Mason wakes up the next morning riddled with anxiety. He drifts through the morning in a sleepy daze, groggily putting on school clothes and making his way down the stairs for breakfast. Once he sits at the table his dad looks at him over his cell phone, smiling. Responding with a lopsided grin the boy takes a bite of his eggs, dreading the day he has ahead of him. Before his parents can fire more questions at him about the competition as they did the evening before Mason clears his dishes and grabs his backpack from the floor beside him. Wishing them farewell the brunette puts his head down and slowly makes his way to the bus stop. 

The day is mostly a blur of uneventful moments, all the way up until the last few minutes Mason is at school. Stuffing numerous textbooks in to his locker - not really caring if they don’t exactly fit - the brunette huffs as he pulls the straps of his backpack up and over his shoulders, the weight it adds only a mere distraction from the numbness that winds its way through his veins. The competition has spiked Mason’s feelings of depression, bringing it back in full swing; he’s starting to think his dancing career will never be the same again. Slamming his locker shut Mason spins around on his heel, ready to wait in the carpool line for an eternity. That’s when he sees him. Before he can stop it Mason audibly gasps, causing Ethan to turn around and look at him quizzically. The curly haired boy stands directly across the hallway pulling things out of a locker. How had Mason never noticed their lockers were less than ten feet away from one another? Eyes shifting back and forth for a minute at his surroundings Ethan offers Mason a meek smile, it only lasts a few seconds before his gaze drops to the floor. Hurriedly shutting his locker the brunette boy begins to walk away down the hall, moving briskly with his head still turned to the floor. 

Immediately embarrassed by his behavior Mason begins to wonder why his knee jerk reaction was to avoid the other boy, but something inside him is nervous around the other boy after yesterday. The way things were left was Mason making Ethan cry and Katie accusing the boy of liking Ethan, how was he supposed to act around him now? Insides twisting at memories of the events that occurred Mason shakes his head to rid him of the swirling thoughts. Exiting the school into the brisk air Mason breathes a sigh of relief when his mom’s car is waiting out front to pick him up. Not wanting to run into Ethan, Mason hurries into the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

-

As soon as he steps into the building Mason’s anxiety spikes. Mumbling a hello to the strawberry blonde at the desk the boy puts his head down and hurries into the locker room. Mr. Burkley was not happy the last time they spoke, which is exactly why Mason was the first student to arrive today; if he was going to get yelled at the least he could do was make sure nobody else had to see it and embarrass him further. No matter how much he adores ballroom dancing, every time Mason enters these doors recently it’s an immediate sense of dread which in turn, brings him sadness as well. Taking his time to pull on his ballroom shoes and dress in his practice outfit Mason tries to stall for as long as he can. He gets away with an extra ten minutes in the locker room before he has to set his phone to vibrate and leave it in his locker. Steeling himself with a deep inhale of breath the brunette pushes through the large set of double glass doors into the ballroom.   

Mr. Burkley stands with his back to the boy and when he turns his expression is harsh, contrary to his normal bubbly aura. Crossing his arms, Mr. Burkley sighs as Mason lets his gaze drop to the floor. 

“Mason,” he speaks coldly, his tone laced with disappointment. The last thing Mason needs right now is one more person being disappointed in him.

“I-” Mason begins before the man cuts him off.

“I’m going to stop you right there. I’m not mad, I want you to know that, but I’m disappointed.”

“I know...I’m sorry,” the boy mumbles, looking anywhere but at Mr. Burkley.

“Then why did you do it, Mason? You two danced beautifully. I know you miss Anna but eventually you have to move forward with your career and Katie seemed like such a perfect match for you.” 

“She is a good dancer, it’s just that she’s not a good friend. I know that’s not what’s most important here but…” for the first time Mason makes eye contact with his instructor, seeing his face soften slightly at his words, “I’ve been through a lot the last couple of months with all these different partners, and if we’re going to be spending so much time together we should at least get along don’t you think?” His voice takes on the tone of pleading and he hates how vulnerable he sounds right now. 

For the second time in two days Mason feels tears forming behind his eyes, hating the sensation. Blinking rapidly to rid the impending tears the brunette silently urges his instructor to say what he has to say so Mason can leave the studio before everyone else arrives. 

“I understand, Mason. I don’t see a problem with Katie, but if you don’t get along that’s something personal and I wouldn’t want your career to be poorly impacted,” he speaks carefully, choosing the words he wants to say to validate the boy without sounding condescending, “I guess I’ll get back to trying to set up auditions if that’s alright with you?”

Mason nods silently before kindly asking if that’s all Mr. Burkley wanted to say to him. When the older man agrees Mason excuses himself to the restroom, as he turns his back on the instructor it’s as if a wave has suddenly crashed down on him. All the emotions and problems he’s been holding inside for the past eight months have burst at the seams, causing an onslaught of emotions that Mason has denied himself to feel for so long to hit him all at once. Eyes welling up beyond his control the boy hurries to the bathroom, crashing through the door with all his weight, making the brass knob collide with the wall beside it.

As the door swings shut Mason stares at his red face in the mirror and he can only breathe heavily, turning the knob on the sink for cold water as far as it will go before cupping droplets into his palms and bringing it up to his face. Suddenly he cannot hold it in any longer, sucking in deep breaths the brunette feels his heart pounding in his chest, forcing himself to look in the mirror once more. As he looks at his reflection Mason is unsure what it is that finally breaks him - the tired bags under his eyes, splotchy cheeks, heaving chest or the look of pure disappointment in his eyes - but something inside snaps as the boy begins to cry. Not a dignified cry either, heaving, coughing, lurching sobs that envelop his whole body; anybody walking by would easily be able to hear him and the boy finds himself relieved once again that he was the first student to arrive. 

Shoulders trembling and hands covering his face Mason allows the rush of emotions flood his mind that he’s been shutting away for so long. Being a dancer, Mason has learned that no matter what happens, you keep performing. All these months Mason has been ensuring everyone that he misses Anna but is happy for her and Daniel, that he doesn’t mind losing another partner because they deserve a better fit for their dancing style, that he enjoys being able to practice solo since he’s never got the chance to dedicate all his time to himself before, that a break from competitions is actually better for his career, that he doesn’t miss the way things were last year. After yesterday the boy has been left feeling battered and broken, something about Katie’s comment has stuck in his mind, confusing him. Whenever he thinks of Ethan and his Mom a strange feeling of nausea follows, and he finds himself not wanting to appear too close to Ethan despite the fact that he wants to comfort him. The whole incident has shaken him to the core.

Moments pass of Mason hoping nobody shows up and walks in, seeing him falling apart like this; but his flooding tears leave almost as soon as they arrive. Soon enough his eyes are dry and his throat is raw, he doesn’t have anything left inside him. His body still trembles slightly but he can’t seem to produce any more tears, lowering his hands from his face Mason keeps his head down as to not see how awful he must look reflected in the mirror. Turning his back on himself the boy takes a few steps towards the door but can’t seem to justify going back to the ballroom like nothing happened feeling and or looking like this. 

Resting his spine against the restroom door Mason slowly sinks to the ground, pulling his knees up to his abdomen. He knows that if he’s gone too long other students will begin to filter in for their lessons and his instructor will send someone to fetch him, bring him back to continue his solo Waltzing. Every fiber in his being doesn’t want to dance alone again but he knows he has no choice. The thought of seeing Katie during practice suddenly pops into his mind, his heart skipping a beat. Did he make the wrong decision in ending their partnership? Katie’s statement that Ethan wasn’t his partner flits through his mind again before he pushes it away, his mind is already cloudy enough, he can’t process that conversation yet. While waiting for the inevitable awkardness of this lesson it’s all Mason can do to steady his pounding heart, he knows he’ll have to get up soon but his cheeks still feel hot and he’s sure his eyes are puffy and red. 

But before long his hands are no longer trembling and his face no longer feels warm, breathing settling back to normal Mason leans his head back and looks up at the ceiling. Is this the way a National Champion acts? He asks himself. Yes, apparently. Tempted to call Anna and vent to her everything shitty that has happened to him since she left Mason is very thankful it’s required to keep your phone in your dance bag in your locker. He remembers the promise he made himself; wait until you have a steady partner to call her, he reminds himself over and over. 

The minutes pass in a dazed sort of way when Mason suddenly feels the pressure of someone trying to open the door bearing heavily into his spine and he’s snapped out of his thoughts and back to reality. Scrambling to get his feet underneath him and move out of the way of the door Mason doesn’t think to check in the mirror and how he looks after having a complete mental breakdown until it’s too late. Mason finds himself face to face with those familiar curls he’s grown to know over the past few weeks. Ethan stops in his tracks as he sees Mason, looking at him with a look on his face that acknowledges the tangible tension hanging in the air. Mason shifts uncomfortably under the watchful eye of the other boy, thinking back to the way he left things at the competition and at school makes him feel guilty.

“Hey,” Ethan says quietly, scratching the back of his neck absently.

Unable to meet his eyes in his current state Mason crosses his arms over his chest defensively, hoping his cheeks aren't burning pink.

“Hey,” he whispers.