That was it I was going to murder my brothers. Usually I loved them, well not usually, but I tolerated them most of the time. This was not one of those times. See, I love sleep. Who doesn’t? Unless you are one of those people who are afraid of sleeping in which case I would recommend getting that checked out because sleeping was the best thing ever. I slept whenever I could and would never not be tired. I was always tired no matter how much I slept. Some might say that I need to get that checked out but that’s not the issue here.
The issue at the moment was the murder plan I need to concoct for my dear brothers. It was 6 am and they were talking rather loudly. While I needed to get up for school I had another half hour before my alarm went off.
I want you to know a couple things. I have (soon to be) eight brothers and two sisters (the sisters are twins). We only have 4 rooms in the two story house. Can you see where I’m going with this? My parents have one then the twins have their own. Where does that leave me? The eldest? Sharing a room with the second and third eldest and the brother after the twins. I wasn’t sure what to call him. The next three brothers were sharing a room but they were cool. They were small kids that didn’t bother me.
As I was meticulously planning the murder of my dear brothers I heard bits and pieces of their conversation. Something about a water balloon, my face and the best alarm clock ever. Well I have bad news for them. I already have three annoying alarm clocks in this room.
I sprung out of bed and grabbed a pillow. I threw it at them and they all shouted. Serves them right my poor bedsheets have been through enough and they did not deserve to be wet. They have offered years of comfort to me and I wanted the best for them. They all looked at me like sad little puppies and I just glared. This game went on for about 2 minutes before the 14 year old Jack sighed in defeat.
Jack was always the one to quit while he was ahead. He was a little monster sometimes but he knew when to stop. He was a cautious guy. A guy that knew exactly what had to be done in order to get exactly what he wants without getting into to much trouble. He was smart, I liked that about him. He was also ridiculously good with editing, filmmaking anything having to do with electronics he managed to be great with. He’s saved me on so many school projects I couldn’t thank him enough.
12 year old Jordan well, putting it simply he was a complete egomaniac. Even at 12 he seemed acutely aware that he was good looking. I didn’t mean that in like an incestual way but if you saw him you know what I’m talking about. He shared the same dark blue eyes and honey brown hair that the Sands family all inherited but something about it was different. I couldn’t describe it no one really could. It seemed that the higher power decided you know what we gave the world two Sands brothers let’s make this one look older than 12 and shaped perfectly. He was the handsome one of the family the looker the one all girls stared at.
Yes, we all had our roles. So far I’m the popular golden boy who managed to get good grades. Jack was the techie. And Jordan was what I’ve heard many girls referred to as an Adonis.
Joseph was a little harder to read. The little dude was eight and had a lot of energy. He used it in mainly sports so he might be the athlete of the family. He was a follower of Jordan. He gained a little attitude like him but he was always put down about it. Mostly by Jordan. I kid you not this is an actual conversation between them one day:
“Maybe I’ll become as handsome as you when I grow up!” Joseph said excitedly his teal eyes shining behind his mop of brown hair.
Jordan smirked ran a hand through his hair that was always in some douchebag hairstyle, “Don’t be ridiculous. No one will ever look as good as me.” Joseph’s eyes went dull and he frowned.
Joseph was so full of hope. It was a little heartbreaking. Little guy cared so much about everything and everyone that he never took time to take care of himself and never took time to build up confidence.
He might also be the most caring of the group.
Now before you start hating Jordan here’s how the rest of that small conversation went:
Jordan had guilt written into his face for a second then smirked again, “You’ll be a close second though.”
Joseph’s eyes never shined brighter.
Jordan can be a nice guy sometimes.
This was not one of those times. He gave me a wicked smirk and held up a water balloon. I froze and stared as he began to get ready to throw it. Next thing I knew the door was slammed open. We all turned to see we made a huge mistake.
The twins were standing in the doorway. Their hair was a mess and they looked absolutely pissed off.
Sophie was a sunshine girl. Always smiling she had a warm demeanor that was welcoming. She wore dresses and skirts all the time I don’t know if there was a time she didn’t wear them. She was very bubbly and while academically smart she was kind of short on the uptaking. She really didn’t know when to stop talking. She also had a remarkable talent of getting lost in the weirdest places. She was very directionally challenged. She was so innocent and easily to confuse you kind of had to constantly watch over her. She was like a sweet blind kitten that everyone wanted to protect.
Sydney was like an old grandpa dog who has been to many wars and just done with everyone’s bullshit.
Unlike her sister she was a rainshower. She was brutally honest very outspoken and just generally a honest person. She was grumpy 24/7 and didn’t have any time for anyone’s crap. She simply wanted to live her life and if that included taping everyone’s mouth shut with duct tape she would do it. She hated people and hated anything that wasn’t an animal with a passion. There were moments where she was kind but it was very rare and kind of shocked us when she did do anything nice.
They were little demons together they got along in a weird way but it worked for them. They terrified us all easily. They had an IQ of 175 for Christ's sake. They were the scariest 10 year olds alive.
And folks I have the pleasure of being their oldest brother.
Sophie didn’t have her usual smile on which was already a bad sign. Sydney looked absolutely livid. Which may be usual but this was different. We had awoken the beasts and we were going to pay.
“What kind of stuff are you idiots up to and 5:30 in the morning?!” Sydney flared while Sophie gave us a look that wouldn’t kill but definitely send us 10 feet under alive.
Then a thought accrued to me. 5:30? Wasn’t it 6? I look back at the clock and see that it was in fact 5:35 in the morning. My glare instantly went to my brothers. This is worse than 6 and I was making my murder plan even more eccentric and horrifying.
Does anyone know where to get a goat?
“Honestly Syd it’s nothing,” Jordan replied with a wave of his hand, “you can go back to sleep.”
Sydney growled and I took a step back. My sheets didn’t only look inviting but looked like a great hiding spot too. Sophie took a step towards Jordan and he shrank just a little. “We would,” She said sourly, slowly leaning in. Her face was a couple inches away from his. She was almost hardly like this but when she was you knew that somewhere along the lines you fucked up. “But unfortunately,” she continued, “we have 4 loudmouth creatures we call brothers right next door to us. So it kind of dampens the mood.”
See I took offense to this. I was not a creature I was a guy that was just as pissed at his brothers as they were. I didn’t say this outloud because that was a bad idea but I did enjoy watching my brothers shrink the more they talked.
Sydney took a step towards Jordan and grabbed the water balloon out of his hand. She didn’t even react as she threw it at the desk we were partially surrounding effectively splashing all of us. We looked down at our wet clothes at back at the balloon.
“How in the world…?” Jack started but the twins slammed the door shut. We were silent. Then I said,
“Screw this I’m going back to sleep.”
When I woke up to my alarm I felt like I had gotten no sleep. I dragged my body out of bed and noticed that the brothers had left the room. I sighed in contempt as I slowly opened the door to go downstairs and eat my breakfast. When I got downstairs all of my siblings were pretty much ready to face the world. Let me remind you at 6:30 am either my family were aliens and I was the only normal one or they are early birds.
I kind of like the idea of them being aliens.
Jack wore a simple navy blue sweatshirt, black jeans and converse. His shaggy hair hid most of his eyes as usual and he was eating a muffin while scrolling through his phone.
Jordan wore a grey long sleeved shirt, blue skinny jeans, and a pair of vans. His hair was put up in a perfect way (he took the longest to get ready). He was eating a bowl of cereal while watching the TV front the table.
Joseph mimicked Jordan in wearing a dark colored T-shirt, cargo shorts and a pair of sneakers. He was also eating cereal but not really caring about the TV he just simply ate his cereal in peace smiling with every bite he took.
Sophie was wearing a light blue sweater, a white skirt and black and white high tops. Her hair was in a ponytail she had obviously gotten mom to straighten her hair as this family had either really wavy hair or curly hair. Sydney was wearing a light grey hoodie, jeans and simple All-stars. Her hair was down and in the pretty curls that usually decorated the Sands women. They were both eating leftover waffles and talking to each other.
The last three, 6 year-old Jayson, 4 year-old Jaylen, and 2 year-old James were basically wearing the same thing.
My mom walked in (Dad had already gone to work) she was tying her long brown hair into a bun. She wore the traditional scrubs of any nurse. My mom was something else. She was eight months pregnant but still had managed to not lose energy or anything. She was really smart and really pretty. Everyone in this family loves her. She worked all the time but somehow managed to make it to all the events. She was strong. I mean the woman was about to have her tenth child for crying out loud. Most women go to like four or five and are done. Mom wanted a huge family though and look what she got. Exactly what she wanted. She even managed through medical school with us. Amy Sands was something else. Looked great today too.
All my family members were looking decent and I looked like I had just crawled out of the dumpster and into the light for the first time.
“Hey kids,” she said as she finished her bun and started packing her lunch.
“Hey mom,” we all chorused. I grabbed a muffin and quickly stuffed my face with it.
“Jeez Jade did you even chew?” Mom said as she watched me eat. Yes, she had a nickname for all of us and only she could call us those nicknames
“Of course mom,” I replied sweetly with my mouth full of muffin. Her nose scrunched up in disgust. I swallowed and somehow my mom had gotten me a glass of milk to wash it down with. I smiled in gratitude and she rolled her eyes. I chugged the milk down and wiped my face.
“Alright, Sands family I have a meeting today so we need to be out the door at 7.” She said and the family nodded while my eyes widened. Mom gave me a smirk of knowing, “Chop chop Jade.”
I raced up the stairs and took my usual morning shower in 5 minutes. I ran a hand through my wet hair. I shrugged. Good enough. I then brushed my teeth. I ran into my room and grabbed the first shirt out of the dresser which was a red T-shirt. I then grabbed the first pair of jeans and put on my pair of converse. I grabbed my backpack and black hoodie and ran back downstairs tripping on the last couple of steps. I was done by 6:55.
“How was that mom?” I asked as she was holding the door open to the garage. She squinted her eyes at me and smiled.
“Could’ve done better.” She said, “shoot for seven minutes next time.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed the lunch money she was handing out.