Lorekeeper Yu’Chri 8

The Great Ant War

The situation with the Ant Queens [a] had escalated during Madam Coco’s absence.

We got word that the King of Nibiru decided to join his oldest ally, the Red Ant Queen, in order to preserve his world’s spice monopoly; meanwhile, Brother Carrot Top just informed me that the Queen of Tuber established an alliance with the Black Ants after finding out she’s half-sweet potato. 

As for the other planets, Shapeshift is currently undecided while my people, the Roosevelts, are capitalizing on the situation by developing death robots to the highest bidder. The only planet that has remained neutral is, of course, the very peaceful isolationist colony; Hello Jello [b].

While there have been a couple of skirmishes between rival corporations, no blood has been shed during Madam Coco’s three-day absence. This is because the Ants have been preserving their “violent curb stomping baby-eating goblin energy” for the scheduled war on Colonia. Everyone involved in the battle is there right now, waiting for Madam Coco to leave for the Heavens to begin...

After I informed Her majesty about all this, she flew over at light speed… 

May the Red Giantess have mercy on the universe… 

Footnotes

a. Lorekeeper Yu’Chri 5

b. It also helps that Hello Jello is the coldest planet, making it borderline inhabitable for the ants; as a result, they are the only civilization in our system free from Colonia’s political influence.