The faint sound of summer rain striking the window has settled into a rhythm, with the voices suggesting that I fling books around the room or burn my hand on the lit candle.

Doing my best to ignore the taunting whisper. I keep telling myself the name of the street where men's blissful menders are located. I can not risk forgetting the way. The place is across town, and it's already late. I have to leave if I want a chance to catch her. But despite it being a summer night, the rain is heavy. I need a cloak.

Leaving the library, I hear Alva's all-too-familiar voice. "I do not know how to say it to them, Teival. " Just around the corner, Alva stands with her back to me, and Teival at barely any distance from her. Why do I keep finding them together? He shouldn't be anywhere near her. "I know it is a difficult conversation to have, but you made your decision. Besides, King Alfonso already approved. " What has my father approved of?

"Prince Valor, fancy seeing you here," Teival greets. He appears startled, having noticed me. Alva turns around, her braided hair swirling around her head at the fast movement. After having set her eyes on me, she turns her gaze towards the floor.

"What is it you two are talking about?" I ask. 

Teival scratches his neck, he has a look of guilt in his eyes. "I will let you tell him, goodnight your Highness," he says before making a fast exit.

"Alva? What did he mean by that? What is it you have to tell me?" My mind is running through so many thoughts and fears. Has he done anything to Alva? What if he wants to marry her instead of Malika? "Alva, please, is Teival being inappropriate towards you?"

She gasps. "Valor, how can you suggest such a thing? Of course not."

Though relieved, I am still confused, if it is not that, what is she hiding? Is she sick? Does he know her family? What is going on, and why is she not telling me? "Please, you are the most important person in my life. You can tell me everything." I try to speak calmly, but my clenched hands might have given away that I am boiling with anger.

"I had hoped to talk with you all together about this-" Alva hesitates for a moment, looking at my hands. Does she fear how I will react, is it something so awful that she is afraid to tell me? "-Teival has made me aware that there is an elf parish in Ledasgele."

"Do you wish to travel to see it? That's an excellent idea," I say. Is it just that? Why is she worried about telling me about that?

"You think so?" Alva ask. She has a puzzled look on her face. 

"Yes, we could go together. Is it close to Teival's home? We could visit Malika when we go." Us two travelling alone. That would be a great time to heal our relationship.

But why does Alva look sad at this idea, what is going on? "Valor, the parish is at the edge of the cursed forest. In the coming year, the elves plan to return home to their own land-" She pauses for a second, and when she continues, her voice is a whisper. "I do not plan to just visit. I am going to stay there in the time they remain. "

I feel as though a stone fell down into my stomach. She wants to leave me. "Is this because of me, because of what I did?" My voice cracked as I spoke. 

"No, Valor. It is because I have never met another elf, this is my one chance to learn about myself, about what I am, who I am." She explains.

"But at a parish, that be like if you wanted to learn about humanity and moved into a church." The possibility of her leaving is concerning. And to do it for something as silly as a parish. "It is all I have," she whispers.

Blinking a few times, trying to stop the tears from falling. I will not deny that elves are a rarity but going to a parish that will not even be there for long isnt that pointlessness? "And after? You said yourself they are leaving, will you come back here?" I ask, desperate to hear a promise that she will come back to me.

"I do not know, I will make that choice when I need to." 

The voice in my head is furious. Kill her, she hurt you, her blood needs to be spilt. In frustration, I grab her arm. "You can not just leave, this is your home!" I yell. 

Alva pulled her arm away, then took a few steps back from me, colour had drained from her face. "Is it Valor? Your father has never let me forget I am not part of this family, I am not even allowed to dine with you all." She starts sniffing, a few tears trickling down her face. She turns, before practically running down the hall. Before having a chance to run after her, she is out of my sight.

In a trance, I walked through the castle hallways. Alva is leaving me, how can she just leave? Has she given up on us? In my sleeping chamber, I grab a pillow from the bed, to scream into. I scream from my lungs until they are empty, I keep screaming to my throat burns. Alva is leaving me.

The feeling of a hand on my back makes me look up. Malika is standing there, her hair covered behind a floral scarf. In a quiet voice, she asks, "Valor, what is troubling you?"

After throwing the pillow down on the bed I turn to scream at her "Go Away!" Taken aback by my loud voice, she takes a few steps back. "This is your fiancé's fault."

Malika takes a deep breath before replying, "I see Alva has told you about her plans." She knew, she fucking knew. 

"How can she just leave me?" My voice cracked. My eyes have begun to burn. But I need to pull myself together. Now. I am wasting time. "I do not have time for this, I have to go."

I move toward the dresser, blinking away my tears. "Go? Where are you going?" Malika pesters me for an answer as I pull out a brown cape.

"I have to go find her," I say while draping the cape around my shoulders. 

Malika steps up to me. "Are you going to look for the deserter? You need to think about what you are doing here. You can not do something so reckless."

She always does this, lectures us, as if she knows better. "I am thinking. If I do not find her first, the guards will. And they surely will kill her," I sneered.

"That will not happen, you are being foolish. Do you even have an idea of where she is?" She asked in a calm, almost pleading voice.

"You do not understand, I need to be the one to find her, she is expecting execution if she is caught. That means she has nothing to lose, so she is going to fight the guards to her last breath." 

Malika starts to cross her arms but stops halfway through the action. I assume she stopped because her tight dress restricts her body movement. "At least take some guards with you."

"I can not do that. The guards would prevent me from leaving."

Malika stomps her foot. "The monks were right. You are a complete fool, there is no other explanation for thinking of doing something so dangerous alone." Her words sting. I didn't need the reminder of my time being educated at the Heilagur monastery and how much difficulty I had with learning.

"If you are going. Then I am coming with you." 

My eyes were popping out. How can she even suggest such a thing? "Malika, Who is now being foolish?-" I groaned. "I haven't got time for this. Besides you cannot even scale the wall in that." Gesturing to the dress, she could barely cross her arms in.

"Either I am coming, or I am going to Father, and telling him what you are up to." She could do that, but I could also be out of here before she got to him. But then again, depending on where the guards are. It could take too long even getting out of the castle. 

"And how do you plan to get out of the castle in that dress?" I ask. 

"We are going to leave through the river gate." That gate is rusted solid. How I wish I were an only child.