Alfarr stalked towards me with Tok and Snorri in a tow. Snorri gave me a little wave and grin and I waved back. Tok hawked a big one and spat onto the ground. His saliva burned through the snow and I could hear it sizzle in the dirt. Alfarr tossed his overly long black hair back and did a kind of pose. I thought I’d already lost my stomach but apparently I’d found it while I wasn’t looking because it just sank back down again to flop between my feet. Alfarr’s ridiculous posing of his overly muscular physique and overly handsome general self only happened when Eydis was around. I looked behind them and saw her crystalline forest eyes shining out from the shadows she was hidden in, burning hair muted but never dulled by the lack of sunlight playing through her hair-

A blow to the stomach quite quickly turned my attention back to reality. “Gaawwwch.” I proclaimed. Alfar stooped down, one leg pointed and bending from the waist, and scooped up Villai’s axe. I scrambled to my feet, dizzy. “W-wait! I need that!” I cried. I reached forwards and tried to take Villai’s weapon back. His fist crushed my wrist and he easily lifted me into the air. “Calm down, pipsqueak.” he drawled.

Really? That name again? Couldn’t you use a new name, something like, uh, small-person? Hm. No, I guess pipsqueak is fine.

He flipped Villai’s axe a few times, getting the feel. “Why would you be needing an axe, runt?” he sneered.

Well, I may be a runt but I am one lips of an ogre cute fox ,if I may say so myself, and I do. But seriously. “I mean, look at it and look at you! You can barely even lift-” I cut him off. “Give it back, Alfarr. It’s Villai’s. I need to give it to him for his coming of age ceremony tomorrow.” I pleaded. Alfarr threw back his head, puffing his chest out and laughing. He lifted me a little higher and I could see Eydis.

She was cleaning her nails with a knife, not paying attention to us.

Alfarr’s eyes tightened.

Oooh, foot itches.

“Eydis!” he called. She deigned to acknowledge his presence by looking up at his yell. He smiled wide, perfect teeth bared. He started walking towards her with me swinging from my desperate and humiliating attempts to escape. “P-please, Alfarr. I-I need to take the axe t-to my brother.” I whimpered. I wanted to collapse in on myself, sink down into the deepest part of the Marshes, be beaten to a bloody pulp by Alfarr, just anywhere without Eydis to see how pathetic I was. “I have a present for you.”

No. Oh, nonononononnonononono I need to get that Axe to Villai!

I pressed my fingertips harder into his skin. He kept advancing.

He stopped in front of Eydis and she tilted her head to look up at him, exposing the pale curve of her throat. She had even more freckles than me, but on her they were beautiful, fierce, and uniquely Eydis.

NO! This is no time to be distracted by the love of my life! I need to get Villai’s axe!

“P-please!” I mewled. Alfarr presented the axe to her, holding me aloft in a way that showed off his perfect muscles. “It’s a beautiful piece, right, Eydis?” he eagerly asked. She twirled it between her hands and looked at the metal embellishments. “It’s yours, if you want it.” He rubbed his nose, looking sly and pleased, the toad tail little bugger. “But you’ll have to spend some time with me. I know the perfect place. It’s by Screaming Wind Over The Look. I’ve gotten some honeycakes from Yonyon Poisonbreath and we can-”

“I accept.” she interrupted. She blinked and looked up at Alfarr.

I blinked and looked down to hold back tears.

Alfarr’s eyes nearly hid themselves, his grin was so wide. “R-really?” He scratched the back of his head. “Well, stale butter I’m glad! I’ve got everything ready, already, if you can go now.” He went beet red and curled in on himself in embarassment. “I-I mean, if you want to go. Y-you don’t have to go now, just, well, it’d be nice to go before the honeycakes spoil.” He started rubbing the back of his neck instead.

Joke’s on him, honeycakes last for years.

“Or we can have some fresh ,eat pie under the tree in the grand hall, whatever you want, Eydis, because it’s really amazing that you agreed to go to something with me..” he babbled. 

Broken mugs, he’s a slimy little bugger.

Eydis nodded as if she had just thought something and agreed with it then promptly swung her new axe and socked Alfarr right in the stomach with its hilt. Alfarr doubled over, coughing and dropping me. Some of his saliva hit my cheek and burned my skin.

“A-Alfarr!” Tok squealed and ran up to help Alfarr to his feet. “Eydis, i-if you want to eat something else besides meat pies I don’t mind!” he grinned.

Smack!

Ouch.

Alfarr stumbled back to his feet, holding his cheek. “Ooohhkaay, no meat pies at all then.” he perked up. “What about I make us some mutton and flourcakes to eat!”

Thud

“Alfarr!” Tok slapped Alfarr’s head/ Alfarr sat up. “Wh-what if we sat inside the Grand Hall instead? Not, not outside.” he said woozily, then collapsed. “Alfarr!” Tok cried, slapping him repeatedly.

“Uh, y-you really shouldn’t do that.” I mumbled at the frenzied slapping maniac.

“Alfarr! You didun’ fight! You’re gonna go to Valhalla! You don’t be want to go to Valhalla! Live’n go to Eskeer. Alfarr! Liven’ go to Eskeer!” Tok wailed as he beat his, well, I don’t think Tok thinks of Alfarr as a best friend. I’ve got my suspicions, but they were neither here nor there.

“Tok!” I yelped.

“What!” he cried.

“Stop hitting him! You’ll only make it worse!” I pushed myself to my feet. Dungeon slime, even when they were barely above my waist they somehow managed to dwarf me.

Tok snorted and rubbed his runny eyes, looking up at me with absolute trust in his time of need. “Just.” I stopped. Geez, wipe your nose, ugh. What do you say in these situations? “.Don’t hit him.” I lamely advised. Tok nodded his head as if I had just said words of wisdom instead of common sense. Although now that I think about it they must be one and the same when it comes to Villagers.

Eydis yawned.

Well, with an exception to Eydis.