Cassandra didn't return the next day nor did she return after five days. The first snow had fallen and there had been no word from her. She had even blocked herself from James.

James.

He was a total wreck without her and it angered my wolf and I to see him like this because of Cassandra. How could Cassandra leave him so easily? How could she leave him like this? The first few days were hard on him. I only knew this because Ryder told me. I hadn't gone see him. They wouldn't let me see him. He snapped at anyone who came close. His wolf was on the edge. He needed his mate. After two weeks, he calmed down enough to ask where I was. It flattered me that he didn't blame me, but Ryder still didn't want me around him. Ryder, himself, could barely be around him. At one moment, he was sane and then the next moment, he lost it. The pain from not being able to reach his mate would take over.

Life moved on around him. Everyone continued to gather supplies for the upcoming winter until there was nothing but snow that covered the ground. Inches and inches of snow. It was cold and hard to run in. My wolf hated it. To top it all off, I was stuck in a cabin full of males. It was a pain to deal with Jeremiad staring at me all the time or having to deal with the twins' bickering. Ryder even drove me insane. It still was nice to have them around though. They were like brothers to me at this point. We joked around a lot and no matter how much we fought each other, we forgave each other.

I was scared to let them in like I let Cassandra in, but I couldn't stop myself from allowing them inside who I was. I still held secrets, but it was getting harder and harder to keep my walls up.

"This is stupid," I grumbled as I was stuffed in the backseat of a truck that was on its way to the mall.

"I thought girls liked shopping," Jeremiah said beside me.

"Do I look like a typical girl to you and why are we going shopping anyway?"

"Christmas is coming up," Ryder explained from behind the wheel.

"You celebrate that holiday?"

"Of course, you don't?" Malcolm asked.

"No, it's a human holiday."

"I didn't think about it like that. I guess it makes sense that not every wolf would celebrate Christmas. We don't celebrate it for the same reasons humans do. We—"

"—like to get presents?" I asked, and he nodded sheepishly.

"I don't see why I had to come along. It's not like I have any money to spend on all of you."

"We do a secret Santa type thing every year and don't worry about the expenses. It's on David," Lincoln said.

"I don't want him—

"Yeah we know. You don't want him to pay for you, blah blah blah," Ryder mimicked. "We've all heard it before. Just shut it and buy a damn gift." I growled, and I knew he rolled his eyes.

"Do you expect me to pick out a gift for all of you?"

"No and that's why we're doing secret santa," Lincoln said from the passenger seat.

"Why didn't I know about this? Who do I have?"

"I got the jar of names right here in my lap."

"If you didn't celebrate Christmas, then what did you celebrate during the winter months?" Malcolm asked me.

"My old pack celebrated the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. On the day of the solstice, we held one huge party and then when the moon was at its highest, we ran as one pack. As a kid, it was a pain to go, but for shifted wolves, it's an indescribable feeling."

"It's more of a free for all here. Wolves do whatever they want during the Winter Solstice," Jeremiah said.

"What are you guys going to do this year?" I asked.

We could always just hang," Malcolm suggested. "It's not going to be the same without Cassandra's cooking though."

We made it to the mall and we each drew a name from the jar. I didn't know if Cassandra's name had been placed inside it and thankfully, I wouldn't know because I didn't draw her name. I got Ryder's name. I felt relieved when I learned it was him who I got. He would be easier to get a present for than anyone else. I wasn't as close to anyone else.

After picking our names, we separated. We thought it would be best to shop alone so we didn't give away who we got. Buying a gift for someone wasn't my strongest skill. Picking out a gift required you to know the person, know their interests. The only people I was ever close to like that were my family and Kian. My family was gone, and Kian was dead to me now. I was starting to create new bonds, bonds that I feared. I already lost so much that I didn't want to lose anymore.

I walked from store to store, unable to find the right gift for him. Everything I looked at didn't seem right; it didn't seem fit for him. They were generic, and I didn't want to get him some simple gift with no thought behind it. I couldn't even think of a present that would be useful to him. What did I really know about Ryder? What did I know about any of them? Did any of this really matter? Once the snow is lifted, I would be gone. I would be in a new pack, my forever home and the memories I've shared here won't matter.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed a salesperson approach me. "Is there anything I can help you with today?" she asked me, and I didn't have a clue how to respond. I looked like a clueless idiot.

"Uh, I'm not sure," I admitted.

"Are you perhaps looking for a gift?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Okay, that's a good start. Who is it for? A friend? A family member?"

"My brother," I rushed out before I realized what I was saying.

"Okay, we can find the perfect present for your brother. Do you think he would like a sweater?" I doubt it. Ryder didn't seem like the sweater type. The woman went through several gifts until I could tell she was fed up with me. Nothing that she suggested seemed right. It all seemed too generic. I was close to giving up and getting him a stupid card. Finding the right present for him was becoming a nuisance. Would he even care about the present I bought him? Would it matter?

I left that store and walked aimlessly through the mall until I spotted one of those engravement shops. I thought gifts like these were always cheesy, but I ended up walking in anyway. I spotted a picture frame. I made sure to not touch the silver one and I grabbed the wooden one instead. Could I get him a picture frame? Would he even want it? Why would he? It was just a stupid picture frame that held no significance.

My wolf nudged me. What? What was it? All picture frames did was hold pictures, hold memories. I didn't want to forget them. Did they feel the same way? When I leave, would they care? Would they remember me?

Over this exhausting ordeal, I buy the picture frame and go to the food court where we all set to meet. I wasn't the first one to arrive. Ryder and the twins were there waiting. "It's about damn time. Where the hell is Jeremiah?" Ryder asked. "How long does it take to buy a gift?" I started to feel nervous about the bag in my hand. Would he like it? I hated how vulnerable I felt. I shouldn't care about what Ryder thought of the gift, but for some reason I did.

Jeremiad eventually arrived, and we decided to eat in the food court. After we were done eating, we returned to Blackhound. The Winter Solstice had come and gone with us having our own little party in our cabin. David was invited, but thought he better stay with James. He didn't want him to be alone. We wanted to see him, but Ryder still didn't think it was a good idea. I felt insulted that he thought I was in danger. James might be unstable, but I was still a beta wolf. If it came to it, I could handle myself. I decided to ignore his warning and see James for myself. He was staying with David who wasn't surprised to see me.

"I don't think you should see him alone, but he's upstairs," he said as he let me in. I nodded and walked upstairs, following James' scent. It smelled as if he hadn't bathed in days. When I opened the door, the room was dark, and I barely saw him sitting up in the bed. I barely recognized him. He let his beard grow out and his hair had gotten longer.

"Savannah?" he asked. He sounded weak.

"Yeah, it's me and you reek."

"I didn't think you'd come."

"Ryder couldn't keep me away."

"You shouldn't be here. He blames you. I'm sorry, but my wolf..."

"I get it. I just had to come see you for myself."

"David has called a million times, but no one will answer him. Why won't she answer? I thought she loved me."

"I don't know, James." I could see the pain in his eyes and I could see his wolf trying to push forward. I couldn't stay, not for long because his feelings were overpowering him, letting his wolf take over and he growled at me. I knew when it was time to leave. I felt selfish for coming to only bring him pain. It wasn't my fault, I knew that much, but I didn't like seeing him like that. There wasn't much I could do. I couldn't simply go get Cassandra for him. Alpha Cole would have me killed the moment I stepped on his land and who knew if Cassandra even wanted to come home. I doubt she would listen to me.

I left after that and soon Christmas was upon us. We all gathered together, even David. James refused to leave his new room. He rather sulk all day and night. I couldn't handle looking at him without keeping angry at Cassandra.

"Let's open our gifts now," Malcolm said as he held a wrapped present in his hands. Everyone exchanged gifts and looked skeptically at the gift that Jeremiah gave me. I opened it, sighing in relief when I saw that it was a simple bracelet. I thanked him, and it sent him over the moon. I was nervous when Ryder opened mine. Confusion crossed his face and then shock. Malcolm looked over his shoulder and laughed when he saw what it was.

"What the hell is this, Savannah?" he growled, and I hid a smile as he held up the picture frame. "Two assholes?" he asked pointing to the engravement.

"Am I wrong?"

"And when did you take this picture?" He was referring to the picture I took of him sleeping with me making a funny face at the camera.

"I wanted you to have a picture of us so when I leave you won't forget me," I admitted, and his eyes softened.

"We could never forget you, Savannah." It warmed my heart to hear him say that because I didn't know what the future held, but it would be hard for me to forget them. I didn't want to.