"I need a nap."

“I need food.” Bre walks away to the booth labeled food. 

I slap Lillibeth on her thigh. “Get up, you're taking up room.” She groans. 

“Just sit on the other side.” She moans. I say nothing as I sit on her butt.  

“Or you can sit on me.” 

We sit in silence for a while. The wind is gone and it is just hot. I can feel the sweat drip from my skin. 

“I feel moist.” I say looking at the water rase down my arms. 

“I know right. We are very out of shape. We should play a sport.” 

“Which one?” 

“ Basketball?” She turns her head. 

“We’re too short and you’re too aggressive.” 

“Volleyball?” 

“ What happens when I go to hit the ball and miss? That's so embarrassing.” 

“Ture and your ass is too flat.” She jokes. 

“Really Lil?” 

She just laughs. 

“ Whatcha talkin about?” Bre says coming back with her arms full of water and sandwiches. She sits across from us. 

“We’re thinking about playing a sport-.”

“Ooo Bre you’re amazing.” Lillibeth says sitting up, causing me to almost fall, and grabbing a water bottle. 

“We’re talking about playing a sport upcoming school year.” I finish glaring at Lillibeth as I move to sit next to her. 

“ Oooo. Play golf.” Bre says. Bre’s the only one out of the 3 of us that has a somewhat healthy lifestyle. She plays golf regularly and eats healthy during the season, has a planned future and back up plan, has a boyfriend who she for some reason plans to marry. She’s probably going to be the most successful out of us. 

“ I don't know, that seems like a lot of thinking.” Lillibeth says with her mouth full. 

I hit her arm. “Ew don't speak with your mouth full. I don't mind wearing mini skirts though.” 

“ We barely do anything hardworking, we don't do stretches either. Plus when we go to the country clubs we have enough free time to talk to cute boys.” 

I shrug my shoulders. “ We’ll see when the time comes. No promises though.” The next 2 trails are… eventful. Lillibeth got lost and we had to side track and find her. Some girls faked being bit by a ladybug so she wouldn't have to hike anymore, another got stuck mid zipline and our tour guide had to climb to get her. Considering the type of people we are, I would say we did good. 

“ Ok ladies this is the second to last trail-” 

“Finailly.” Says the girl who faked being bitten. 

“ This trail is mostly walking and sightseeing.” 

This trail is by far the most beautiful; we take pictures of everything. All the flowers and fruits.  

“ Bro, stop, just take the picture.” 

I trail off from the path a little to follow the voice. There is a huge rock on a clearing. The sun is right above it giving it a heavenly look. Colin and his group are there. He is standing on the rock posing with two thumbs up. 

“You got it?” He asks the person holding his phone. 

“No, I'm texting your hot sister.” 

“ Bro seriously come on.” 

“ I'm kidding. I got it.” 

Colin looks around, taking in the scenery before jumping off the rock. He reaches for his phone but the other boy holds it from arms reach. 

“ Give me the phone.” Colin tries to get it.

The other boy laughs. “ You’re so weak Carter, no wonder you got no girls.”

“ Dude you’re not funny, give it back.” 

“Yeah come on Bryden give it back.” One other boy says but is busy taking his own pictures. 

“Oh what are you going to do Carter?” The boy taunts.

“ Good thing you’re over that loser, look at him. He looks so awkward.” Bre laughs from beside me. 

I turn my face towards her but keep my face on Colin. 

I put my phone in my skort pocket, getting ready to show myself but someone grabs me. 

“ Stop. Don't go out there.” I turn my body to look at Bre. 

“Bre he needs help.” I say tugging but she keeps me still. Bre is half my size yet she’s so strong. 

‘Maybe I do need to play a sport…’ 

“ No he doesn't, they're not even doing anything.” 

“They’re being mean.” 

“ So what? That’s how boys play.” 

“ Colin doesn't like being treated like that.” 

“ Why should you care about that Atticus? You’re over him, remember?” I don’t answer her as I turn to walk towards the boys but they are gone. 

I turn around and glare at her before I make my way back to the path. 

 “ Why are you acting like you’re such a saint?” Bre ask, getting in front of me. 

“ I'm not but they were being mean.” 

“And you’re not a mean girl Atticus? Be fucking for real right now. You treat people the same way those boys were treating Colin. Before you were all Colin crazy you used to make fun of boys like him.” 

“ Boys like him? Colins-” 

“ A weirdo. He’s not like us Atticus. The kid plays math games for fun.” 

“ So what? I think it's cute. You can’t be made at someone for being smart”

Bre rolls her eyes. “ I'm not saying that. He’s annoying and bratty. I thought you’d be over this by now. Stop defending someone who wouldn't do the same for you.” 

“You don't-” 

“Know him like you do right?” Bre laughs. “That might be true but look at what he’s done to you. He lied, not once, not twice. Tell me Atticus. Tell me how many times. I know you keep count of all the times he’s fucked you over, used you, called you all those names, stood you up. I mean look at you Atticus.”

No. I refuse to look at myself. Just to see the mess he made of me. I really fucking underestimated him. So yes I do know him. More than anyone. I know all about his little shy act. I know under those beautiful dark brown eyes he probably laughs at me for what he did. He knows what he does to me. He made it obvious. I’m on my knees for him. 

‘Literally now.’ 

I do count. It’s hard not to. The amount of times I’ve laid in bed and cried wondering what I did wrong. What I have to do to change. Because I'm just so willing to do anything for him. Anything. My burning need to please him is insufferable. Humiliating when others tell me the cruel things he says about me. When his sister made it public I forced him to interact with me. When I pass by underclassmen and they stare and I feel scared not knowing what they know. What lies he told them that I now have to keep up with. I thought being older gave me an advantage. But it just made his playground bigger. 

I say nothing. There is nothing to say. Nothing she could say to make me stop loving him. Nothing she could say could hurt me more than he has.

“ Look at you Atticus.” She says more firmly this time. “ You’re pretty, you can have anyone. Guys look at you everywhere you go. And..And Colin is so ugly. I just don't understand. I really don't. Is it his money you want?” She trails off as if really thinking. 

“ Why are you being like this, Bre? I thought you liked Colin? Him and I?Why is he such a problem now? He’s been with us all year, and no one said anything.”

“ I don't like Colin. I like you. I was happy for you. I was happy for you in middle school, and at the beginning of this year but this is ridiculous. The way he treats you and what do you do for him? Make him cookies that he threw away might I add. We’ve all complained about him. You think we’re joking but we’re not. He’s just not like us.”

“What the fuck does like us mean Bre?”

“ Come on Atticus. The kids 15 and never had his first kiss. You’re quite literally the only girl that talks to him.”

“ So what? He’s not a slut?” 

“Or maybe there is just a very obvious reason girls his age don't like him, that you are very much ignoring.” She shrugs her shoulders and walks away. Leaving me there. I want to cry. Some summer this is.

The rest of the trip is gloomy. Lillibeth tries to make it happy but after a while gives up, giving us weird looks. 

She’s so precious. 

The ride back to the hotel is loud but mostly the boys and Lillibeth talked. Colin still sat next to me but the air around us felt awkward. He didn’t talk much either. Then  again no one talked to him first. He just sat watching whatever nerdy show on his phone.

‘We need to talk.’ 

When we get back it is late afternoon, most kids go up to their room to sleep while some go to the snack bar.

“It’s like I'm so tired but I can't fall asleep, you know?” Lillibeth says as she hangs upside down from the side of her bed. We are both showered and are in bed. 

“ Yeah.” I say, not looking up from my book. 

Lillibeth rolls on her stomach and gets quiet. She is like a child. Whenever she gets quiet you know something is wrong. I sit my book down on the shared night stand and look at her. 

“Whats-up?” 

She looks me in the eye and gives me a small smile. “ So what happened between you and Bre?” She laughs a little trying to brighten the mood.

‘I was really hoping she wouldn't ask.’ 

I shrug playing it cool. “Nothing, we just had a fight.” I smile back. Picking up my book to signal the conversation is over. 

“It's just… I feel like you guys don't tell me things. You don't tell me things…and I tell you everything you know? I just feel so left out. Sometimes I feel like I’ve known you for years but then it’s like I don't know you at all. But I don't know. Maybe I'm just looking too deep into things.” She laughs. 

‘I'm a piece of shit.’ 

I sit my book down and look her in the eyes. “ Yeah you are just looking into things. Me and Bre just had a disagreement. Nothing important.” I smile. 

“Oh.. ok. You guys just seemed so. I don't know, mad at each other.” 

I shake my head. “ We were just tired. I'm just tired. I think I'm going to take a nap.” I say, fluffing my pillows and rearranging myself. 

“Oh ok good night then.” She fake smiles.

“ Night Lil, I love you.” 

“Love you too.”

How do you feel about Bre?