“Hue!”

“Hue!”

A snapping of fingers shows on my line of sight as I wake up from a blissful dream. It is my friend Sho, and he is here to have a piece from my loot. Four hours ago, I caught two young Innoc boys whose age ranges from 8 to 11 and three Innoc toddlers.

“You want a spare, do you?” I gave Sho a cold glare as he inches his fingers towards the right hand of one of the toddlers. When he’s about to get a touch on my precious meals, I punch his hands with my knuckles and make sure that he’ll cry out in agony.

“AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” He screamed so loud that my cabin’s pillars have shaken a bit and my ‘meals’ started to cry out loud, too.

“You, 17 year-old freak! What was that for?!” Sho exclaims as he tries to give a glare that sends me nothing but a crawling laughter within my stomach. I’m trying my best not to explode my fit of laughter but his sorrowful face is such a comical scene to watch.

“Get your own food, you bastard.”

He bit his lips as he looked at the crying toddlers on my dining table. I thought I am hearing a thunder but it is just Sho’s stomach.

“You’re having a borborygmi,” I stated with concern. I know Illums are not used to be kind or selfless, but this poor guy hasn’t eaten for 2 weeks now. He has failed to get targets, or should say victims, in the last four consecutive hunting seasons. If he doesn’t eat within two weeks, the fats and muscles in his body will be eaten up by his own cells. His body will degrade slowly and he’ll eventually die.

“So what?” He replied with a stern look on his face.

“Sho, that’s the hundredth time that I heard your stomach rumbling. You better move your slacking body and hit the heavens above… literally. Get some food!”

He doesn’t move a muscle. He just give me a sigh of nonchalance and tuck his arms infront of his chest. A deafening silence has engulf the whole atmosphere and there is nothing you can hear except for the endless crying of the wrapped-up toddlers. Few minutes later, his obnoxious snoring has melted with the sound of the other nuisances.

He has already fallen asleep.

I got to my feet and was about to leave my cabin when I noticed a coat hanging at my door knob. It was perfectly made from black feathers that was stitched using hairs. Maybe the hair comes from dead Innoc women… or maybe from our dead fellowmen. It doesn’t matter anyway. Whoever left his coat in my cabin is a coo-brain because I will make this coat mine. If ever this is Sho’s, he’ll be willing to give it to me because I am going to find a food for him.

Yes, I am going to find a food for that bastard who wants to eat my meal as if he helped me catch it.

It is just seven minutes since I came out of the Great Pit, and look what I have found! A tasty, meaty, and young adult Innoc that lie helplessly in one of the cumulus clouds in the far East.

Like the speed of raging angry bulls, I fly towards the guy and… *BLLAAGGGHH!*

“WHAT THE?!” I exclaimed in shock. I turn around to see who the heck shoved me away like a towel, and there I saw the most horrifying face I’ve ever seen.

He is an Illum, too; but I’m a million times more handsome than him, honestly.

His eyes are bulging out as if it was going to fall out of his sockets at any minute. His nose is… missing. Has he ever undergo a rhinotomy, because it looks like that he has undergone with one. His hairs… well, you can count them with your fingers because I bet it’s less than a hundred. But if I were you, I won’t do it because his scalp is rottening with white worms oozing out with pus. His teeth are… well, fill-in-the-blanks kind of thing. Over all impression, he looks like an Illum with just skeletal and integumentary system… and also some internal organs. I mean, he has no muscles nor fats!

“HELPPPPPPP!!!” The young Innoc bellowed up as he embraced himself to the hem of a cloud. The ugly Illum is pulling him to the best that he can but it’s useless because he doesn’t have muscles to begin with.

I could just float right here and watch the funny scene go on; but, I was alerted when I saw that the ugly beast is planning to plunge his blunt rotting black teeth into the guy’s right leg.

I tried to punch his jaw but I underestimated the ability of his mouth. As my hand recoils backward, he stretched his neck forward and his teeth have clawed on to my right forearm. With my left hand being free, I grabbed his rottening face and pulls his eyeballs out with my fingers and put it inside his bad-breathed mouth.

“T-thank y-you,” says the Innoc guy as his jaw trembles at the moment. His brain is still processing all the chaos, menace and gross thing that he has just seen. I bet he has even peed on his pants if I throw the ugly beast’s eyeballs on him instead of putting it in the beast’s mouth.

After an awkward dead air between the predator and his prey, I am flabbergasted when instead of running away, the Innoc guy moves towards me. He scrutinizes my wound with a keen look, and brings out a small transparent bottle with a blue liquid in it.

He grabs my arm and before I could do anything, he put droplets of that I-don’t-know-what-is-that-for liquid on my wounded forearm. It feels cool like a eucalyptus and it smells like mint.

With that bothered look upon his face, I know he is not yet contented. He rips off the hem of his shirt and bands it around my wound. He’s looking for any sign of discomfort in me as he ties the knot of his own-made bandage. I feel really comfortable so I just give him a smile.

What the heck happened? My food is helped me. Whhhaaaattt?

“My food cured me! Hahahaha!” I bursted out laughing when I finally realize what was going on. I look at the Innoc guy that has million question marks invisibly shimmering above his head.

“Hey mister, I haven’t given you any food, nor, I didn’t see that you ate any.” He calmly said that left my jaw hanging.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I can’t contain my laughter. What an idiot?! Doesn’t he realize that he is my food, and he cured me. For what? So, that my two forearms can pin him down on my dining table as I devour his intestines while he screams for help?

“Why are you helping me?” I said at him jokingly. First, that’s what I wanted to know in the first place. This is like getting a snake for a pet, but in this situation, it’s more like putting your head in an alligator’s open-wide mouth that can shut in close at any second.

“Because… you are good, and uhhmmm… you help me in the first place?”

Badness voracious! (It is because I am an Illum; if I am an Innoc, then it would be Goodness Gracious. I’m really bad at this jokes.)

Really… this guy is crazy! I am choking myself to death due to hysteria and he doesn’t even know it! I calm myself down before I talk because I know if he’ll talk nonsense again, I’ll die laughing.

“Good? Have you think of it before you let that word go out of your mouth? Look at me! I am an Illum! How could I be good, huh?!”

“You’re good because you save me from the skeleton zombie.” He even smiled happily at what he said.

“Listen, you fool. That’s not a skeleton zombie, it is also an Illum… like me! I save you from that one because I wanted to take you home, give my first catches to my hungry friend, then when he’s gone, I’ll eat you alive. Get it?”

“Ok.”

He replied me with an ok… with a calm face…

“Don’t you realize the situation you are in? Aren’t you going to run right now and scream for help before it’s too late?”

“Why should I? I know you’re good and you will not eat me.”

I adore his confidence but that won’t get him somewhere. I’m going to eat him later, and he is like I-will-just-smile-here-because-I-am-not-going-to-be-eaten. Seriously, am I dreaming? Because if it is, then this is the worst nightmare of my life.

“Shut-up you smiley face. I’m going to take you to the underworld and---”

“That’s awesome!” He jumped up on his toes and he started clapping, like what a five-year old do when you give them a toy or an ice cream.

“I AM TAKING YOU THERE BECAUSE I AM GOING TO EAT YOU! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?!”

“You are not going to eat me because---“

“OF COURSE, I WILL! NOW STOP TALKING AND…”

“Woah! That’s a nice coat! Can I try it on?”

Doesn’t he know how to listen? Or, maybe his IQ is too low that it will take him 23 hours before he process everything that I have said. Later on, he will eventually realize that I am here to take him and eat him alive.