In the evening in the throne room. Theseus is sitting on the throne looking bored out of his mind. Hippolyta enters and kneels. Peaceblossom enters at a bit of a jog, sees them and hides behind a column/pillar.

HIPPOLYTA

Good evening, Your Majesty.

THESEUS

(Stands and steps down from the dais.)

Good evening. And who are you?

HIPPOLYTA

I am Joan and I’m a knight of the North.

THESEUS

Ah yes. Have you come here to start a war between our two countries?

HIPPOLYTA

I will if we cannot solve this problem peacefully. All the queen wants is a passage into your kingdom, so she might steal little children with hearts full of glass fragments.

THESEUS

Just the children with corrupting glass fragments?

HIPPOLYTA

Yes, but their childhood friends and obvious love interest will go on a quest to get them back. Usually.

THESEUS

Any other demands?

HIPPOLYTA

Well, I would say that she wants it to be perpetual winter, but she’s the Snow Queen, not the Ice Queen.

THESEUS

What do I get out of this deal?

HIPPOLYTA

You get to keep your head attached to your body. And your people don’t die in a futile war.

THESEUS

I don’t care about those things.

HIPPOLYTA

You don’t? Then I’d be happy to kill you and your brother right now.

THESEUS

That’s not what I meant, and you know it.

HIPPOLYTA

Yes, but you are at the queen’s mercy. You are in no position to be further negotiating your terms.

THESEUS

I know, but this doesn’t involve her. It involves you.

HIPPOLYTA

Oh? And why me?

THESEUS

Because I was hoping I could convince you to join me. We could use a knight of your calibre on our side.

HIPPOLYTA

While I am flattered by this, the Queen of the North has dozens of knights just like me to fight for her cause. Having one knight would not tip the scales anymore in your favour.

THESEUS

Darn. Well, I must insist that you stay here for the night. You’re going to need all your strength to make the long journey back.

(Puts a gentle arm around her shoulders and starts to escort her out.)

HIPPOLYTA

Thank you. I could definitely use a hot bath.

(Exits with Theseus just as Mustardseed enters at a run.)

MUSTARDSEED

Where are you?!? Come out, come out wherever you are!!!

PEACEBLOSSOM

(Hops out from behind the column/pillar.)

Here I am!!!

MUSTARDSEED

Excellent! Now, stay still so I can murder you!

PEACEBLOSSOM

Sure, but if you kill me you won’t learn what I have to say. And I have a really juicy rumour about Theseus and the knight Joan!

MUSTARDSEED

…Tempting…but no.

PEACEBLOSSOM

Come on! If we got them together, we could prove to Moth that we aren’t children and we belong out in the field just as much as that other intern!

MUSTARDSEED

Perhaps…

PEACEBLOSSOM

Think about it. No more useless coffee runs for ungrateful bosses.

MUSTARDSEED

I wouldn’t be called “idiot” or “useless” anymore.

PEACEBLOSSOM

I’ll still call you idiot and useless regardless because that’s what you are. I mean, just look at how childish you’re acting right now.

MUSTARDSEED

Oh, yeah, and the one making fun of my crush is so much more mature.

PEACEBLOSSOM

Yeah, I am. At least, I would have the guts to talk to my crush rather than arguing with them at every turn.

MUSTARDSEED

Why you little—!

(Lunges at her. Lysander and Hermes enter. Peaceblossom pulls Mustardseed behind a column/pillar.)

HERMES

(Grabs Lysander’s hand.)

Do you have to leave right now?

LYSANDER

I told Rupa that we would be here for a day and it’s been more than a day. I really need to go this time.

HERMES

But—but—but I’ll be lonely without you.

LYSANDER

Darling, you know I’ll be just as lonely without you. But I still have to go…actually…I suppose I could try talking to him. Maybe he would agree to one more night.

HERMES

So…you’re saying…?

LYSANDER

I can convince him that I need to stay…or at least, try to…but I still have to talk to him first.

HERMES

Right. Let me know what happens?

LYSANDER

Of course. I would never leave without telling you good-bye.

HERMES

Okay. I love you.

LYSANDER

I do too.

HERMES

What do you mean “I do too?”

LYSANDER

Don’t make me say it. I don’t do all that heartfelt emotional stuff.

HERMES

Say it.

LYSANDER

Okay, okay.

(Sighs.)

I love you too. There. Happy?

HERMES

Very.

(Kisses Lysander. Pulls back. Overly dramatic/slightly sarcastic)

Now, go. Get your family’s blessing so we can continue to let our love flourish.

LYSANDER

(With the same level of overly dramatic/slightly sarcastic.)

I will return soon, my love!

(Blows a kiss and exits.)

HERMES

(Holds the kiss close to his chest. Low.)

I’ll hold you to that.

(Exits.)

COBWEB

(Enters with Helene dragging Demetria. He sees Mustardseed and Peaceblossom hiding behind a column/pillar.)

What are you guys doing? What did we miss?

PEACEBLOSSOM

Everything. So, Joan, a knight from the North, came to speak with Theseus about terms of the fragile truce between the three kingdoms, right?

HELENE

Right. Joan stopped in at the tavern to ask for directions to the castle.

PEACEBLOSSOM

Okay. Then what happened?

HELENE

Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just responding to your question. Please continue.

PEACEBLOSSOM

Then, as negotiations drew to a close, Theseus insisted that Joan stay for the night. It’s a match made in Albios!

MUSTARDSEED

But that’s not the only thing we saw.

PEACEBLOSSOM

Yes, we also saw Hermes kiss Lysander and Lysander leave, but who cares? Everyone knew they were going to get together because that’s how their story goes in the original play too.

HELENE

Wait, Lysander left?

PEACEBLOSSOM

Yeah, but he said he’d be back, so is it worth chasing him down to force them back together if they’re just going to get back together on their own? I’m more invested in the new development!!!

HELENE

We need to make sure that all relationships come to fruition or we’re going to be stuck here forever! Where did he say he was going?

PEACEBLOSSOM

To talk to someone named Rupa. He headed that way.

HELENE

Thanks. That’s really specific.

(Runs off in the direction Peaceblossom’s pointing.)

PEACEBLOSSOM

(Yelling off.)

Okay. I guess we’ll just stay here and play matchmaker!!!

(To the others.)

Come on, you guys!

(Exits.)

COBWEB

I’ll do this, but when Moth figures it out and we get in trouble, which I don’t doubt will happen, I was against this from the very beginning.

MUSTARDSEED

(Starts to exit. Fake coughs.)

Lawful good. Nerd.

COBWEB

(Follows Mustardseed out.)

Well, someone has to keep you out of too much trouble, and if both of you won’t do it then I guess that duty naturally falls on me. In fact, I will wear that lawful good badge with pride.

MUSTARDSEED

If that’s what you want…

(They exit.)

DEMETRIA

Well, what do I do now?

(Beat.)

I guess I could follow Helene around until she has to get to fixing my happy ending and finding me my childhood friend like she promised. It would be a win-win situation. Even if she doesn’t do anything, just me being there would be enough to drive her insane. And I could also make Lysander go crazy too.

(Walking off.)

Oh, Helene, may I join you?

(The scene fades out.)