No matter how ruthless and cold I am, nothing beats the biggest egotistical narcissist of them all...

Mother Nature.

She has no problem ripping me a new one.

Tossing me into rocks and pushing me deeper into the water until I'm gasping for air.

Just to toss me above, give me hope that it's over, and then yank me back down because she's not done making me her ragdoll.

.........

I knew women would give nothing but problems.

Mother Nature?

Sounds about right.

My mother was also a beast in her own way of "care" when she decided to give a damn...

Speaking of a dam!

HELL YEAH!!!

Beavers have officially become my favorite animal...

Until I come across one, of course, and it's very angry at the dumb twat invading its home.

And fuck...

First a homicidal ninja squirrel...

And now... beavers.

NOPE!

I need to move along before they decide to welcome me into their den!

And damn!!

.............

Damn you...

Shit!

Stop focusing on the pun, you twat!!

Get out of the damn water...

chuckle

............

God, I can be so annoying sometimes.

And my body is not helping!!

It's heavy as hell.

And colder than a shivering ice cube!

I need to drag my ass to a better location.

That bitch...

She is probably tracking the river and will be here in no time.

FUCK!

The hell I am going to go down like this.

But luckily, I am prepared for this possible scenario.

I brought these portal blood packs, and thank God they're still intact.

I knew getting this double heavy-duty cooler transit bag was worth the money.

Fuck me for not being cheap about it.

Alright...

Now the question is...

I need to lay low.

I need somewhere out of sight, safe, secure, and time.

.........

Yeah...

The blood loss has made me fucking delusional.

.....and there I see it...

An image of the heavens shining on me.

A beautiful cave.

Mother Nature truly has a sense of humor...

That is my sanctuary.

........or my fucking grave.

But fuck!

It's my only damn option.

Alright, here we go...

Fuck, Dante.

Don't you dare drag your ass over there.

You can't rush this.

You stupid twat.

Lift your damn legs and don't you dare leave a trail for that bitch.

I swear over my dead car, I will hurt you myself, Dante!

Fucking woods.

Why do they have to have so many branches?

Don't you dare touch them.

These trees are fucking snitches.

And they are not your damn friends.

If anything...

After this is fucking over...

I will personally come back over here and axe these damn trees for making this fucking walk more difficult.

........shit.

FUCK!!

Alright...

How the fuck did this cave seem so close and so far at the same fucking time?!

.......

Hmph...

Wait...

A waterfall?

........

.......it's echoing...

Am I willing to gamble that there is a cave on the other side of the water?

.............shit.

.............

This cave is already in front of me.

.......................

Fuck it.

I am already gambling with the blood loss.

I might as well go with the chance of a hidden cave than the open, obvious one.

And it has all I need.

Security.

Out of sight.

Shelter.

Safety.

And most importantly...

Time for recovery.

That is...

If there is an actual cave right there.

Come ON!

........

Dizzy.

Fuck me!

NO!

No, you damn fucking twat!

Snap out of it!

You're right at the victory line!

Or... a phantom one, but fuck, it's something!

Compose yourself and slowly walk over there.

And damn you, body, if you even try to fail on me again like that, I will break your damn legs!

I slowly make my way toward the water.

Only inches away from discovering if my gamble was worth it.

I hear it...

The sound of a tree branch being broken.

........

Animal...

But I knew better.

It's an animal, alright.

It's the fucking homicidal ninja squirrel catching up.

There's no time to turn back now.

I can only move forward now.

FUCK!