Mother is lying on the bed. As I held her hands with mine, I can feel her pulse getting slower and slower. They say that boys (even big girls) don’t cry, but if it is about my dying mother while I kneel here worthless and couldn’t anything, I’d rather be an animal.

“Jess, promise me you will take good care of Ellica.”

I clutched her hands tighter. “Mom! Please don’t say that! You’ll live longer! I’ll get you a doctor. Me, you and Ellica will live in a big mansion! We will live happily ever after, I promise!”

“You are as optimistic and goofy as your father, Jess. I don’t want to say this, but I’m afraid that I might meet your dad soon.”

“Mom? Brother? Why are you two crying?” Ellica rubs her eyes as she enters the room holding her teddy bear with her left hand.

“Ellica, please take good care of your big brother for me.”

“Mom, don’t say those words. Please. Don’t leave us.” I throw myself into her embrace and the silence is filled with my sobs. Ellica comes closer and despite not knowing what’s going on, she also shed tears and joined in for the hug.

“Mom, are you going to leave us?” Ellica asked while clutching our mom’s plain white dress- the kind of clutch you would do if you don’t want someone to leave.

“No, mom is going to stay with us. Right, mom?”

I felt her tears flow down to my forehead. I may not see it but I believe she is smiling.

“Mom, please promise me and Ellica that you’ll stay here.”

“Mom?”

“Mom???”

“MOM!!!”