I put my phone away as I quickly pulled my verging on starting to fall apart boots on, grabbed my keys and in dire-need of replacing gloves before rushing out of the apartment, Dad and I live in Arcata, California, super northern area on the coast. It’s a cooler area, we don’t get snow or anything: heavy frost and maybe seeing something akin to snow in the forest past the north-side of town, but…nothing really that close to that, it is without a doubt cold enough to be able to see your breathe late into the morning, but on the flipside, summer temperatures never get really past the mid-sixties. My breathe fogged heavily because of the extremely early hour, my bike’s chain loudly rattling because of how out of date it was as I had to kick the pedals a few times to get it to start moving again: it was caked in rust, grime and dirt, but it was what I have because it too was old…well, I can’t afford to keep it maintained, I barely could afford a new tire for it a few months ago and was starting to think about rummaging around the junkyard for a new one. I quickly got onto my bike as I started riding off towards work to spend the day: dawn to dusk, slaving away in the warehouse. Instantly having to rush from the door after clocking in to start hefting up heavy boxes of various goods and things as I took them to where they needed to go; not even a chance to grab something for breakfast from the breakroom or anything of that sort…I barely even had dinner last night. The clop of my boots against the glazed concrete floor mixed with the sound of my various coworkers and the mixed beeps and wheeled sounds of the various hand carts, fork lifts and things. The smell of cardboard, dust and the various cleaners used about the huge warehouse stinging my nose too early in the morning, the bright florescent light burning into my still dark focused eyes, everything like that…my body was just still wanting to be asleep, to be in the dark and not already burning so, so many calories I don’t have by rather violent manual labor.
My boss was…not happy to hear that I got accepted to a college and that I may be leaving, he also thought I was making a joke, that no college would accept me or anything of that sort. After he was done laughing at me and he realized I was serious, he just laughed harder: resting a hand on the corner of his desk as he was entirely leaned over as he fully belly laughed to the point he was tearing up and I thought he might get sick once or twice, I just went back to work and closed the door to his office behind me, though it didn’t muffle the sound through the plywood door and the window into the office still showed him dying of laughter at the idea of me going to school. After my first seven hour shift, I quickly made my way about an hour across town before clocking into my second job for my next seven hour shift, Dad already knew I had work today, so he was expecting me to leave soon after we were talking, but he does not really like that I work, wishing me to stay at the apartment to ensure that he can keep an eye on me.
“Something wrong, Kain?” One of my few work-friends asked as she leaned on the kitchen counter, my second job is being a dish-washer: poor pay, near 100 degree kitchen, kitchen staff have the worst language possible, the average conversation at the warehouse is cleaner than the kitchen staff and all of the usual dangers of being in a kitchen: hot liquids, sharp things and things of those sort being moved at rapid speed and in sharp, random movements as people yelled corner while turning around one or hot behind while carrying something heavy or hot just to get people out of the way, but hey they give me dinner and they’re one of the few places that I can still keep the job with my crazy schedule.
“Nothing, just…I got a letter from a college today.”
“Oh, congrats, I didn’t know you were looking at college” she said, smiling, she was the head-chef of the place.
“That’s the thing…I wasn’t. My Mom went there and because of her, they like sought me out and are nearly demanding I attend.” I said laughing softly,
“Wow, they must really want you there.”
“But my grades aren’t good, I never did anything to set myself apart, I…didn’t do anything that would make a college want me to attend, but they are giving me full ride, purely because my Mom graduated from there.”
“Still, you should be flattered.”
“I am…I really, really want to go, but…”
“Your dad?”
“Yeah”
“Good luck” she said with a laugh,
“I know, I know’
It was really late when I eventually got home, my legs numb from standing the entirety of my shifts and the bike riding, I had to grip the railing till my knuckles were white when I walked up the stairs up towards the apartment, the exhaustion of work the familiar weight pulling my limbs making my head feel fuzzy with exhaustion, I had to grip the rails as tightly as possible to keep myself from collapsing on the outdoor staircase and falling asleep right there on the stairwell. I unlocked all of the various locks before I walked back into the house, turning all of the locks back into the locked position, the thrum of the radiator was low and steady, though occasionally would ping and would more often than not click off due to how in need of repair it was, all of the lights were off either because Dad turned them off or because the power has been finally turned off. I could hear Dad still snoring sounding like someone threw a fork in a garbage disposal, he…needs the sleep. Through the dark it was a bit easier to navigate because of the fact the apartment is so impossibly sparce in terms of furniture or various items in the house, there was nothing to bump into, nothing to trip over or anything like that. I stumbled into my room before collapsing on my bed, still in my regular clothing and my boots still on my feet, but nearly too exhausted to take my boots off, let alone shower and change out of my regular clothing.
When I eventually woke up the next morning, still in the clothes I worked in yesterday, Dad was gone and the coffee pot was half-empty already despite the fact it was about half an’ hour past dawn, Dad…really should swap to decaf with his paranoia, those…lethal levels of caffeine probably don’t help him, they probably hinder him more so, plus all of that mixed with the alcohol and nicotine…can’t be healthy. I bit the bullet to get through a shower, the early hour plus the fact it’s…been a little sense we’ve been able to pay the bills, the water might as well have been sleet with how it burned, bit and tore into my skin as I cleaned myself off, but the exhaustion of work was purged from my body, though…I want nothing more than to go back to sleep. I dried off as quickly as possible as I changed before I rifled through my things for a piece of paper and quickly wrote a long note along it and left it on the kitchen table for when Dad gets home as I got my things together and quickly got back outside and down the stairs with my bike on my shoulder.
“Oh, Kain!” A kind voice said, I looked over to where Mister Leo was, standing at the garden of the apartment’s parking lot with his adorable old-as-fuck once-white now gray toy poodle on a rhinestone pink leash, he still had electric orange bunny slippers on, flamingo print pajamas and a Christmas patterned terry-cloth robe, long white hair down his back, long beard, spectacles down his nose and kind of looking like Santa if Santa retired to somewhere in Florida after some kind of bender despite the fact we’re in upstate California.
“Hi, Mister Leo…I meant to ask you, did you…write me a letter of recommendation to Paradise Academy?” I asked, he laughed and smiled, pine green eyes sparkling with either the light of mad-man or a genius, he also had…way too nice of teeth for someone his age. The man is spry for his age of probably something like ten-thousand, man probably owes Moses a few dollars or something.
“Of course, I did…you have done…so much for your Dad and for yourself after what happened to you Mom. You deserve a good education even if a lot of people don’t think you do. I know that with their teaching…you’ll do fantastic things.”
“Did…did you attend?”
“I did” he said with a soft nod and a little bolstered by being able to recall his time, “The school may be close…a bit closer to San Fran than it is to us, but…they take students from all over the U.S…world actually, there are usually a handful of overseas students from…extremely special families or whom fit their criteria…their selection process is…very, very selective for whom attends. When your Mom and Dad moved here because of your Mom’s work, it was…so refreshing to hear that another alumni of my school was here.”
“She…didn’t talk about the school at all.”
“It is…hard for some people to understand: a school that cares for the student’s health as much as they do the teaching, foreign concept here in the U.S, but…still. You’ll do incredible things when you attend.”
“Only problem is Dad.”
“Yes, that would pose a problem…I’ll keep an eye out for when he gets back from work, I’ll…try to talk some sense into him.”
“Thank you, Mister Leo. And…if you could get him something decent to eat, Dad’s…probably been living on coffee, cigarettes and alcohol the past few days” I said, looking towards my feet with the last part. A meaty warm hand on my shoulder made me look up towards that…so comforting face of Mister Leo, the man is beloved by the neighborhood, he’s always doing whatever possible to help everyone and anything. The man builds little shelters for the various wild animals out in the forest out of the old pallets from the rail-yard and whatever blankets, pillows and things he gets from thrift stores or the salvation army that they deem as too worn to reuse.
“Anytime, Kain. I’ll talk to your dad, usually good food helps convince him of things.” He said with a smile and almost a glitter in his eyes and a firm grip on my shoulder before a soft pat on my head, “Come on, Biscotto.” He said as he turned and his almost entirely toothless poodle with a pristine hot pink glittery manicure walked alongside him back over to his apartment as I rode off. I sighed as the quiet of the later dawn was only accented by the rattle of my bike chain, the crisp spring air causing my breath to fog, the early morning birds and the songs of crickets married with the distant drone of train whistles and bells from the fact we’re still a very bustling railyard town.
I really…really want to go. I’ve barely been able to think about anything else other than…that I just need to go. I want to be just…my age for once: I’ve had to be an adult sense I was a kid because of what happened with Mom, I’ve…probably missed a lot of my youth and there are somethings I wish that I had been able to experience: I never went to any dances, never went on any dates, never went out late with friends to do all sorts of fun things…it was just work, school, sleep, repeat…over and over…and over. The stress made me drop weight like dropping flies because I couldn’t keep anything down, I was having night terrors that turned me into an insomniac…it was just…intoxicating to think I may be able to go somewhere I can just…forget about all that: a break, some relief form the stress and all; who wouldn’t want that. I just have to convince Dad that it is safe for me to attend and that I don’t just want to go…that I Need To Attend.
“I wish I can go to that school.” I said quietly, my eyes forward on the extremely empty road and watching where I was going leading me to not notice the fact that as I said that; my hands softly glowed golden and warmth seemed to radiate through my body making a sense of resolve sit in my heart and a strange…confidence rise up in my stomach as I thought, “There’s nothing that’s going to not let me attend.”
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