Song: 'Gurenge' by LiSA

Aokiya looked at Shikhiro. "Poor rabbit..."

Shikhiro replied, "It didn't die in vain though -- this shit is good! Also, this guy named Yazhi Maradaev was talking a lotta shit to me on Twitter; I'm supposed to fight him in February in Kyoto despite the fact that he's 2-6."

"He's 2-6?  Low-hanging fruit, but I'd smack him as well." She picked up a fried rabbit on a stick as well and bit into it. "This is good! You're right."

The couple saw Yazhi. Yazhi has fair skin, a huge goatee, and black hair. The Ingush guy looked at the two. "If it isn't Shikhiro Alambyoev. How's your anime fetish, or whatever it is you filthy japs gets your rocks off on?"

"I heard you guys like to drink camel piss. Also, don't you have a building to suicide bomb? I should ignore you, but you keep trying to shit on me." Shikhiro ate the last of his fried bunny, whereas Kwesi and Aokiya watched The Ingush Warrior.

"Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal," Yazhi responded whilst eating a BLT. "And again, I'm an atheist, and I don't drink camel piss. Thirdly, I can slap your girlfriend on her thick ass, and you won't do a thing about it!"

"You gotta go through me, you piece of shit."  Shikhiro scowled at the assailant. "I'm sooooo gonna enjoy beating the shit outta your annoying ass in February!"

Yazhi ate the last of his bacon sandwich. "I can beat your ass within round one."

"Says the one who's 2-6. Whose dick you have to suck to stay signed to Rizin? The president's? I hope not." Shikhiro and Co. walked away to go get some yakisoba. 

Kwesi looked at his brother. "I see you're annoyed by Mr. Maradaev. Does his mom not give him cuddles?" He took the yakisoba and started eating it. 

"I'd never let him slap my ass," Aokiya chimed in while putting mayonnaise on her soba noodles. "Only you're allowed to do that. That full-blown pervert better keep his dick in his pants though, if he knows what's good for him. One swift kick to the liver from me will sit his ass down. I can hold my own, you know."

Shikhiro picked up his buckwheat noodles and started chowing down. "Bruv probably has a dick the size of a Cheez-It cracker due to it being crushed by pussies. His life involves a bed full of hoes. He said I wish I had the life he had, but I said you're the only woman I need."

Aokiya said, "He probably does have erectile dysfunction. He's nothing but an insufferable horndog, yet he says anime fans are pervy. He has no room to talk, you know."

"I know. Also, I get to do a Rizin fight today; it'll be against this undefeated Russian Jew named Yonatan 'Y-bomb' Greenberg. He's 16-0. It'll be prelims though." Shikhiro ate the last of his noods.

.....

The fight began, which is the second fight on the card. Shikhiro walked out to 'Gold' by Excision & Illenium. "I got this," he reassured himself with a whisper.

Yonatan walked out to 'Freaky Friday' by Chris Brown & Lil Dicky. "I'm gonna snap his undefeated streak," he said to himself but in Yiddish "and get me some pastrami with mustard on rye."

The bell rang. Shikhiro started with a few leg kicks, then he took Yonatan down, and they exchanged fists. Aokiya and Kwesi were watching from the crowd, cheering Shikhiro on. Shikhiro then knocked Y-bomb down with a spinning heel kick to the ribs. Yonatan's never been knocked down before till now; he's been undefeated. 

Aokiya started taking notes on how to do a spinning heel kick. Shikhiro knocked Yonatan down again, but Y-bro got up and hit The Kazakh Warrior with a head kick. Shikhiro kept punching, unfazed by the blow to the dome. Then BAM! Shikhiro delivered a rear-naked choke, but Yonatan refused to tap. The Jewish, 30-year-old went to sleep, making the crowd go bananas, but being the good sport that he is, Shikhiro tapped the sole of Y-man's foot. "Hope I haven't killed him," he said to himself. "If I did, I'm gonna have to retire.

Yonatan came to and shook Shikhiro's hand. Shikhiro talked in the microphone that Kyuki was holding. "Yazhi Maradaev! You're next, you filthy fuck! I wanna kick your ass for the shit you said about my mom and my girlfriend!"

Yazhi went in the cage, and he and the blue-eyed brawler faced each other in the middle of the octagon. Aokiya and Kwesi stood by her beau's side, elated at the fact he won.

Yonatan talked in the mic as well, giving his foe a side hug. "Man, Shikhiro's a gangster for real! I'm hoping to defeat him next time we fight. Nothing but love and respect for this Kazakh-Japanese warrior!" He handed Shikhiro a huge box of chocolate babka. "Hope you like chocolate."

"Have you seen my snack drawer at my parents' house?!" Shikhiro smiled at him. "I have chocolate bars in there."

The two went out the octagon. Shikhiro sighed in relief and ate a slice of said Jewish dessert.