After the ship explosion we had cannatonic failures all over the ship. Right now only auxiliary engine one was working. Uggs early engine to was failing and we couldn't get it back up online and operational when Exhilarate engine 3 Miss completely shot and dead. It's only been a few days since the explosion but everything was falling apart I'm trying my best to stay in control of my emotions because these people need me. I can't do this do not like our captain he was trained for this he spent his career doing this for the Navy he was experienced and I'm not I'm just some kid. Just some kid who didn't understand any of this. But I couldn't let these people down I couldn't let my crew down I couldn't let the people out possibly grow old with on some Planet down.

So I suck it up and I did my best to become something I'm not in order to help these people. The captain still hasn't woken up yet but the bleeding has stopped from his head and Ava was watching over him carefully monitoring his is vital signs but they were weak and getting weaker every day. She suggested putting him in a pod to keep him alive because essentially those pods we're also life support systems and that's what he needs in order to heal. But she wouldn't do it without my say-so and I told her that wasn't the first thing came and she can do whatever she wants but she told me that I was first in command now. That far alone scared me.

My mind was racing. I was panicking. But I couldn't panic I needed to say calm. I was in charge now. They were going to look to for for leadership and I knew what I had to do. I trained for this. But to actually use it was something completely different than putting it into actual use. I slowed my breathing down and closed my eyes. I counted from five backwards. Five, I inhaled and thought of something calming. Four, I exhale and told myself I can do this. Three, I inhale and said I wasn't alone this this. Two, I exhale and told myself I was one of many who trained for this. One, I open my eyes and started to over forward.

I needed to think of something to do. My mind was racing and yet drawing a blank at the same time. My first priority is to stop the fires close up the hole in the hual and to make sure we stay alive. Everything else is second until we are stable.

I quickly go to the controls and and immediately cut off the power to the engines. Not only will this stop the forward motion but it will keep us still. We won't drift unless something hurts us. I tell the people who can move to put out the fires as fast as they can over the coms and tell Ave to prep those who have lost their lives. I needed Matthew to fix Communications between us and SpaceX. They were knock out and we need to let them know what is going on up. The station could get deadly if we don't restore communications I don't know what we'll do. I told Peter to help Paul go around the ship looking for more injured crew members. The twins and Monaco work waking up Lowe's in their pods that were critical I cannot stay in there any longer. We lost some people and now we have more people awoke and it will be hard to keep them alive, let alone have them follow me.

But I couldn't think of that now. I needed to fix this situation and make it a better one. So for we could day within days if the hual isn't fixed. Or worst. That was something I didn't want to think about. If I had a choice in dying it would be an explosion something instantaneous nothing slow and painful like suffocating because of the lack of oxygen or hunger or thirst.

I get pulled from my thoughts when some beeping goes off. I check the computer and see that one of the cargo areas are on fire. I quickly pull up coms and tells whoever is the closest to pull it out. It was cargo area three and that was were we store some of the seeds for ground our own food on Mars. We needed to put it out as fast as we can or we'll lost so much we worked for. Then another the monitor started flashing, something was blocking the pipes to help extinguish the fire. I needed Marcus the check it out but he was not unconscious during the haul explosion. “Fuck!” I yell and slam my fist on the table. I wanted to lost control but I couldn't. Not when I'm needed. Not when I'm in control of this situation.

I am stress the fuck out in space. I never thought that would be a thing I would say but it was and is a thing in saying right now. I'm stressed and I might die. We already lost some many people and I was starting to doubt myself. But I couldn't doubt myself. “June I need you to release the gravity cylinders so we can move some of the things easier,” said Matthew. I responded to him and shut down the gravity in in some sectors of the ship. I got a thanks in return. I drop my head on the helm and decided to not repeatingly hit my head against it. I look up and saw the stars, as beautiful as they are I didn't want to see them.

I needed to fix this shit or else. We needed to fix auxiliary engine number two and three because the only fully operational one was auxiliary engine 1. Auxiliary engine 3 was supposed to help us colonize Mars and we desperately need that. We need to fix the hole in the side of the ship. Needs to stop the fires in weight more people up. This was becoming something worse than a nightmare but I was awake for it so I only had to face my reality. I need it Matthew to fix the communications relay system and I needed Marcus to be awake. I need a whole lot of things and I'm the only one who can meet these people to do it and it fucking sucks that I have to do this.

But this is my job now this is something that I needed to do. I need to fix this and I need to fix this now.