymore about his own ideals, especially as one of Bakugo's soft, but calloused, hands press against his back. He stares at the back of his desk chair wide eyed, his face feeling hot, his heart ramming against his ribcage. He wonders if Bakugo can hear it like he can.
"My standards are pretty high." Bakugo mutters,"We both know this."
"Y-Yeah." Kirishima manages to stutter out, and Bakugos hand squeezes into small fist against his back, just beneath his shoulder blade. Kirishima reaches up, clenching his fists into the pillow he has his head on.
"But in my standards... You're a good person and a good alpha." He feels heat against his back, and Kirishima would love to roll over and see that cherry red face he's hoping is there, considering how sweaty and warm the omegas hand is against his back. But he doesn't, knowing it'll break this moment,"You may have flaws, we all do, we're not perfect. Got me?" He whispers,"You can't be ok all the time." He says even softer.
Kirihsima stares hard at the black material on his chair, his face warm, his heart thudding. His body feels warm and tingly anywhere Bakugos hand touches his back, his hands squeezing the pale pillow between his fingers.
God, hes perfect.
Kirishima closes his eyes, remembering when he said the same thing to Bakugo last year after Kamino, remembering well how the blond was struggling to eat, how nightmares would make him nearly blow up the dorms.
He remembers telling Bakugo that he couldn't be ok all the time, that it was ok to have that moment of weakness, only to be able to grow stronger. Kirishima couldn't tell you how shocked he was to see a single tear run down his friends cheek that night.
He swallows hard, and smiles, huffing a soft laugh as he snuggles into the sheets.
"I know." He whispers, and takes a deep breath,"Thankyou."