The next morning I woke up in a panic, how did I miss my alarm?. As I shake my tangled mess of curls, “fuckfuckfuck” I mutter as I try to calm myself, taking a second to think. I grab my phone ready to grovel no matter how much I hate my job, I’m never late, hell I dont think I’ve had any time off except when I'm told to go home. I sigh with relief as I see the date, its my day off, and lay back down. I try to fall back asleep but I'm too wired. 

With a frustrated groan, I practically tumble out of bed and wander to the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. I look at the bird's nest formed on my head, it's been described to me as cherry brown. I run my fingers through it to detangle it. I've seen online you should never brush curls and I mean they’re right, mine just turns into a fine mess of puff if I do, my hair is very fine but there’s a hell of a lot of it. My eyes look tired a little sad but oh well the other kids used to call them purple when in fact they’re clearly blue my parents would always get shitty if they heard anyone called them purple to the point where I’d cry until I was red and puffy about the fact they are actually blue, I’d learned early on that it was important and I didn't want to disappoint mum and dad.

Splashing my face with water I decide to skip my shower today, I'm just not ready to deal with the shower today, I'd rather be in my pajamas, Molly would tell me off for sure if she saw me like this at 11am on a weekday, that's right Molly, I don't hear her tapping around so she must be out of animal form but on the other hand why didn't she wake me when she was heading out, that's weird she usually does. I try to ignore the pit in my stomach, I’m a worry wart everyone says so and there’s usually nothing to be scared of so I ignore it, I take a deep breath and pad into the kitchen to feed my caffeine addiction I may not take medication but caffeine definitely helps grabbing a random can from the cupboard, I don't even check the name or brand as long as its sugar free and tastes good I dont care. I prefer the drinks room temperature. The cold hurts my teeth and feels weird. I will drink cold or hot drinks but I'm not a fan of extremes, which is weird for someone who seems to feel life is nothing but extremes. It's the only way I can feel controlled and comforted. It's always important to stay in control, you lose control bad things happen which is why I don't drink or take any risks. I really agree with– staying within the confines of your box and you’ll be safe– way of living life. 

Rubbing my eyes I sit down on the lounge trying to make sense of the world. I don't know why I feel so out of it today. Usually I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed, maybe I'm just burned out.  This job is getting to me, this really isn't what I wanted from life, I thought by now I'd have my preternatural law degree and would be actually helping people not filing paperwork all day, but still its better than when they make me do face to face consultations they never go well, the fae and I, well we do not gel well to say the least. They’re dangerous and pretty much the last species that deserve legal rights, there’s something deeply wrong in them as a whole and are not to be trusted. Honestly I don't even consider them people but those words would land me in HR with a termination of employment. So to put it basically, Im fucked, Ive either got ot be content with paperwork and pray they dont put me back on face to face consult work or admit Im a massive failure. 

I feel a massive wave of calm come over me as the caffeine hits and I begin to relax a little, I never thought I’d grow up to live the life I do, I thought there’d be adventures and wonder, not an endless cycle of work, sleep, caffeine repeat. But oh well that’s how it was meant to be for me clearly, I do make a mental note to attempt to go out with Molly and her friends one night though that’d be nice, maybe, probably not though, possibly just dinner before they go out, baby steps. 

I spend the rest of my day watching comfort shows, I don't even bother getting changed into actual clothes. It's a no bones day is all I can say. I get to bed at a decent hour, still no sign of Molly, but I manage to fall asleep quite easily after checking my alarm for work tomorrow is active and my phone is on charge at least five times not wanting a repeat of today’s panic. 

That night I dream I'm following Molly through the meadow..