Tujuheim, 180

I am well enough after resting and eating to continue writing now, diary. As I was writing, the templar gave me a plate of food, but I turned my face away from it. “I do not deserve food, good knight. I am still content to die in this castle where I belong. Surely I am as evil and as driven by base instincts as these hideous giants if I was not worthy of rescue…”

The templar made a face. “I rescued you, sweet girl. Clearly you are worthy of rescue!”

“Then why was I forced to watch princess after princess get rescued as I was left to rot for eight years!” I cried.

“I… I did not know it had been so long for you…” The templar consoled me sympathetically. “But there must have been a reason for your suffering. You will find out what it is soon, princess.”

I did not understand what he meant. “The reason for my suffering is plain; the moth gods have deemed me a passionless and ugly woman and sentenced me to death.”

The templar gazed at me silently for a moment, and then he shoved the plate of food at me. “Your gods may say that you are unworthy, but mine is telling me something else about you.”

His god meant nothing to me, but I asked sarcastically, “oh? What’s that?”

“That you have a grand purpose worth the price of your suffering…” He grinned at me reassuringly.

I looked down. What a nice idea that was… Even if I ultimately thought it silly.

I gingerly took a piece of cheese from the plate offered to me for the templar’s sake. While I ate I asked, “what is your name, sir knight?”

“Caerwyn. What is yours, princess?” Caerwyn inquired.

“Mimi.” I replied. “You are…”

I looked down shyly while I ate. “You are very—pretty.”

He backed against a wall and sunk to the floor, stretching out his legs in front of him with a little smile. “You think so? I prefer handsome, but I’ll take pretty. That’s usually what everyone calls me.”

I was glad he was receptive of the complement. I didn’t know how to complement humans.

I looked around at our surroundings. This was the type of crack in which rats would lurk in human and moth castles, and I hoped the castle did not have giant rats running about!

There were certainly cobwebs, but they were moth and human-sized, thankfully. Otherwise, it was just a dirty and dark hole. I was so tired of filth and darkness.

Tears came unbidden to my eyes when I thought about it. I buried my head in my hands and sobbed for all my lost time.

“Oh, come now, no tears…” The templar scooted over to me and reached out a hand to try and comfort me, but then remembered that he was not allowed to touch me. “Have courage, princess. Have passion for the fact that you are here. You have been tested and you will be stronger for it.”

I took a moment to dry my eyes and let myself mourn my time before I continued eating and asked him, “why did you come here, Caerwyn? Surely it wasn’t for me…”

“You are wrong; it was for you. A princess came to our temple and begged us to come rescue you. She told me she had already begged her beloved to rally the army to come get you, but he would not. Not even any of the good templar knights were willing to come but me.”

I sniffled. “I am glad she was kind enough to come get you, but I am heartbroken to hear that no one wanted to come but you…”

Caerwyn sat cross-legged and was thinking of something to say to me to make me happy. Instead, he looked down and told me the truth.

“Princess, you must understand, many of our pilgrims come to moth territory on religious journeys and have been killed because of it by your people. I know you are guiltless of any crime, but humans fear you.”

I wasn’t sympathetic to any pilgrims; I couldn’t be when I had lost so much time at the fault of humans. Any of them could have rescued me, but none did. I had been starved and deprived of any loving contact for eight years. At least those pilgrims died quickly.

But there was a more pressing question I had.

“Caerwyn… Why did no moths come to rescue me?” I asked him