The more things clear and come into focus, the more, I find, I want to seek a solace from it all.

Sometimes I experience it in a rush, or someone who has also been observant, says something that shakes me. All my dreams of the future with Chen, with many happy but disciplined children, waking up in the morning and anticipating his face close to mine, and having verbal dances in step.. Gilead suddenly ran her hands through it all, and the clouds of smoke no longer froze in place as happy dreams- as if someone had hit 'play' on reality, they began to move up towards the sky, dissipating.

This is why I don't like listen people.... I don't like it

..i need to go somewhere new fast