Have you ever heard the saying ‘Be yourself’ or ‘dream big’...? Well whoever started those sayings, do you think they took the time in thinking to themselves ‘hm, would this affect a young ones mental state, with the fact that they may never be able to live up or do any of the stupid stuff we create in our words?’ And the answer to that is no… no they do not. Which, because of that ignorance when you hear these supposedly inspirational, yet unrealistic quotes, you think you have to be exactly that. Perfect.
That's how they all see me. Some perfect idol they expect to go beyond everything, some god, some King.
It's only because my parents are loaded, that's the only reason they all stick to me like parasites. They don't even get to know me. They just take and take and take till I break and even then they take some more. I know that it's selfish of me to whine, especially since I'm better off than some. It's just I didn't ask for it, I didn't ask for the fame or the money. I didn't ask for the fake friends or the gold diggers I'm surrounded by.
"Dude.. yo earth to Jay??"
Sure, I have everything as you can see, even a girlfriend. What more can a guy want? If only they all knew who I really was. A Bi guy with the biggest gay crush on the prettiest person at this school, Rillie. My girlfriend Lizzie is also a closeted gay. At least she had the guts to confess to Ana. They make a cute couple. We've been 'dating' since middle school, only to keep our rainbow hearts a secret. Liz is my best friend in the entire world, if anyone ever found out our secret. All hell would break loose.
I snapped back to reality as I turned to see a very angry Kie and his sidekick clipboard.
He fixed his glasses, staring daggers into my soul.
"Where have you been Jay?"
I thought for a moment
Nothing, tough crowd huh..
"Very funny, but just so you know, it sucks doing your job."
He tapped the clipboard in his hand angrily
"Well it's your fault I have this job in the first place, thank you very much"
In our school there's not a school council, but a hierarchy. People vote on who they want to be their class rulers out of the ones that signed up or were nominated for the part. Kie, knowing my status, signed me up without me knowing and guess who got picked. Me. I was chosen as the school's king, Lizzie is the Queen, and Kie is like my adviser.
"Look Jay I have already apologized, get over yourself, Just be ready for today, cause I left you with the hard decision"
Of course he did.
"You have to talk to the rest of the group about plans for homecoming, we still need a theme before next month.. and the Art club is begging for a meeting, again. Might as well call them the Fa-"
I gave him a glare before he finished that sentence
"Don't you dare start that again Kie, they are nice people and you have no right to call them that"
He gave a sigh and a glare back
"... of course your highness, anyway that's all you have for today, well really you only have time for one now, since you decided to disappear this morning, but let me make one thing clear, I'm not going to go with you to the
The bell rang signaling the start of Study Hall.
".. you have a choice Jay: homecoming planning or F@g Club? You only have this period for one of them only and you better show up for the homecoming planning, I'll meet you there.. unless you make the wrong choice of course"
He turned and headed toward the gym, I didn't have to think very hard as to where I was going. There was one thing that could settle where I went and that was the fact that the head of the Art club was none other than Rillie. I smiled to myself as I walked happily toward the Art room.
I knew Kie was gonna be pretty pissed, but I could care less. Maybe today is the day I finally talk to Rillie, like in a full conversation and not me saying hi or talking school business. I won’t mess up this time, I don’t want him to think I’m weird.
I fixed my hair as I got to the Art room.
“Well if it isn’t the school’s King, welcome to the F@g club your highness”
I turned to see Rillie heading over, to unlock the door. A few of the Art club members walked with him.
“Oh uh, I’m guessing Kie talked to you?”
He gave a sassy look
“What do you think?”
Now I felt bad, Kie can really be a homophobic brat when he wants too.
“I’m so sorry, I’ve been trying to stop him, but he doesn’t ever listen”
He sighed and motioned toward the now open door.
“I’m kinda surprised you showed up here, isn’t there supposed to be another meeting, with far more important people?”
Well really the whole council will be there: the planning committee, Kie, Lizzie, and the teacher that helps with the budgeting for the decorations needed and stuff like that I think.
“Well I think I’d rather be here, everyone is far nicer. It’s also really nice to see you Rillie- I mean I know you only know me as the King and probably hate me but I’ve always noticed you— uhhh! But I’m not trying to sound creepy or anything, I just think you look nice… I like your style. I mean, it really suits you..”
Shut. Up. You idiot! I felt my face go completely red. And he looked highly confused and amused at the same time. Is that a good thing. I feel like running into the hallway now. Me and my stupid mouth. There goes the whole ‘ imma have a conversation with him’ please. I can’t act cool around him without getting flustered, it’s embarrassing. so much for trying to make him think I’m not weird.
“… uhhh, well anyway, we should probably get to business, so what’s the Art Club need? And how can I help?”
I tried my best to not seem nervous, but I’m pretty sure I was failing. Shit.
“You're cute. Well all the Art club needs is new supplies, we’re running short and there’s supposed to be an Art show coming up in a few months.”
I nodded my head, trying to think of teachers that could consider sponsoring them. Wait. Did he just call me cute…
No! Focus! Be gay later Jay!
“Well, I- uh.. I could ask around and see if any teachers would consider sponsoring the club, they might listen to me at least”
He grabbed my hands excitedly
“Thank you so much! That could definitely help us!”
He's so cute! be still my beating heart!!
Now that I look at him though, he looks really, like really really fucking cute.
His hair is black with a lavender looking color on the tips. He has beautiful indigo colored eyes and light brown freckles sprinkling his pinkish-pale face. He wore his yellow turtleneck sweater, and medium length brown skirt, it had a cute little flower design at the bottom and of course he wore his usual yellow and white combat boots that he painted a little pride flag on the sides of both of them.
He is beautiful. And I’m in Love with him. Have been since middle school. The only problem is that to everyone I know, like to my friends and to my family. I’m not supposed to love someone like him.
And that breaks my heart.