By the time it's 8:00 am hes drifting off. He's counted at least 1,856 sheep. Yes, he's literally forcing himself.
His lashes flutter against his cheeks, and he sighs into the pillow, contentment filling his chest warmly. He screams in triumph as he drifts into a dark, embedded sleep. He doesn't dream of anything, and he's thankful for the comfort.
He wakes up at 11:23 am. It's only three hours of sleep, but it was wonderful. He still feels extremely drained though, but he's up, and awake, and there's just no going back to sleep at this point.
So he gets up, and pulls his hair back, not even bothering to brush it. The ponytail is messy and stringy, but its cute in a way and he doesn't bother to fix it at that point.
He pulls on some sweats and pulls on an oversized t-shirt, taking his meds last so he feels ready for the day. He slides on his slippers and shuffles to the door.
He shields his eyes from the fluorescent lights as he steps out, eyes burning in the bright lights as he shuffles down the hall to the elevator. The ride seems slow, but he thinks it's just his sleepy brain.
He yawns broadly as he steps off, walking across the common room to the kitchen. He wants coffee so bad.
"Hey Bakugo can I have another one?"
Kirishima stops dead, standing in the kitchen doorway with a heavy heart. He glances around at all of his friends that sit around the island, eating chocolate chip pancakes like it's their last meal, the syrup being passed around to Kami as the blond takes yet another three pancakes off the large stack sitting in the middle.
And there stands Bakugo. The blond looks ten times better, and more well rested than Kirishima has seen him in months. That's probably because he finally had a heat, and despite his tired look, he does look healthier.
Kirishima wishes he could feel that way.
He swallows tightly, feeling oddly ambarrassed and he makes his way past the omega and to the coffee pot. Bakugo glances at him, and they happen to lock eyes. Kirishima looks away shamefully, turning his head to the coffee pot as he pours some into a cup. He drinks it black this time, knowing that he won't wake up otherwise.
He sits down at the table, and they all quiet down considerably. He's thankful that his friends can read the room, and they can tell that he doesn't feel good yet again today. Them quieting down helps keep his headaches at bay.
"You feeling better today Kiri?" Mina asks gently.
Kirishima takes a deep breath, and flashes her a bright smile,"Actually yeah, I'm just a little sleepy."
"Dunno how!" Kami chuckles, shoving another mouth full in,"Chu Shleept thu Woon! [You slept till noon!]"
Kirishima gives a soft laugh, but jumps, coffee sloshing as a plate lands infront of him.
He looks up at Bakugo, the blonds crimson eyes squinting at him,"Eat, shitty hair, you're thin as fuck."
Kirishima feels his chest lighten just a little. The anger and shame that he's felt for the last week is still there, but happiness mixes into it as Bakugo openly continues to speak with him after the shitshow that happened the other day.
"Thanks." He murmurs, reaching for the syrup.
He pours the sweet goo all over the three pancakes, heart thudding happily. He's so hungry. He didn't eat much last night, having went straight upstairs and thrown up. He hopes that this at least will stay down. He cuts into it with his fork.
It smelled absolutely delicious at first, but as he lifts it to his mouth, his stomach destests the scent of chocolate and warm spongy cake. He cringes, pushing the food into his mouth anyways.
He gags immediately. Nobody notices, and Bakugo has his back turned. Kirishima grimaces, and sets his fork down as he swallows down what he had. He knows for a fact that if he eats one more bite, everything that he's been able to keep down since last night will come back up. It would only be water and a smoothie, but it'd still be gross.
"Why aren't you eating?"
He looks up to find Bakugo glaring at him from the stove. The blond somehow doesn't have a mess anywhere on him and he hasn't even worn an apron.
Kirishima glances at his friends angry glare, and he swallows, glancing at the food and feeling ashamed that he can't eat it,"I'm not hungry. I'm sorry."
Bakugo stares at him, and Kirishima doesn't. The red head can't bear to look him in the eyes. If he does, he isn't sure what he would do. He literally almost had sex with him like 5 days ago, and it was all because of his heat. Bakugo can't help his heat, but Kirishima could've stopped his own urges. Kirhsima can't face him like this. He needs time to process a good apology.
"What's wrong with you?" Bakugo sneers, and Kirishima frowns, clenching his hands together.
"I'm not hungry ok."
"You seemed fine with the coffee."
"That was to wake me up."
Bakugo glowers at him now, huffing as he flips a pancake without looking at it,"No appetite?"
"Yeah." Kirishima mutters, feeling a little attacked. Bakugo didn't have to get all steamy over the stupid pancakes.
"Meds?" Bakugo says a little darker. Kirishima glares at him now. Bakugo is attacking him, isn't he?
"Yes."
Bakugo swallows, eyes staring pointedly at the pan. The table is consderably quiet now, the other three people sitting there obviously uncomfortable now.
"You taking extra?" Bakugo mutters. Kirishima barely heard him.
"No..." Kirishima swallows,"I'm just taking the right amount."
"Why? You weren't before. What the fuck happened to that?" The omega says sharply.
This is about Friday. Kirishima knew it. He can tell by the sharp look in the blonds eyes, the way he won't look at the alphas face. He hasn't even done his normal goodmorning grunt to the red head.
"I said I was sorry." He whispers, hands clenching on the table. He feels his cheeks redden, body suddenly feeling more tired than before.
Bakugo finally looks at him, eyes staring deep into the other boys eyes. Kirishima swallows, and he clenches his jaw. The silence in the room is thickening, and he feels as if he can hardly breathe.
"You shouldn't fucking take so much of it that you make yourself sick dumbass." Bakugo growls,"What happened the other day was an accident."
"That coulda been prevented." Kirishima spits back, feeling defensive. Like he doesn't know that this shit makes him sick. Like he wants to do this. He hates it, he doesn't want to do it, but he has to or else he'll-
"You really think if you'd taken those meds it would've mattered?" Bakugo spats. His voice is hard and mean,"You're a fucking alpha Kirishima."
"You think I don't fucking know that." Kirishima says back, voice cold and blunt. He's not putting up with it today. He's just not. He's sick to his stomach, he feels like shit. He looks like shit. He can't do shit.
"Yeah, I do actually." Bakugo glowers at him, laying the spatula aside and he croses his arms over his chest,"You keep suppressing your rut and shit so it won't happen. You won't just fuck someone so you'll be better. What would the difference be."
"I'm not gonna have sex with some random person Bakugo!" Kirishima yells, unconcerned with his friends shocked looks,"My AHI has nothing to do with me loving someone. I'm not gonna do it."
"You'd feel a shitfuck better if you would just do it though!" Bakugo yells back now, and Kirishima snarls, baring his fangs as he stands.
"Just because you'd openly fuck around with someone Bakugo doesn't mean I want to! I'm not gonna do that to someone, or even myself, just to feel better! I'd rather take the fucking meds and-" He gestures to his own chest,"Look like this! I don't wanna fuck someone I don't know!"
"Then do it with someone you do know!" Bakugo's cheeks are red with anger, eyes glistening with a devilish intent. He's determined to win this argument.
Kirishima huffs, growling as he looks away from him. His gut curls uncomfortably as he sees his friends upset looks, and he feels even worse as he sees how stiff Kaminari has gone, shoulders tense as he stares at the table pointedly. He's obviously uncomfortable, and Mina and Sero look just as upset.
Kirishima takes a deep breath,"I don't wanna." He mutters gruffly, honestly just done with it.
"You didn't fucking mind the other day." Bakugo spits under his breath, but its so quiet in the room that they all hear it.
"I didn't mean to do that." Kirishima swallows clenching his jaw,"You can hate me if you want, but I'm not gonna fucking... That was... Different for..." He stares at his... His fated, and watches as Bakugo glares pointedly at the floor, body tense. He's uncomfortable. He's uncomfortable because Kirishima yelled at him.
The alpha scoffs,"Whatever." He whispers, and he blinks hard, trying to rid himself of the tears in his eyes,"You can't tell me what the fuck to do. How would you like it if I told you to find someone you tolerate to mate with? Huh? Just so you can have a little longer in the field." He looks up, and he grimaces as he sees Bakugo scoff, shaking his head as he still doesn't meet the red heads eyes,"It doesn't feel very good. Does it?"
Bakugo squints his eyes at the floor, the pancake in the pan slowly burning. Smoke rises from the omegas hands, and their friends are dead silent, unmoving. Kirishima bites his lip, stomach churning worse now than before as his throat tightens with the urge to cry. Bakugo's eyes look angry but there's hurt in them.
He turns and leaves the room, walking the fastest he has in a long while. He strides across the common room, and he gets weird looks, the class's eyes locked on him as he makes his way to the elevator. They must have heard the yelling in the kitchen.
He stands in the elevator silently, staring at his flimsy reflection in the metal doors. He huffs, and stares into his own wobbly eyes in the reflection, watching how it curves and wiggles because of its metallic properties.
And somehow he finds it mildly amusing that the reflection looks exactly how he feels.
Unstable.
He steps out of the elevator, staring at the ground blindly as his chest clenches and unclenches, his head making him dizzy and his feet drag. He's so tired. He's really tired actually. Maybe the fight with bakugo took whatever energy he had out? Maybe he can sleep for a few more hours.
Yeah... He'll spend the weekend sleeping. He's so done with staying awake. If he could just...
The young alpha sighs as he sees his bed, and he waddles over to it, knees feeling like they're about to buckle as he finally sits down and rolls into the warm covers. There's a single strip of sunlight shining through the window where the curtain doesn't quite reach all the way across, and he's glad it doesn't land on the bed near where his head lays.
He pulls the blanket close to his face, staring at the monotone wall as he blinks slowly. His chest aches, and he feels sick to his stomach as he remembers all the mean things he said.
Bakugo... Had every right to be upset. So why did the red head get so angry? He shouldn't have got angry. Bakugo should've hit him. He should've... He should've hit Kirishima.
The tears come unexpectedly. Not that he's surprised, but he wasn't expecting to cry again. He sniffles, and squeezes his eyes shut, willing them to go away. A man doesn't cry.
They don't though, and he cries until he can't stay awake anymore. His body falls slack against the bed, his heart beating slow despite his strained chest. He sniffles, and tucks his face close against the blankets.
He's so tired.
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