Night a little later in the throne room. Hermes and Theseus are sitting/lounging on their thrones while Demetria shouts at Hermes. Helene enters dragging Lysander along and Zelda taking up the rear with her arms crossed.

HELENE

Your Highnesses, I have someone here who would like an audience with you two!!!

(Gestures to Lysander.)

This is Lysander!!!…right?

LYSANDER

Yeah, that’s right.

DEMETRIA

Oh. I see. And which two of us are you talking about?

HELENE

Hermes and Theseus.

DEMETRIA

What—?

LYSANDER

Well, had I known that you were going to be as beautiful as you are, milady, I would certainly have wanted an audience with you as well.

DEMETRIA

Ugh. Fine. You can stay.

LYSANDER

(Low.)

Works like a charm. Ladies always want what they can’t have.

THESEUS

So…who are you, Lysander, and why do you want an audience with us?

LYSANDER

My name is Lysander Balder, and I’m an exchange student from Hogwash School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My roommate and I were passing through town when this faerie came up to us and asked if we would be interested in a prince or a princess. I thought it would be interesting to meet you two.

THESEUS

I see. One moment, please.

(Crosses to Zelda and Helene and pulls them aside.)

You didn’t double-check his file before you brought him here, did you?

HELENE

Nope!!! I completely trust him!!! My instincts tell me that he can be trusted, and I trust my gut!!!

ZELDA

Your gut is naïve. It tells you that you can trust everyone!

(To Theseus.)

I’m just heading over there now. Helene can stay here to make sure nothing else goes wrong while I’m out.

THESEUS

All right. Thank you and good luck.

ZELDA

Sure. Just doing my job.

(Glares at Helene as she exits.)

HELENE

Demetria, can we talk?

DEMETRIA

No!!! I’m done talking with you!!!

HELENE

Will you at least give me a chance? I can probably scrounge up just enough to buy some Marzipan Beer.

DEMETRIA

Please. I can drink as much Marzipan Beer as I want from the comfort of my own castle.

HELENE

(Aside.)

It’s not your castle.

DEMETRIA

What was that?

HELENE

Nothing!!! It’s just that it’s a lovely night and they’re celebrating Midsummer in town. You don’t want to spend it cooped inside a stuffy castle! Plus, I’m sure there are boys who you can play hard to get with.

DEMETRIA

Perhaps…Darling, what do you think?

HERMES

Uh…

(Glances at Helene and Lysander. Helene nods.)

Yeah! You go out there and…show them what they’re missing!

DEMETRIA

Hmmm…seems to me like you’re all too eager to be rid of me…but I guess I could use the night off…and nothing can really happen in an hour…

(Aside.)

Especially when I’m not around.

(Sighs.)

Fine. I’ve decided that I can afford to spend an hour in town. Come, faerie. You can proclaim my beauty to the townspeople as we pass through town.

(Exits.)

HELENE

Of course, milady.

(Aside.)

Cause a faerie tale woman’s true value is all based on her beauty. Just ask Snow White. Besides, fairies can’t lie unless they truly believe their lie.

(Exits.)

THESEUS

And I suppose that I should also go…

LYSANDER

Yes. That would probably be best.

THESEUS

All right then I’m just going to use a generic excuse and head offstage. I look forward to hearing the announcement of your inevitable engagement.

(Exits.)

LYSANDER

Sounds like we have your brother’s blessing.

HERMES

Yeah…but…this is too fast.

LYSANDER

Oh. I see. You’re worried about the way the public will view you. That’s why you’ve never come out.

HERMES

Well, I have to be. I am the prince, after all.

LYSANDER

Well, perhaps if people saw you being yourself, they would have the courage to do the same.

HERMES

Yes, but you have no idea what it’s like to be royalty. With all the societal expectations, it’s really difficult to find the courage to be myself.

(Sighs.)

Can we maybe take it slow?

LYSANDER

Yeah, I guess.

HERMES

Great. Now, tell me your long, detailed backstory that is rather unimportant to the whole of the plot and will probably be cut off.

LYSANDER

(Sighs.)

Once upon a time, there was a boy who was chosen by Loki to specifically cause chaos all over the witching world…

(He continues talking and the scene fades out.)