Daniel was spiralling. He knew he was spiralling. The memory kept playing over and over in his head, and he did what he had learnt. He forced the memory to keep going, forced himself to remember what happened next.

                                                             ***

Daniel had spent three months in foster homes. They had been unable to find his mother, and they had put him in the foster system. Daniel hated it. He hated the other kids, and the foster parents. The houses were cramped, and there were always too many kids, all of them which were bigger than him. He got his ass kicked, and whenever he tried to stand up for himself and fight back, the foster parents would always yell at him and blame him, and then he would be moved to another foster home. He remembered being in a small room, which was getting more and more common. It was where he was put before the new foster family came and picked him up. He sat on the metal chair and played with the hemp of his shirt. It was way to big and full of holes and rifts. As the door opened he saw the social worker enter the room and he hopped down from the chair. Behind her were to figures. When he saw who it was he froze. It was Alice and Nathan. He felt anger rise inside him and tears threatened to spill. They’d left him. They’d let him be taken away and they hadn’t done anything to stop it.

“Hi, sweetheart”, Alice said. “I’m sorry we’re late, baby. But we’re here to take you home, if you want to.” Daniel walked towards them with stiff steps. His body didn’t feel as itself and he was so, so, so angry.

“I hate you”, he said as Nathan hunched down. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” he yelled as tears ran down his cheeks and he punched Nathan in the chest with his fists. He was so angry, he couldn’t stop. Nathan didn’t get mad, though. He wrapped his arms around him and when Daniel didn’t have any more punches in him, he huddled him closer as he spoke softly.

“I know. I know, buddy.” He felt a hand stroking his hair and when he looked up, he saw Alice sitting next to Daniel, tears in her eyes but a smile on her face.

“You want to come home with us?” she asked. Daniel could only nod. He was still crying, and snot were everywhere. Nathan moved to stand up, and when Daniel still had his arms wrapped around his neck, he lifted Daniel as well. Daniel couldn’t remember the last time he had been held like that, his mom surely never had. She found it annoying when Daniel wanted to hug. Nathan carried him out of the room and he could hear Alice talking to the social worker.

“Where are his things?” … “What do you mean he doesn’t have any stuff? What the hell has he been wearing for the past couple of months?”

Before they had gone to the house, they had stopped at a mall to buy clothes for Daniel. They had let Daniel go through the store and pick out whichever clothes he wanted – as long as they’d fit, that was. He remembered he got all caught up in a plain pink t-shirt in the girl department. Alice had paid for it without batting an eye. Then they had drove home, and Daniel had resumed his spot under the coffee table to draw while Alice and Nathan had watched him from the kitchen counter.