I ran home to my abuela and told her what happened to Liv. I did not dare to tell her what I had done. I couldn’t even trust myself - I was a monster. I needed to get away or someone needed to get rid of me. Everyone in the town was right: I was a witch. But I wouldn’t let myself leave my abuela or Alex. My abuela was too old to be by herself. That would just be inconsiderate and impulsive of me to leave.

I arrived to my house in tears. My life and purity was ripped from me - in fact, I was the one who abandoned it. I felt as though I didn't deserve to live. How could I? I was nothing but a beast. 

My thoughts of suicide continued to grow over the course of a week. I was nothing but an empty shell walking around and I felt like a leech, eating and draining the energy out of something living. I didn't deserve to live: here I was alive and breathing while Liv was dead in the ground. She was the one who needed, deserved, to be here. Liv’s death was weighed on me but I never once thought she didn’t live her life completely. She had lived it. The only thing I was thinking was that she never got to live it long enough.

After two days of the accident, Liv's death spread like wildfire around the town, around the area, around the state. I was gaining some unwanted attention or speculation as most people saw me as the culprit. 

The whole week passed by like a blur. One minute it was Monday the next thing you knew, it was five o’clock on Friday. One minute I was sleeping, the next I was watching my friend being placed in the ground. I just wasn’t myself. I felt that I was chained to the chair with no will to move but to only watch lives go on and on. The only thing I could do to keep myself busy while my grandmother was away was to watch TV or to stare at the clock watching the time fly. 

After I killed that man in the gym I was shocked and scared of myself and I thought I was a monster. But somewhere within me I could her the beast comforting me of how it was the right thing to do. I had never been so confused and disgusted at myself.