Below are pronunciations of names and terms in this chapter:

Naloli-Ner-lo-lee kyangonde name

Nsima-nsee-mer is a thick porridge made from maize flour. It is eaten with relish such as stewed meat, vegatables and fish.

Usipa- oo-see-per is silver small fish.

Tasokwa-Ter-so-qua tumbuka name meaning we have lost.

Talilo- Ter-lee-lo shona name meaning faith. Shona is a language spoken in Zimbabwe. It is also spelt as Tariro.

Vilelani- Vee-lay-ler-nee lhomwe name. Lhomwe is a language spoken in Malawi and Mozambique.

Mzengeli-Mee-zay(pronounced as single syllable)-ngay-lee tumbuka word for hunter.

Chapter 7

Naloli

Ipyana was the easy and friendly child. She quickly adapted to Kaulimi. She was the light of my heart. She was always cheerful and always positive. Seeing her this way broke me inside.

A loud scream tore through the silence. I awoke startled and looked at Ipyana. She was breathing heavily and I could see sweat sliding down her ebony skin.

“Are you okay?” I asked climbing into her bed. Her breaths were rapid. Her body trembled at my touch.

She looked at me… terror shone in her eyes. The door opened with Salifya standing there with a solar blaster in her hand. “What happened?” She asked.

“I think she had a bad dream.” I said.

Chikondano entered. “I thought someone had broken in.”

“What’s going on?” Anganile asked when she entered.

“She just had a bad dream.” I told them.

Chikondano left.

Anganile pointed at Sali’s solar blaster. “Put that away.”

Salifya left the room.

“Are you alright?” I said gently to Ipyana.

Ipyana’s breathing had slowed down. “I’m okay.”

Anganile sat on Ipy’s bed. “What did you dream?”

Ipyana breathed in. She folded her knees together pressing them against her chest. “That…they had removed my limbs and gave me cybernetic limbs.” Her voice was breathless. Her tears flowed slowly down her face.

“You are safe now.” I said rubbing her back. Her chest heaved forward and back with every breath she took. She covered her face with her palms. Tears leaked out of her fingers.

Anganile placed her hand on Ipyana’s thigh and she soothed it as she kept repeating “You are safe.” At the door, I saw Salifya standing just looking.

“Bring me tissue. Her nose is runny.” I said glancing up at Salifya. Salifya rushed out of the room like a dog being chased. She returned with the tissue, walking slowly in like a shy child. Anganile gave her a glare as she received the tissue. Ipyana calmed down ten minutes after waking up. She slept all morning past breakfast. She would have slept past lunch too if Anganile hadn’t woken her.

“Maybe she needs her rest.” I argued.

“She has been resting all morning,” Anganile responded. She was already making her way towards our bedroom door.

I followed her. “She has been through a trauma.”

“Yes. But sleeping like this is not healthy,” and with that she woke her up.

Ipyana guzzled the nsima, thick pap made from maize flour, and usipa, small silver fish. She finished two moulds of nsima in a matter of minutes. I tried not to stare.

“Ipyana, were you not eating?” Anganile Kyara asked after she had downed four bananas.

“They would give us pills that contained all of our dietary needs.” She said quietly.

“What?!” Anganile exclaimed.

“I just missed the taste of food so much.”

Anganile placed her hand on Ipy’s arm, “Eat as much as you like, sweetie.”

“And there is more food in the fridge.” Chikondano said.

“And if there any food that you want that’s not here we can always go get it.” Salifya said.

“Go with you? So that you can abandon me again.” Ipyana responded coldly. She got up and left the table before Salifya could reply.

“You deserved that.” Anganile sniggered.

“I’m going for a walk.” Salifya announced as she got up.

I found Ipyana asleep again when I went into the room. Must I wake her? But even if I did what would I say to her? Maybe it was better she slept, so we all did not have to face the horrors she went through at the HM facility.

“I wonder what she has been through.” Anga said. Her head was resting bed room’s wall and her hand was on her protruding belly.

“Pills for food?” I shook my head. “Even our prisoners get better treatment than that.”

“Why do they think it’s okay to treat fellow humans this way?”

Bitterness filled my mouth as I released these words, “Because they are Akafula.”

She wrapped her arms around her belly and glanced down at it. “What sort of world am I bringing you into?”

“I’m just glad she is safe and unmodified.” I said. “When she wakes up I’m taking her to a doctor so he can a do full work up and an MRI to see if she has any broken bones.”

“You seem fine. No infections, no broken bones.” The doctor said. “But I found something in the MRI. It was on the beneath the surface of your skin. I want to make an incision and remove it, with you permission?”

Ipyana nodded her consent. The doctor told her to go lie down on the bed near his desk. She pressed a syringe full of anaesthetic into her wrists. I watched, with angst, as she cut into her left arm bicep and removed a nano-device the size of a strand of hair. She placed it in a sealed plastic bag.Then sprayed mono-septic where she had made the incision.

“Give it to me.” I said. “I want to find out what it is.”

She passed me the bag.

“Thank you. Have a good night doctor.” I said.

“You will take to Aunty Tasokwa, wont you?” Ipyana asked once we left the doctor’s office.

I nodded. Tasokwa was a nano-device specialist.

“When will you take it to her?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Of course,” I smiled. We walked out of the hospital into the parking lot.

When we got back from the doctor’s visit, I thought that Ipyana would sleep before dinner. She did not.

“Ama, could I have the room?” she asked timidly. “I have a group therapy vibe session in a few minutes.”

“Of course.” I left. The door to our room shut behind me. I wish I could have stayed. A part of me wanted to know what had happened to her but a part of me was afraid and did not want to know what horrors my baby had gone through.

“I’m just glad it’s over.” Ipyana concluded. I looked around at Vilelani then Talilo; they both had the shocked horrified look we had when Ipyana told us what went on at the HM facilities.

“When you hadn’t replied my texts I started panicking. I texted Tali to find out if you had texted her and she told me you had not. I knew something was wrong.” Vilelani explained.

“Even your Mother did not know where you were.” Talilo said. “We were all really worried. We have been praying that you would come home alive and well.” Her voice started to crack. “It’s just horrible what you went through.” Talilo was now sobbing. Vilelani put her hand on Tali’s back and moved it up and down.

“We all feel how you feel Tali. We are all filled with horror.” I said. My fingers interlocked around my knees.

“I’m here now.”

“We thank God for that.” Vilelani smiled still holding Talilo close.

Anganile walked into the living room. “Ama…can I speak to you.” She said. I followed her into the corridor.

“You will sleep in the room Salifya’s is in, so the girls can sleep in Ipyana’s room.” Anganile said.

“That’s okay with me.” I replied. But it was not. I was worried that Ipyana would get up in the middle of the night and I would not be there to comfort her.

After spending two days with us, the two girls returned to Kaulimi. I returned back to my room. I watched her sleep, her body tossed and turned a lot. What had my baby been through? Her scream startled me, it wasn’t as loud this time.

“What is it?” I said rushing to her bed. Her body was trembling. Sweat rushed down her face. Her breaths were quick.

“I had a nightmare.” Her voice was shaky. Salifya walked into the room.

“You heard that?” I asked.

“I’m a light sleeper.” She said. You mean you were trained to be a light sleeper, I thought.

“Are you okay?” I said placing my arm around Ipyana’s shoulders.

“No.” She sobbed.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I…I.” her sobs drowned her words completely.

I soothed the palms of my hand against her back and kept repeating ‘It’s okay’. I did not believe what I was saying. What was okay? Yes she had been returned to us safely but broken. I looked up at Salifya. She looked uncomfortable. Ipyana told us they were forced to fight other captives. That captives who lost two fights were killed in grotesque shows ran by a lunatic. Her voice grew inaudible, after sometime she told us she won a fight against someone who had already lost a fight. And that the woman was killed. “I feel guilty.”

“It was you or her.” Sali said, sitting down at the edge of Ipy’s bed. “Don’t feel bad.”

“I understand why you would be upset. But remember you were forced to make that choice. Now you are safe. You won’t have to make that choice again.” I said.

Was it over? The team of scientists stitched up her wounds and fractures but the emotional wounds were still there. They were bleeding.

“I keep seeing Limbani’s face and his morbid shows.”

I searched Limbani on the Aka-rebel database. I found that he had been killed in the rescue operation that brought Ipy home. I told Ipy this.

“Thank God. The world is better off without that fruit cake.” She said.

I chuckled as I slung my bag onto my shoulders. “Let’s go meet Tasokwa.”

Any parent’s hope was that their child would never have to meet someone as twisted as Limbani. Not only had she met him but she had almost died at his hands. OH God.

We both exited my pod and made our way into the large building Tasokwa worked at. She worked for a company that created devices to manage chronic illnesses such as asthma, diabetes and others. Her office was a large lab. Tasokwa got up from her stool as soon as she saw me.

“Long time, no speak sister.” I said hugging her. We embraced for a moment then let each other go.

Tasokwa walked up to Ipyana. “Eh Eh is this Ipyana,” Tasokwa put her arms around Ipy. “How you have grown.”

Ipyana smiled shyly and pushed a few of her twists behind her ear after Tasokwa had released her.

“How is Kaulimi treating you?” She asked as she led us to the part of the lab that had sofas and a table.

“It’s alright.” I smiled. Ipy and I sat down on one sofa, she sat down across from us. “How are the Cities?”

“They are alright.” She retorted. Her gaze turned to Ipyana. “What are you doing now?”

“I am preparing to apply to Universities.” Ipyana responded.

“What do you want to study?”

“History.”

“Eh! Naloli,” Tasokwa crowed. “You’ve lost them all. The other is in accounting, the other in law enforcement and now this one wants to do history.”

“I tell you. I don’t know what I did wrong.” I chuckled. “Nobody wants to go into computer science.”

Tasokwa laughed. I noticed that my baby did not laugh.

“Like I said on the phone. I’m here on a serious matter.” I said. I told her how Ipyana was kidnapped and taken to a HM facility. Then I showed the device they found inside her. She put on ruber gloves and put on glasses then looked at it closely.

“This is very advanced tech.” She stated. She pulled her up sleeves. Her arm had three circles all of enso.

“Why this?” I remember asking Tasokwa before the Kuzyambula ritual. The last ritual of initiation.

“It’s a Japanese symbol for imperfection.” She replied, lying down on our living room couch.

During the Kuzyambula every initiate stated the meaning of their tattoo. The three cycles we all knew represented interdependence, sisterhood and love. We all stated this, then said what the contents of the circles represented.

“It represents the imperfection of humanity.” Tasokwa said.

“I will take a close look at it. I will tell you what I find by tomorrow.” Tasokwa said. Her eyes dancing with excitement. That was Tasokwa. I almost felt bad for bringing her into all of this. Tasokwa was a conspiracy theorist.

“Everyone thinks that AIDS was eliminated through the prevention of transmission and the AIDS cure.” She said her voice lowered and passionate. “That’s a lie the government tells us. The truth is, they killed off all of the aids patients.”

My eyes were still on the large screen in front of me. “Tasokwa that’s crazy.”

“Loli! There is proof.” She sounded even more excited now. I cast my gaze sideways to her desk. Her eyes were glimmering with excitement.

“We need to focus on work.” I said. She sighed and turned her gaze to her monitor.

Tasokwa and I both went to Kaulimi in our late twenties. Older than most of the refugees. Like everyone we wanted to leave what was in the outside world in the outside world. We got a house together in southern Kaulimi near the border with Nyika. And built a life there.

I got carried away reminiscing with Tasokwa. I could see Ipyana was getting impatient. I told her to go wait in the pod.

“How is she?” Tasokwa asked after Ipyana had left us.

“I think she is suffering from PSTD. She sleeps for most of the day and they’ve been nightmares.” Tasokwa nodded her head slowly. “She seems depressed. She doesn’t talk as much.”

“She has been through a lot.”

“It’s Salifya’s fault. She did not have to go through this.” I fumed. “My Ipyana is gone. I don’t know if I will ever get her back.” A tear rode down my cheek. “It is difficult for me to watch her suffer like this. I feel so powerless. If could I would take all her pain on me.”

Tasokwa got up from her couch and sat next to me putting her arm on my shoulder.

I sniffed and wiped my tears. “She doesn’t deserve this.”

Tasokwa placed me in her embrace. “It will be okay. I will be praying for both of you.”

I whispered my gratitude at this.

“You got retattooed?” I asked pointing at her arm. The corridor was full of people rushing different directions I had to raise my voice and repeat my question.

“Yes I did. I did not think I would when I left Kaulimi. But with time I remembered the good things about it.”

“That’s good. Maybe one day you will return home.” I smiled. She just chuckled.

“Why did Aunty Tasokwa leave Kaulimi?”Ipyana asked as soon as I got into the pod.