Sungjoon put his hand against his chest. Patting it three times, trying to convince himself to calm down.
"Should we kiss?"
"Huh?" Sungjoon, coughing lightly on his own breath in response. His fingers picked at the edge of his fluffy blue sweater. Namgung had stopped by, and when he had opened his front door without warning. Practically bursting inside. Sungjoon had spilled coffee on the shirt, and now the stain had almost certainly set into the fluffy wool. His eyes lingered on it. Afraid to look up and into the eyes of the person who was so close.
‘Namgung,you are stopping by to say goodbye before you leave, and go to Uni in Seoul. Why are you asking me this now? Is that your worry Sungjoon? Why is he asking it now? Not, why is he asking it at all?'
'His heart ached at the thought of Namgung leaving. This would be their first time apart in their entire lives. He had been wondering if Namgung felt as scared and nervous as he did.' But he hadn't been left to wonder long. Namgung had unlocked his door and burst in on him, frantically.
'What was wrong?' Was his first thought. But he didn't have to wonder that for more than a second before Namgung had asked him to kiss.
'Namgung, kiss me?'
"Should we kiss?" Namgung asked again. His hand reached up and brushed the little bit of hair that had dropped into Sungjoon's eyes. Sungjoon leaned into it without thinking.
This was his best friend. This was his family. The person who was there for him through everything.
It was a normal touch. One, he was more than used to by now. And yet this one felt different. It made his ears ring and his palms go sweaty. He could feel the taste buds on the tip of his tongue, dried out like they had never received water before. He swallowed.
Namgung's free hand-rolled his suitcase back and forth lazily. It barely moved, but Sungjoon supposed it gave Namgung something to do with his nervous energy. While Sungjoon stared blankly like an idiot instead of responding.
'We are best friends. won't this screw something up? What if this screws something up? Can it even screw something up? We love each other... Yeah, like friends... No, not really.' Sunjoon thought about it. Their bond had been something more for a long time now.
But there had never been words put on it. 'I love you. I love you with all my heart.' It was this unspoken vow between the two of them. Like a soul link that tied them together without either one of them minding it was there. It just keeps them together, their time filled with happiness, and love.
But they had never put a title on it.
They were friends... More than friends. Always.
"I like you, Sungjoon. Should we see if there is something between us?"
"Something between us." He repeated, stupidly.
"Mhmm, do you want to see if we can copy the sky?"
"Copy the sky?" Sungjoon realised he was copying everything like an idiot.
"Mm, let's see if we can see stars? Do you want to try?"
Sungjoon nodded, unable to get the words out around his wildly beating heart. Namgung's hand fell on top of his own, stopping the tapping that he had started on his chest to calm down. Yet, which had at some point started to speed up almost frantically.
"Calm down. It's not going to hurt." Namgung said, a charming smile breaking his face into the happy ease Sungjoon was familiar with.
He nodded. 'It's my first kiss... My first kiss is with Namgung?'
'That thought should have made him feel something crazy, maybe a sense of panic, or uncomfortableness, right? But why did that thought warm his heart so much? Why did it make his blood rush to a million different places? But most of all, why did it excite him so?'
He thought he would have more warning.
He had figured his first kiss would be like a scene out of a drama on tv. Maybe in a field. In the rain. At school, a theatre, somewhere really nice.
But the feeling of dry lips pressing against his own in the middle of his bedroom, while he sat on his sheetless bed in his underwear and blue sweater with a stain, was not how he thought it was going to play out.
But Namgung's lips didn't stay dry for long. The next time he opened them up Namgung's tongue slipped expertly inside and flicked in, grabbing some of that warmth before ducking back inside his own mouth. Drawing with it the wetness his lips needed, and their saliva mixed like a lip balm. Soaking in and freshening the room with sounds he had only ever heard on tv.
It sounded so loud to his ears, and he felt that warm heat spreading even further. An ache in his pants throbbed, matching Namgung's growingly greedy kisses.
It was his first kiss, but it wasn't short and sweet. He didn't break apart and stare at him lovingly. Sungjoon half expected it to happen.
But the kiss kept going, every small break brought back together, and he had no choice but to breathe through the heavy kiss.
Namgung's moan finally made Sungjoon snap out of it, and he pushed Namgung gently.
Namgung broke apart from him, and the absolutely gobsmacked and crestfallen look on his face said it all.
'That was amazing. There was something between them. Namgung had said he wanted to know if that was the case.' Sungjoon shivered with excitement.
"Sungjoon," Namgung called his name, breaking the tension that had grown between them.
"We made the sky together."
Sungjoon nodded, and looked down at his leg, playing with the edge of his boxers, self-consciously rubbing his fingers against the satin.
'It was cheesy, it was corny and made his skin get goosebumps, but it was how he felt after all.'
"Should we kiss?" Namgung asked.
Sungjoon looked back up, but he didn't have any time to answer, the sound of Namgung's suitcase hitting the floor rang through his head, and before he could even look to see what happened. Namgung was pushing him down and climbing atop him.
Those lips found him again, sweet and wet, and as Namgung pushed him down to the bed, pulling at Sungjoon's clothes, all Sungjoon could think of was.
'Ah, I'm screwed... I think I fell for my best friend.'