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Band Together

If we get sued it's Ryder's fault

If we get sued it's Ryder's fault

Sep 09, 2025

Hours passed and the coffee table had once again descended into chaos. However this time boardgames and their various pieces didn’t litter it. Rather notebooks, several dead pens and various pieces of sheet music cluttered the surface.


Organisation often is the last thing on your mind when you’re trying to rhyme the name “Goole” with something and make it sound decent after all. Or at least it is for Jason.


After about two hours of non-stop creation (read debating which iconic quotes were the easiest to get in and vibing with each other) a song of sorts had started to take shape. 


It was by no means completely finished, after all there is always room for improvement. But Jason was rather proud with how this one turned out and from the looks of the other’s faces he can tell that they were too. 


“How did this end up being so socialist? Like I’m here for it but how?”


“Ryder I’m just going to hold your hand when I say this, we based this off An Inspector Calls, an incredibly socialist play. I would be more surprised if it wasn’t at all socialist.” 


Jasper paused his explanation for a moment trying to collect his thoughts. “Also it could be in support of fascism so, y’know there are worse things.”


Jason was secretly thankful that Jasper was the one who chose to reply to Ryder’s conclusion that yes the song ended up being rather socialist. 


He doesn’t think he could have kept a straight face if he would have had to explain exactly why the song about a socialist play became socialist to someone older than him as well.


Now Jason knows that there is no such thing as a stupid question… yet if there was Ryder would be using the line between the two categories as a fucking skipping rope.


“Okay, seriously though, how are we going to convince Ryder’s mum to let us publish this?”


Unfortunately Callum had a good point. Ultimately like your mum, he is always right and the sooner you accept that the easier life will be. 


“Umm… we could just produce and publish it without telling her, learn from the story and not allow ourselves to be victims of anyone else.” 


It was a simple idea, the general teenage shenanigans just on a larger scale. Still everyone applauded Ryder’s suggestion like it just won the Nobel Prize for teenage rebellion. 


“I know, I know. I am a genius.”


Everyone rolled their eyes at that. Not because Ryder was thick but rather due to his demonstration of his gigantic ego and someone needed to remind him to be humble. 


A task that the other four of them have annoyingly taken on against their collective wishes. 

As the others argued about how exactly they were going to pull off the technically illegal publishing plan, Jason just sat there amidst the chaos. 


He didn’t speak, he didn’t join in, preferring to stay merely a ghost, silently agreeing to their plans. 


He didn’t need to speak for them to know that he was listening and engaging with some of their more questionable ideas. 


He didn’t need to say anything to enjoy their company.


Still he was dragged out of his silent limbo by Elise dramatically gasping his face lighting up. 


“Guys. Guys hear me out but we should make a song for each subject about the trauma its GCSE gave us. Think about it, it would be legendary.” 


Now as much as the others knew that if they probably weren’t going to be allowed to publish the Inspector Calls song, it would be a cold day in hell before this concept was actually approved. 


It still didn’t stop all of them from immediately building onto the concept with their own ideas. 


Soon Callum had come up with the title for a song about RE: “Jesus would have never given me homework.” 


It didn’t matter that nobody else took RE, they were all immediately on board with the idea. Elise tapping out drum rhythms and Jasper miming guitar cords hallucinating the music. 


They had all collectively agreed that the chorus of the Science themed song would just be “The Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” sung over and over again. 


Because as Ryder put it “nothing screams punk rock quite like your biology notes.”


Honestly they would be doing the fans a service. Don’t want to revise, just play the GCSE trauma album. 


It may make you forget why you want to live but hey at least its slightly more entertaining revision.


Even Jason came up with an idea for a song about art, called “Low maintenance student” after his teacher who only used to talk to three people in the class and ignored the rest. 


Someone had to represent the art struggles and since he was the only one out of the five that took it he supposes that he’ll just have to endure the flashbacks for the greater good.


“Okay before we get into this I’m starving. So food first please.” 


Just as Callum mentioned the idea of food, Jason heard everyone else’s stomachs collectively rumble.


It’s annoying how easy it can be to forget to eat. Jason swears that he barely registers hunger until he stops what he is doing and really thinks about it. 


In that way he supposes that he is kind of like a toddler. 


“Yes, let's go to Maccies. Jasper you're paying.”


The look on Callum’s face as he heard Elise’s plan suggested that he was planning on cooking. 


But seriously why cook in the middle of the night when you could just order food?


It's not like they couldn’t afford it.


Everyone else was in favour of a midnight McDonalds run. Well everyone except Jasper who was being dramatic and cursing Elise out in French. 


Callum and Jason just tried not to laugh as Elise was called a “Budget-friendly Gerald” in French, especially when Elise responded with “Parle anglais” in the worst French accent imaginable. 


He swears that Elise somehow sounded Scottish.


Still despite Callum's vague protests and Jasper’s campaigning on behalf of his bank account they eventually escaped their flat and were running through the illuminated streets of London. 


Their breath froze in the crisp night air but they kept warm by racing through the streets. London truly never sleeps because at two am they dodged through crowds of people leaving theaters and heading to tube stations, as well as several drunk uni groups. 


Ricksaws disrupted the peaceful chaos of the city and cars sped down roads, finding freedom in the lack of traffic. 


Compared to the other parties on the street they were severely underdressed. 


All of them were in some form of sleep wear, hoodies and slippers protecting them from the harsh chill of the night.


It took about ten minutes to convince Ryder to put a shirt on and for the others to convince him to change his shorts to joggers. So it's a miracle that they weren’t all black and blue.


It should have only taken fifteen minutes maximum to reach the nearest 24h Mcdonalds however that time was nearly doubled. 


Ryder insisted on trying to scale a lamppost, he failed but at least they have blackmail for later.


Eventually they reached their destination, shivering and out of breath. 


Jason couldn’t have been happier to enter the barely heated restaurant, he felt like collapsing as soon as he entered the door. 


Still the group made their way over to the ordering screen, giving the responsibility of putting the orders into Jasper since he was paying, even though it was against his will.


They all settled on some form of a happy meal. It was the easiest after all.


That and Jasper looked like he was going to burst if he had to put in one overly complicated order that he knew nobody actually wanted and was only being put in to ignore him.


Maybe it looked a little strange, a tone of teenage boys all ordering happy meals to appease the person paying. Honestly Jason didn’t care because he got the best Squishmellow toy thank you very much.


Soon they were sprinting down the London streets again. Orders in hand trying to reach their flat before the food went cold. If it did Jasper would have wasted his money. 


It became a race, whoever won got to choose the film, and the competition was fierce. 


Drinks were almost spilt, food almost dropped. Jason swears that he saw Elise almost trip over air. 


Everyone wanted the honor of choosing the film. 


Personally Jason wanted to annoy the others by making them watch Batman Under the Red Hood for the quadrillianth time. 


What can he say? It's a good film and anyone who says otherwise is lying. 


Or maybe he’s just biased. He was named after Jason Todd, the Red Hood, afterall. Still even if he wasn’t he probably would have still liked the character. He can’t imagine a world in which he didn’t. 


He, unfortunately, did not win. That honour went to Elise who skidded to a stop at the door milliseconds in front of him. 


They did have to wait for Ryder though because he was the one with the key and to everyone else’s pain came last.


Once the door had clicked unlocked everyone immediately collapsed on the nearest sofa, or the floor in Ryder’s case. 


He is a little strange. 


The food was nibbled at and the drinks were leisurely sipped until they regained enough of their strength to sit up properly and put the film on. 


Elise chose A Muppet’s Christmas Carol, seemingly inspired by their early rants regarding the dreaded English Literature GCSE. 


Despite everyone else’s complaints, saying that they would rather watch something their future didn’t depend on once upon a time, Jason actually enjoyed it. 


He had never watched a Muppets movie before, not that he told anyone that. Nope that's a secret he would be taking to the grave. 


Imagine the teasing if they ever found out. It would be relentless and he doesn’t feel like putting up with that. Not at the moment. 


They all monologued along with the narrator when a key quote they remembered came up and everyone practically shouted “Spirit tell me if Tiny Tim will live.” between bites of food. 


After which Jason was promptly declared Tiny Tim and was left to suffer with that fate for the rest of the film.


“Hey maybe we should write a song about A Christmas Carol, y’know for the psychopaths that chose business”


The suggestion flowed out of his mouth before Jason even had a chance to understand what he was saying. 


Still it felt natural and he wasn’t worried about being judged, for all their teasing he knew that none of them would ever judge him. This was a place he could be himself after all. 


Even if Ryder’s immediate response was undignified squawking. Jason forgot that he took Business for GCSE okay. It was an honest mistake.


itriastra
itri_astra

Creator

Do you have GCSE trauma? Well they do too. Either way nothing beats a midnight trip to McDonalds and bonding over exam trauma.

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If we get sued it's Ryder's fault

If we get sued it's Ryder's fault

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