Taking a few deep breaths, I raise my arms above my head and attempt to calm myself down. As I breathe in and out, I bring my heartbeat back to a normal and calm pace. Still anxious and a bit absentminded, the remnants of my migraine still throbbing in my head, it all feels strange. Pushing my cart around the store, I do my best to remain present and focused on what I need to get so I can leave. Even with my best efforts, I still have a sense of disconnection with my present surroundings, like there is a low static hum in the back of my mind.

As I continue to do my errands, I wander aimlessly through the aisles, strolling into the small book section that they have in the store. Scanning through the random assortment of reading materials, my eyes freeze on a book in their small section of learning books. I can’t explain why, but everything in me jumps as I look at a Japanese Kanji learning manual. 

In the past, I have never had any interest in learning this language, yet as I stare at the intricate strokes and symbols, they invoke something inside of me— something I can’t explain, something that surpasses a mere interest. Picking up the book, I stare at it as an image of the woman in my dreams flashes across my mind.

The image is gone as quickly as it came, and my heart begins aching, and tears once again start streaming down my cheeks. The feeling of disconnect, the anxiety, the low static hum, they all just dissipate as I think about that face. I place the book into my cart and continue onward. Looking at my phone’s clock. ‘5:34 p.m.’ I need to hurry up and finish here. I quickly proceed to the check-out lines, pay for my things, and leave the store. All the while, still thinking about the strange feelings I’ve been experiencing today.