The next day is shitty.
He'd woken up, his breath heavy and labored. He took his daily dosage, hoping that it would help with the spinning room, and his blurry vision. But his racing heart didn't stop until he was late for class by at least two hours.
He tried to do his hair like he normally does, and as he finally got it to look somewhat ok, he stared at himself in the mirror.
His eyes were blunt and dark, face pale from lack of sleep. He took a deep breath, and reached his hands up to tear down his towers of normal spikes that were disturbingly droopy today
Today isn't a good day. He knew from the moment he opened his eyes today wasn't going to be a good day. He feels tired and off, his body achy, and droopy. He feels drained and tired.
He makes his way to class with his headband on, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, earbuds in and playing loud lofi music in his ears. It makes him feel a little bit better than before, but doesn't help his mood to change. He keeps feeling ashamed for not keeping his composure, and not keeping his normal look. His look makes him feel better about himself, it helps him cope with his old self, the way he used to keep his head down, eyes on the ground. A coward.
But today... Today he just wants to feel sad. He doesn't feel like trying to be happy, he doesn't want to fake it, he doesn't want to be ok today. He just...
He's just a little bit off today.
His body hurts, his chest aches, his face feels so stiff. His arms hang loosely at his sides, moving on impulse to open doors and his feet doing the same to walk down halls.
He takes a deep breath before opening the classroom door. The teacher stops talking, and all attention is drawn to him immediately. They all stare at him, and he glances at all his friends. He feels his chest clench in worry. In worry about them worrying over him, and so he flashes them a big awkward smile, feigning being embarrassed about how late he is.
Mina giggles, and Denki rolls his eyes fondly. Sero chuckles and continues his work, and with that, everyone goes back to their normal work, a lady up front talking about the effects of dangerous or fatal quirks that young children may have. She must be a lady from the health program.
He makes his way to his seat, trying his best to seem like his normal self. He didn't know what happened. Its almost as if... Like, as soon as he saw all of his friends, he just couldn't let them see him upset. He couldn't let them see how tired and dragged he was. He didn't want to let them down.
What happened to him wanting to just vent today? What...
The next three hours go by in a blur, his eyes drooping here or there, but nobody seems to notice. His brain short circuits more than once, staring at the whiteboard but not taking any notes down. He takes a deep breath, and tries to focus, only reading two or three words before getting lost.
And when lunch rolls around, everybody splits, excited to eat. His friends leave one by one, all knowing that they'll meet up at their normal table, and not thinking twice about waiting for eachother. Just as they always have.
Even Bakugo goes out, and Kirishima takes a deep breath as the classroom is left empty, Mr. Aizawa- who was teaching the class- being one of the first people out the door.
The alpha sits there, staring at the notes on the board. He waits until everyone is past the classroom before standing and packing his own things away.
He leaves the classroom, but doesn't want to go down to the lunch room, afraid he'll expose himself. He takes a deep breath, and walks towards the old stairwell that most people don't use anymore, mostly because the classrooms that way are used for storage now.
He takes a few steps down, sitting down and pulling out his books. He lays them on his lap, staring at his literature and maths. He didn't do any of the notes. He couldn't concentrate.
He stares hard at them, realizing that without the notes he'll have to read the chapter and figure out the notes himself. He stares even longer, realizing he'll fail the test tomorrow.
He feels his chest clench again, so much so that his throat feels tight and choked, his face getting hot under his eyes. He feels them burn, and he bites the inside of his jaw as he tries his best to hold back.
He swallows several times, but the feeling doesn't subside, and neither does the aching in his chest. He feels like its flooding his lungs, and his ears start ringing, but it sounds muffled at the same time. He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the tears fall over his cheeks.
He looks so bad today. He didn't get to sleep last night. He didn't get his notes! He's gonna fail!
He can smell his scent, and that's when the red head realizes he hasn't taken his evening blockers, his eyes growing wide in the midst of his panic. He reaches into his back pack, hands shaking as his breaths come heavy and labored.
He hates the tears that fall over his cheeks.
His hands shake as he pours the pills in his hands, taking a deep breath as he stares down at them.
Fucking stupid medicine. He swallows them in one go.
He presses the heel of his hands to his eyes, forcing his tears to stop, so he doesn't break, so his fit will calm down.
He can't snap, he can't. If he snaps, then hes giving in. If he snaps, he'll fuck up again. If he snaps then he'll ruin another relationship.
He's already made Mic uncomfortable. He's fainted infront of all of his friends, making them nervous and fidgety while hes around. He... He snapped at Bakugo. He screamed at him. He embarrassed him.
The red head sniffs hard, feeling his chest tighten even more, but his crying fit does settle. He sits there, waiting for the bell, waiting for the silence to be over, but also not wanting it to end.
When the bell rings, he can't help but sit there for a few more minutes, staring at the floor and hoping to god that hes calmed down enough to make it through the last hour and a half of school.
He stands, cursing as the tardy bell rings and he bolts back up the steps, slamming through the doors and running down the hall towards his classroom.
He still doesn't get any notes written.