On the day of our arrival, his family celebrated new years. I tried to avoid him and his family. Every day he tries his hardest to bring me closer but he fails to do so. I just don't want to get too close. Not now, not ever.

January 10, 1946

It's time to go back to school but I didn't go. I couldn't go. I don't have parents that could register me to the school. His family hasn't adopted me because I refused. 

February 12, 1946

It's almost time for a holiday called valentines day. Supposedly you give chocolate or a letter to the person you love. It is similar to a tradition that we used to celebrate in my now destroyed homeland. It was called Innocent or Blossom Love day. We gather a group of kids and write a letter addressed to someone we loved dearly or had feelings for them. We wouldn't have our names written, it was anonymous. We would read the letters one by one until we were finished reading it. After that, we all gathered and hugged and wishing each other happiness. 

February 14, 1946

Today he will teach me how to work.

Marian asked me if I like bread. I didn't answer but instead of an angry look, she hugged me instead. Something feels off. Her chest, it's different from my former mother.

About an hour later Marian gave me a heart-shaped dinner roll filled with chocolate. It was delicious.

Later today, the sisters gave me chocolate. I kept it but did not eat it. I didn't want to.

He taught me how to clean shoes and I received 2 euros.

February 16, 1946

I'm moving again. To another unknown place. It's called America. I don't exactly know what it would be like over there but I hope they sell my favorite candy. 

I went to a place that makes a thing called, passports. Apparently, we need one to enter America.

February 18, 1946

We have arrived at the airport and we have to wait about an hour until boarding time. During this time we eat. We are eating ham and cheese on top of a cracker. 

Later today I made a friend, though I might not see him ever again. His name is Adrian. We talked about France and that he really loved french onion soup and creme brulee. I couldn't tell him what my favorite food was from my hometown because his parents called him. 

February 18 (19), 1946

Apparently, it is the 18th here. I thought it was the 19th but America is a day behind. Get your act together. Stupid America. 

Later today at 6 pm we had dinner. I didn't quite like it. It's called macaroni and cheese. That cheese wasn't very tasty. 

May 12, 1946

It is mother's day but I don't know what to give Marian. I don't know what she likes. 

I asked around my neighborhood what mother's like for a gift. Every response was "a child's love is enough to make a mother happy." but Marian is not even my mom thought I consider her closer than anyone else. 

On second thought, I consider him, closer than anyone else. It was quite a shock. His skin is so fare, his hair is in a ponytail, and his body is so feminine. Regardless, I still love him. More than that man.