I may be weird

I may seem awkward

But I am only a shy person

And I hate talking

To strangers, the people I don’t know

It scares me to think I'm being judged by a blank face

The face of my judgementer

It’s social anxiety.

For my negative side, makes me overthink

And makes me back down from an opportunity

This social anxiety

Hates me.

        - Aquarius

I strongly dislike talking to those that I'm not familiar with. I start to overthink the judging stares I would get. I don’t have a diagnose from a doctor that I have social anxiety. But I feel it. I scare myself. My mind doesn’t know when to stop sometimes. A simple mistake made by me can turn dark corners quickly. Meeting those new faces terrifies me due to that fact that I feel like they can judge me. Just a glance and find a flaw. I'm full of flaws. I went to my school’s fitness center for the first time two weeks ago. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach. I'm not of a healthy weight. I want to get better though. It’s not only exercising but I need to eat healthier too… Just standing in the hall frantically pacing, I felt some eyes. I was able to call a friend and my father. He helped. He stayed on the phone with me as I started to work out. I've always been a shy person. I moved a lot throughout my childhood and never had a single friend or group. Once I moved to a town I lived in for 5 years, I made the best group of friends. They were able to be weird and quirky with me. All of us having our own weirdness. I still have those friends and more friends. I'm not the MOST popular person in the world, or in my school. But to be able to have those weird, great friends is way better. But everyone has a fear. I just have a social fear. Of talking face to face to the people I don’t know. Yet there are people I see. People that I watch. Not creepily though! I just notice people. I get people watching from my dad. Going to malls is fun just to see what people are there. But the judging faces that I feel that I get makes me uncomfortable. I have a difficult time ordering food sometimes. I know that I could be overreacting but I hate talking with strangers. Even if it’s the many friends of my father or mother, it’s just an awkward wave. O! The agony of awkward conversations. Neither one knows what to say. Lo, an awkward silence settles in between them. I shiver at the thought of it. Do you fear strangers, reader?