Everything that comes together falls apart- Zen (Looking for Alaska by John Green)

“Hey! Watch it!”

“No running in the corridors!”

“Ma’am, you need to stop,” came a voice from behind me. I ran. I kept running at full speed down the hallway without excusing myself and with zero sense of my surrounding.

“I’m calling security,” one voice said after I ran into a lady as I turned the corner and left her helplessly picking up the papers that were scattered across the linoleum floor.

My heart was racing and no one could see the tears that stained my cheeks. My waterproof mascara kept my eyes looking bright but nothing could change the fact that I’d barely slept a wink so, I simply kept running to Room 217. I didn’t look back even when two security guards got off the elevator on my right and yelled for me to stop. The floor colour changed to aqua and I knew I was nearly there, just the next corner. I burst into the room missing the guards grabbing hands with mere inches and went straight to the bedside.

“You promised to hold on!” I burst out in tears as my tiny fists pounded his chest. “You promised to fight!”

“Kathleen, I think you should say goodbye,” said Doctor Patel as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Why did you agree to it?” I asked getting up and throwing my fists at him. I was a snotty teary mess and I did not give one shit!

“Kathleen!” He snapped at me, grabbing my hands and snapping me out of my madness. From the corner of my eye, I could see the guards stand awkwardly by the door. “He doesn’t have much time. So, please...” He glanced towards the bed.

I could read the deep concern and torture in his brown eyes. What was I doing yelling at the one person who’d stuck by me the whole time? He motioned for the guards to leave and stood by the door, giving me a bit of 'privacy'.

“Todd,” I said my voice dry and crackly. “Sweet pea, let me see your beautiful smile.” He opened his eyes tiredly and searched for mine like he always did. I could tell he was doing all he could to keep them open. “Why?” I asked, tears dropping down my face effortlessly.

“Stop crying,” he whispered. “Now you’re free, Wild Bird.”

“Todd!!!” I screamed right after he smiled his lopsided grin and his eyes shut. "Todd...freaking fight!" I buried my face in his chest and cried my eyes sore.

“Kathleen, he’s gone...” Doctor Patel’s final words plunged me deeper into misery and when two nurses walked in to finally take him away, I grew hysterical.

“Please! He’s still alive...Doctor Patel, tell them!” I cried grabbing hold of the bed rails.

“You need to calm down, somehow, for we need to move his body to the morgue,” he said taking hold of my arms and yanking them off the rails.

“NO!” I frantically reached for the rails again and saw the horror in the nurses’ eyes as Doctor Patel struggled to keep me put. I felt something prick me on the shoulder and instantly got drowsy.

“I've given you a sedative to help you calm down,” I heard him say from miles away. "It's going to be okay Kathleen..."

“Todd...”