Mason can’t figure out why he’s so nervous to talk to Ethan. Last night when he found the pamphlet that the dark haired boy had left behind it seemed like a great idea to bring it home and return it to him in person since the school he transferred into happened to be the same school Mason attends himself; but now he doesn’t know what he was thinking. Anxiety was never a huge issue the boy ran into often but with his emotional state becoming steadily more fragile as of late the thought of approaching someone he barely knew seemed like the most idiotic idea he could imagine. And yet here he stands, hovering outside the door to his second period class wanting nothing less than to go inside and seek out the other dancer.

You’re being ridiculous, he’s just some guy and he seemed nice enough, Mason thinks. But then why is my heart beating so fast?  Shaking these thoughts from his mind the boy steels himself and pushes through the door, scanning the room with his eyes for the boy with dark brown curly hair as he walks to his desk. Slumping down into the uncomfortable chair, careful not to scrape the feet of the chair against the floor to avoid the high pitched noise it would emit, Mason breathes a sigh of relief. Anxiety doesn’t always have a definite reason to make you feel uneasy, so although he couldn’t explain why, he was glad that Ethan Whitman wasn’t in the classroom. Almost as soon as this thought passes through his mind the door swings open once again. Entering the room one after the other is his English teacher, Ms. Devoroux, and Ethan.

“Sorry I’m late,” Ethan mumbles to their teacher, just loud enough for Mason to hear, “I lost my class schedule.”

A weird feeling twists in Mason’s chest, a mixture of nervousness and relief at seeing the other boy. Ms. Devoroux casts a glance behind her to Ethan before she clears her throat, causing half of the students to look up, startled, from their phones that they’re poorly attempting to hide from her.

“Can I have your attention, please?” she calls out, her tone casual but holding authority all the same. Beside her Ethan shuffles uncomfortably on his feet, wringing his hands together in front of him and staring at a far point on the wall beside him.

“This is Ethan Whitman, he’ll be attending this class from here on out. Until the second semester starts he’ll be sitting wherever there’s an open desk.” Nodding in the direction of the only empty seat in the room - one row to the left and two seats ahead of Mason. “Go on, Ethan,” she encourages, wearing a wide smile.

Flashing her the same awkward, lopsided grin that he offered Mason yesterday the curly haired boy averts his eyes to the floor, putting his head down and quickly walking to the desk. A few students mumble a hello but most of the class doesn’t even bother to look in his direction. Not for the first time Mason feels a little bad for the boy, it’s hard enough starting a new high school in your Sophomore year but it’s even worse to start nearly half way through the semester. Mason has never been fully in the bully’s spotlight but the fact that he was a ballroom dancer didn’t go unnoticed; as he got older the boy learned not to talk so openly in school; thankfully he hasn’t been harassed in long while. The word gay has been thrown at him in an offensive manner more times than he can count, every time someone utters the word to him he freezes up, horrified. Nobody knew anything about Mason’s life, how could they try to determine something so personal? And he wasn’t gay anyways. The kids in his school may not know Ethan was a dancer yet and Mason silently hopes they don’t find out, they may suddenly remember that Ethan and him share the same passion and now was not the time for people to start messing with Mason’s head again.

Mason debates trying to catch Ethan’s attention to return his papers but before he can decide on how to strike up a conversation when he’s sitting a few desks away Ms. Devoroux begins her lesson. 

The class crawls on agonizingly slow, Mason isn’t some great scholar but he’s not a bad student by any means either; English has always been a strong suit of his so sitting through a class that’s mostly easy for him can be painstaking. Without realizing it at first, Mason finds himself sneaking peeks at Ethan over his textbook. Some strange pull in his gut is telling Mason to watch out for Ethan; maybe it’s the fact that Mason himself has been through so many strange and unfamiliar feelings recently or strictly that he’s never been to school with another dancer before but something in him wants to get to know the other boy better and to keep anyone from messing with him. Ethan seems sensitive, and the world needs more sensitive people to balance out with all the assholes.

As soon as the bell rings kids all around him scoop up their textbooks and sling their backpacks over their shoulders, scurrying out of the room as fast as they can. Keeping an eye on Ethan so he can give him the papers back and not have to worry about it anymore Mason waits until the room has cleared out a bit before gripping the schedule in his hand and approaching Ethan.

“Hey,” Mason calls out when he’s standing a few feet behind the boy. Ethan turns at the sound of his voice and a small smile spreads across his face.

“Oh! Hey,” the other boy speaks and his voice is surprising in how deep it is, Mason heard him speak back in the studio but his mind was too preoccupied at the time to notice. By the look of the boy’s soft features and striking blue eyes Mason had expected him to sound higher pitched, but nonetheless he is still soft spoken. “You’re Mason, right? I did not expect to see you here.” As he speaks Ethan never stops smiling.

“Well here I am," Mason flashes a cheesy smile, getting a laugh from the other boy, "it’s Ethan right?” Mason asks, feeling awkward that he already knows the boy’s name from snooping through his papers.

“Yeah,” looking shocked that Mason would remember the boy nods and smiles. “That’s me, the guy who rudely interrupted your Foxtrot.” A deep rumbling laugh escapes Ethan’s lips as the boy’s cheeks glow crimson with embarrassment once again, his eyes travelling away from Mason's.

In an effort to lighten the mood Mason nudges Ethan with his elbow, “Hey, don’t tell anyone but I was looking for a way to end that audition as soon as possible, we dance well together, really well actually, but between me and you she needs to chill out.” The boys both laugh for a moment before it fades into an uncomfortable silence, standing there for a beat longer Mason realizes Ethan is waiting to hear anything else he might have to say and suddenly feels bad for trash talking one of their classmates, what if Ethan finds him rude? “Okay well, you left this at the studio yesterday.”

Handing over the papers to the other boy Mason shrugs when Ethan thanks him. “No biggie, this school can be a bitch when you’re new.”

“Language,” Ms. Devoroux warns from her desk, Mason didn’t realize she was listening, he feels his cheeks growing annoyingly warm.

“Sorry,” he mumbles to her before directly his words back to the blue eyed boy, “anyways, I’ll see you around I guess.”

“You’ll be at the studio tonight right?”

“Indeed I will. Gotta run to Physics now.” Bidding Ethan goodbye with a wave Mason leaves the room, glad that their interaction went fairly well. Hiking the straps of his bag up on his shoulders the boy makes his way to the next period without another thought of Ethan for the rest of the day.

-

As Mason sets his phone to vibrate and leaves it in the locker at the studio he silently hopes that he Katie will magically realize today they have compatible personalities to make this partnership easier. Losing dancers has become very normal to Mason but it would be nice to have someone who matches his skills with perfect movements and rhythm; they could become something great if they just tried. Maybe they just got off on the wrong foot...hopefully they just got off on the wrong foot.

Slipping out of his beat up old tennis shoes the boy pulls on his stiff dance shoes that have become to feel so natural that the pinch and tight fit don’t phase him anymore. Hurrying into the ballroom a little early Mason hopes Katie is already inside so they can stretch together before the lesson starts, and try to get a feel for one another’s routine.

Relief floods Mason’s chest as Katie waves at him from a far corner in the room when he enters, this is a good sign. Trotting over to her Mason turns up his chin in a half nod to her.

“How’s it going?” He asks.

“Fine. I'm just ready to get this over with.” 

Her words send Mason’s hopes crashing down. It’s not that she’s such an awful person but the tone she speaks with is constantly one of annoyance, like she can’t be bothered. Anna would never speak like that in the studio. Ballroom dance deserves to be treated with respect echoes through his mind over and over, sadly.

“Wow. Nice to see you too,” the boy mumbles sarcastically.

As the couple helps one another with their stretching they don’t speak more than a few words to one another. Mason is determined to make this work, even if they can’t be friends he will put in one hundred and ten percent into his practicing today to at least become the best performing couple they can be.

More and more students filter into the ballroom over the course of the next thirty minutes, beginning their stretching while greeting their friends and dance partners. Jealousy strikes Mason’s hearts as he casts a glance at Katie who is absentmindedly twirling her hair around her index finger. At least I have someone to dance with, Mason reminds himself.

“Good evening everyone!” Mr. Burkley bounds into the room, his usual boisterous personality shining, “Let’s get shakin’!”

Speaking directly to each couple their instructor runs down what they’ll be practicing that evening, when he reaches Katie and Mason the man is absolutely beaming with excitement.

“I’m expecting great things from you two, just learn more about one another through dance today, you have free rein.” Katie blows a bubble with her gum in response before grabbing Mason’s hand to assume the Waltz position.

Gazing into the wall length mirror that runs across half the room, reflecting all the dancers, Mason’s eyes travel over all the couples that have been practicing together for years. Yearning aches in his heart as he has to start back from the beginning with another new partner who may not even work out. After scanning the room the boy’s eyes fall on a familiar face with soft brown curls across his forehead, taking the stance to practice a solo Waltz. Mason has been practicing solo for months, every fiber in his being hopes he doesn’t end up in that position again. Being alone is a feeling he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. The loneliness he has felt the past eight months is lurking in the shadows, awaiting the perfect moment to bare its teeth and attack Mason once again, sending him into the spiraling darkness below.

“How sad is that, he’s the only one dancing alone,” Katie laughs in his ear, pulling him from his thoughts, “I bet you any money he doesn’t last a week.”

Without answering Mason takes off in a long stride, startling Katie, causing her to stumble a few steps but he doesn’t care, inside the boy wears a small snickering grin. Out of the corner of his eye Mason finds Ethan alone in the crowd of happy couples. Ethan is normally a shy person, anyone can tell just by looking at him and his body language, but when he dances, confidence seeps from every inch of his body. With long strides and a smile on his face Ethan’s dancing screams “look at me!”