“I’m not necessarily a morning person, just like the rest of the god damn population, but I tend to wake up around 4 am; in order to a get slight chance of being ahead of the world.” - Sideon
Oct 31st, 2xxx
Phil the Mystical Fear Factor, I hope I never meet him. Not that I’m scared or anything, it’s just that I don’t care for introducing myself to new people or things. I absolutely hate when someone tries to ease their way into my life. What’s the point? It’s not like we’re going to be friends forever. But Phil meets lots of friends, well it depends if sucking the fear of someone is a friendly trait to have. Hell if I know.
Nov 14th, 2xxx
I kinda have this urging need to tell you guys who I am, but then that defeats the whole purpose of the “I hate introducing myself” thing. As you can tell, I’m a liar. What a wonderful thing to be. My name is Sideon; full name is Posideon Alexander. But I don’t deserve to be called Posideon, there’s not a holy or godly thing about me. I’ve been 19 for roughly 2 weeks and all I can conclude is that life is just as miserable but now I have more baggage. If you think about about it, baggage is such a shitty thing to carry, especially if it’s full of shit. Great.
Nov 16th, 2xxx
Halloween was like weeks ago, but I feel like this should be addressed. Halloween is a peculiar holiday not because it’s praise to the dark lord day or coincidentally my birthday but I always end up seeing the same person. No matter where I am or where I go; I look up into the horizon and I see them looking through me. It’s such a naked feeling. I’m not as creeped out as I am curious, maybe it’s because they’re relatively attractive from what I can tell. Beautiful people have it so easy. I would feel different if he was an old man with arid wrinkled skin and gingivitis. But the man who always finds me is tall and has this beautiful dark brown skin, shiny black curls, and these radiant green eyes that swallow you up with no remorse. After I turned 18, he shows up more and not just on halloween like the previous years. He’s always in the places that no one bothers to look. As if he only wants me to notice him. What a weird thing to want from a person like me.
Nov 17th, 2xxx
Phil or Phillip is a supernatural creature similar to the ones you hear about in creepypasta or those scary story books from grade school. I personally don’t think he exist, but Phil feeds off of people’s fear, like that’s tasty. So if you’re a scary bitch, good luck. I’m not quite sure if sucking the fear out of someone causes death, if anything it should be rewarding to no longer be scared of things. Wish I could relate. I don’t like announcing my internal fears by name, it’s bad blood.
Nov 22th, 2xxx
“See, I’d rather die at my fullest. Poor, but free to roam. Cause I watched your endless intermission, an actor trapped in mediocrity. I am not who you were at 19, I’m sorry I’m not the man you want me to be. I am not a warrior, I am fragile and I am weak. I am not you, I’m barely me. Someday I hope to make it clear to you”
That was the last thing I said to my dad at the table in front of family before I packed my bags and left. My mother always told me to tread lightly and not to step on his toes, but I am not my father’s son. (Movements ‘Nineteen’)
Nov 23rd. 2xxx
Thanksgiving either brings family together or tears them apart. Guess who always gets the wrong end of the stick?
Nov 24th, 2xxx
The only thing I’m thankful for, is being able to take care of myself, luckily I’ve been doing it for 13 years. Parents are useless.
Nov 26th, 2xxx
I finally found a place to stay permanently. It’s not too far from my job, and if I decide to go to school again, I’m close to that too. I miss my sister. Sorry I’m such a shitty brother, Skylar.
Dec 1st, 2xxx
I woke up crying, and now I’m dehydrated. I don’t like sleeping because of my dreams and I hate being awake because of my life. This is nothing but an endless cycle of disappointment. I’m a fucking mess. All of my demons have come to life. They’re the only things left by my side. (Movements ‘Losing Fight’)
“ I became the person I always hated and there’s nothing I can do to change myself. Time is such a fabricated thing” - Sideon
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