Rain drops tapped lightly on my apartment window, drowning out the faint cries I hear in my mind when I think about how they could have been taken away. I slouch in the couch, resting my hand on my cold, fair thigh. 
  This was all because of me.
  I skip through all the memories I've made with them, there aren't that many. I never tried to make any. Every day was just me seeing them not hearing them, listening to them. I already had my problems. I guess there is no escaping destiny, my life is just sorrow. It could have been something but I threw that chance away when I saw her- why do I keep thinking of that? 

  I sigh. Without meaning to, gentle tears start to roll down my cheeks, I can't tell if I'm sad or angry or is this just guilt? What's wrong with me. The tears start to bring pain as they slowly fade away, they are all three. My vision blurs, my surroundings smudge all I can register are random colors mixed together.
  I wipe off my tears on my wrist, making my wrist shine with my tears - the tears of shame. Now, all I ever want to do is just curl up into a ball and sleep, but I can't. I want to hide from all the guilt, the shame, but I just can't. I feel like people are watching me, like their stares are beating me. Like how parents would when their children misbehave. It hurts.
  I decide to take a walk out side, the rain had just stopped. I breathe in the misty air, I can feel it filling my lungs, my whole body. Refreshing.
  I can hear the rustling of the twigs when I step on them, the shuffling of the crisp leaves, peaceful. But I know exactly where I'm going now, to her grave. My breathing quickens. They all come in quick, sharp burst. Like all the lives I've seen disappear right in front of me. 
  Gone.

The words engraved into the grave, now are unclear, unreadable. Dishonored.
  I hate them.