DISCRETION IS ADVISED - THIS STORY CONTAINS SOME STRONG THEMES
Jebediah moved quietly through the library, his mind focused, though his demeanor was relaxed. The library in the school was a large one, and the bookshelves were tall, separating sections off from one another. Jebediah was alone in this part of the library now, though he could see through the gaps in the shelf people working on computers and sitting at the tables reading or flicking through text books.
Jebediah lowered his eyes, glancing to one of the lower shelves. He reached for a book, touching the top of the spine with his middle finger and tipping the book, pulling it from the shelf and opening it.
He stared down at it with eyes half-open, skimming over the pages. He glanced to his side as he saw a figure coming closer.
'Hey babe!'
'Will you keep your voice down?'Jebediah scowled in annoyance.
'Aww I'm sorry are you busy?'
Jebediah let out a sigh, glancing back down to his book.
'I'm never too distracted for you' Jebediah replied. 'But could you be a little quieter? We're in the library.'
'Oh yeah I only just noticed' Carl replied, hands on his hips as he glanced about him. 'We're alone' he added in a hushed voice, and Jebediah glanced up at him again.
Carl took a step towards Jebediah, reaching for him, caressing his face tenderly.
He did not ask permission as he leaned forwards, kissing Jebediah softly, quietly. Jebediah did not resist, but closed his eyes in contentment as he felt him.
Carl's eyes flickered open then, and the edges of his eyes crinkled mischievously. He took a step forwards, pushing Jebediah firmly but gently back against the bookshelf.
'No' Jebediah uttered.
'Why not?'
'We're in the goddam library' Jebediah whispered back. 'You can wait until after school.'
'Does that mean I can come over your place?' Carl asked teasingly, playing with a strand of Jebediah's golden hair, twirling it between his fingers.
'Sure' Jebediah said flatly. 'You know you're always welcome in my home.'
Carl stared at Jebediah, tilting his head again, kissing him for the second time.
Jebediah opened his mouth, feeling Carl's tongue slip inside of him. Jebediah let out a moan, kissing him back.
He pushed Carl back firmly then.
'Not here' Jebediah told him.
Carl let out a disappointed sigh, lowering his hands and stepping back.
'Why are you so cold sometimes?' Carl asked him.
'I'm not cold' Jebediah told him. 'I just.....we can't just do this out in public in front of people.'
Carl stared at Jebediah flatly, saying nothing.
Carl and Jebediah were both seventeen, and had met at this school. Jebediah had lived in this town his entire life, Carl on the other hand, had only moved into this town about a year ago. He had only been attending school for a few weeks, before he approached Jebediah for the first time. The first time they had spoken together, Carl admitted his feeling for Jebediah, who accepted him. They had been in a relationship ever since, and were happy. But they were discreet about their love, though everyone around them knew, it was an open secret.
'I really can't help wanting you Jay' Carl said to Jebediah, using the nickname he had given him. 'I just want to feel loved' he said, stepping back and sitting upon the desk behind him.
'I do love you' Jebediah said to him, 'you don't have to worry.'
Jebediah stepped up to him, kissing him on the forehead briefly. 'I want you to come over my house tonight, I want to spend some time alone with you.'
*
After school Jebediah left the grounds, walking at a gentle pace with his bag slung over his shoulder.
Just outside the grounds, a short distance away from the main gates, he saw her.
Jebediah made his way forwards, a grin upon his face, as he approached the girl.
'Hey' he said to her.
'Jebediah' she spoke in a mumble, a faint smile playing about her. 'I um.... I'm glad to see you.'
Jebediah put his bag down, turning to her with gentle eyes.
'How are you?'
'I'm OK I guess.'
Jebediah continued to watch her for a short time, before glancing away.
'Its such a nice day today' Jebediah spoke absentmindedly. 'Don't you think?'
'I don't like it' the girl commented. 'I prefer it when its darker, when its cloudy or rainy. I love the feeling of the rain upon my cheeks, and I love the night too. The moon in the sky is always so beautiful. I often wonder what makes it glow like it does.'
'You've never tried to find out?' Jebediah asked turning to her.
'No' she shook her head. 'Part of the fun is the mystery.'
'You always were a little different' Jebediah smiled warmly.
'You always say that.'
Jebediah continued to stare at her for a time.
Tamara was a girl that was different to the others that he knew, like him she was seventeen years old and went to the same school as him. The thing they both had in common, was that they were both alone most of the time. That is what had drawn Jebediah to her in the first place, because she was always alone, but their reasons as to why were very different. Jebediah chose to distance himself from most people, whereas Tamara was shunned by most people, because of the way she acted. Her father had kept her locked away for many years of her life, and she suffered horrible abuse in the past by his hand. She did not know how to socialize, and was afraid of people, afraid to be the center of attention, though she longed for company, she did not know how to go about it. But one thing that was different between the two, were their families. Jebediah had a very small family, grandparents that lived away, and he shared his home with only his mother, having no siblings and a father that had passed away. Tamara on the other hand, lived in a large home with her mother and step father and many siblings and her grandparents. Her cousins and aunties and uncles all lived close, so she was not as alone in her life as she first appeared to others. Jebediah envied her large family. They understood her, not like most outside her family. Tamara had a very hard start in life, her father had stolen her away from her mother and mistreated her for years, now Tamara struggled trusting anyone. But it was not just the way she behaved, but the circumstances surrounding her, and the way she looked too. Her preference for the empty places, where she liked to hang out, what times of the day she liked to wander. People would judge her for walking in the rain, and judged her for her long dark hair, saying she was a curse, because in her early life, people seemed to die around her. But these were just coincidences. Jebediah did not believe in superstition. He was very fond of Tamara, and it didn't take long for them to feel comfortable around each other, even in the silences.
'Where is your friend?' Tamara asked him.
'He's in his music class' Jebediah told her.
'Oh right' Tamara mumbled. 'He plays the saxophone doesn't he?'
'Yeah' Jebediah mumbled in agreement. 'His favorite is the trumpet, but he plays the sax too. He's good at both...most of the time he just annoys me.'
'Annoys you?' Tamra asked turning to him. 'You don't like it?'
'No he plays very well' Jebediah said to her, 'but sometimes he plays too much, and I know he does it deliberately to annoy me or try to get a reaction.'
'He probably just wants your attention' Tamara said. 'Maybe he feels ignored.'
Jebediah sighed, bowing his head.
'He's so clingy sometimes' Jebediah mumbled.
'You don't like it?'
Jebediah turned to her, staring at her silently.
'I'm just..... I worry for the future' he said.
'Don't we all' Tamara said turning away. 'Do you love him?'
'I do' Jebediah replied, 'I love Carl but...'
'Don't think about it' Tamara told him quickly, 'and don't dwell on it.'
'I try not to' Jebediah said to her.
'Oh there he is' Tamara spoke suddenly then, seeing Carl walking out of the school gates and glancing about, looking for Jebediah.
He spotted him then, making his way over to them.
'There are you' Carl said, stopping before them, speaking to Jebediah.
'Where were you?' Jebediah asked him.
'I was just visiting the music room' Carl said to him, patting the case at his side, inside of which was his favorite instrument, the trumpet.
'Oh cool' Jebediah said flatly.
'Well I'm going' Tamara said hurriedly then, slipping away. 'I'll see you Jebediah.'
'Yeah' Jebediah mumbled. 'See you tomorrow.'
Tamara turned away, walking with her head down and clutching her bag to her. She kept away from the middle of the walkway as she made her way off, instead clinging to the buildings.
They watched her go.
'I don't think she likes me' Carl voiced then.
'Its not like that' Jebediah told him flatly. 'She's just shy.'
'She talks to you.'
'I don't treat her like other people do' Jebediah said to him.
'Yes you're very accepting of people who are different' Carl said, sounding sour.
'Are you jealous?' Jebediah asked him.
'Maybe I am' Carl spoke flatly.
'You're jealous of Tamara?' Jebediah frowned at him in amusement.
'You always go to her' Carl told him sullenly.
'Well' Jebediah cocked his head at Carl playfully then, 'when we go back to my place we will have time alone together.'
'And your mother will stay downstairs?'
Jebediah chuckled lightly to himself. 'Only one thing on your mind.'
'Is it a bad thing that I want you?'
'Of course not' Jebediah said rising to his feet. 'I like it that you want me.'
Carl purred to himself then, touching his own chin as his eyes traveled down Jebediah's body and back up again.
'Are you eyeing me up in public?' Jebediah asked him.
'So what if I am?' Carl moaned. 'There's no one here now anyway. They've all gone home already. Speaking of which why are we still here? I want to be at home.'
'My home you mean.'
'You know I wish we could hold hands while we walk' Carl lamented. 'Other couples do that.'
'We're not like other couples' Jebediah told him flatly.
'Why do we have to keep what we have a secret?' Carl told him sadly.
'Because....' Jebediah let out a sigh, frowning at Carl. 'You know why Carl. We're....' he frowned again. 'We're not supposed to be having sex. We're still underage...'
'Only by a little bit' Carl complained. 'I mean.... I'm 18 in like a few months.'
'We should do something for your birthday' Jebediah said.
'I would love that' Carl said to him. 'I love you Jay.'
'I love you too' Jebediah smiled. 'You're really sweet.'
'So can we hold hands?'
'No?'
Carl looked so downhearted.
'Don't be sad' Jebediah said to him. 'We'll get home soon, and then....' he smiled then. 'I want to be alone with you.'
Carl smiled then.
'Lets hurry up and get home' Jebediah said. 'I want to feel you naked.'
Carl tensed then in excitement.
'Whose going to top this time?' Carl asked him as they made their way, walking slowly side by side.
'We'll see how things play out' Jebediah teased smiling at him and giving him a wink.
'I love you by the way Jay' Carl smiled.
'I love you too Carl.'
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