Morning in the throne room. Theseus is sitting back in his throne with his elbow on the arm rest and Lysander is examining his nails. Zelda enters with Cobweb right behind her and Peaceblossom dragging Mustardseed in behind her.

THESEUS

You’ve returned.

ZELDA

I have and I’m sorry for my lateness, Your Highness. While I was searching everyone’s files, my boss, Moth, gave me these three children to babysit because they were being a serious pain in the—

THESEUS

Did you learn anything?

ZELDA

Unfortunately, not.

LYSANDER

Of course not. When you’re Loki’s chosen one, you have to become proficient in dodging the law. I’ve never been caught.

ZELDA

Well, you did just confess in front of the prince, so I think your streak may have just come to an end.

LYSANDER

Oh really? And what exactly did I confess?

ZELDA

(Beat.)

Well, I—

LYSANDER

Nothing. I haven’t formally confessed to anything. And besides, you can’t touch me. I have a god and a prince watching over me as well as magic far beyond what they teach at Medusa Gorgon’s Academy at my fingertips. Also, I’m not a threat. After all, Theseus could be my future brother-in-law. If anything, I can help protect against threats. I don’t need you, you need me.

ZELDA

While you make a good case, I’m not sure I’m willing to just trust you yet. You were, after all, chosen by the trickster god.

LYSANDER

Yeah, well, your opinion doesn’t matter.

(Hermes enters.)

Ah, good morning, Your Highness.

HERMES

Good morning. What’s going on here?

ZELDA

Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Your Highness.

LYSANDER

Oh, yeah, nothing except that this faerie seems to think she knows you better than you know yourself.

HERMES

What do you mean?

ZELDA

I was just saying that I didn’t trust him. He was chosen by the god of trickery to wreak havoc for the other chosen one. Who knows what he might be trying to do here?

HERMES

Well, he wasn’t interested in coming here before Helene invited him in. Besides, he’s leaving today.

LYSANDER

Oh…right…I forgot about that. Speaking of, I should probably go.

HERMES

Will I ever see you again?

LYSANDER

Perhaps. I may be persuaded to stay...if you ask me nicely.

HERMES

Please?

LYSANDER

I guess. Besides, how can I say no to that face?

HERMES

You can’t. I am the prince and I have the power to order people to be executed.

LYSANDER

Speaking of people with the power to order a person’s executions, we should probably get out of here before the Red Queen comes in and see what’s going on, don’t you think?

HERMES

Good plan.

(Exits holding Lysander’s hand as Helene is entering at a jog.)

HELENE

(Panting.)

Have any of you seen Demetria?

THESEUS

The last I saw her was last night when you took her into town.

HELENE

Dang. I really thought she’d be back by now.

ZELDA

Oh, dear gods, don’t tell me you’ve lost her.

HELENE

And what if I did?

ZELDA

That would not be good for you. Though she won’t be his fiancé for much longer, losing her would probably be enough grounds to get you killed, or worse, fired.

HELENE

Then who’s to say that I did lose her?

ZELDA

No one, but you confirmed it by telling us in the form of a question…so…thanks for that.

HELENE

Dang it.

ZELDA

Now, tell us what happened.

HELENE

Well, we were talking, and I might have pushed her a little too hard with my questions…and she ended up running away from me. But, in my defence, I would never have done it if she had just told me what was bothering her in the first place!!!

ZELDA

Helene, you are digging deep into that meddlesome, trickster faerie trope. You realize that, right?

HELENE

Yes.

ZELDA

Good. Now, since I have to deal with these incompetents, you are going to have to go out there and clean up your own damn mess.

HELENE

Yes, ma’am.

(Exits.)

ZELDA

(Yelling offstage.)

Good luck!

(Aside.)

You’re going to need it.

(To Peaceblossom, Mustardseed, and Cobweb.)

All right, oblivious-idiots-who-refuse-to-admit-their-true-feelings, you’re coming with me and we’re going to find someone for Prince Theseus. If you two argue at all, I swear to the gods that I will murder you!

COBWEB & MUSTARDSEED

Yes, ma’am.

ZELDA

Now, MARCH!!!

(They exit, marching and grumbling. The scene fades out.)