Tamara looked away again. 

'You are keeping this a secret because you care about him' she said flatly. 

'Yes I am' Jebediah said. 'But I sometimes worry if I am doing the right thing. This is a small town, and pretty much everyone knows everyone else, and I have lived here all my life. Everyone knows about it, everybody, except for him. I'm just lucky that no one talks about it.'

'I see why you feel bad' Tamara mumbled in reply. 

'I mean' Jebediah continued, 'I just.... feel so conflicted. I feel like in a way....that I am betraying him. But at the same time I am afraid to tell him because he would most likely treat me differently. And he says he loves me, so he cares for me....and I don't want him to worry for me in that way.'

'I understand' Tamara said quietly.

'The thing is' Jebediah went on, 'if I do ever tell him, I have to be absolutely sure that that is what I want to do. I cannot UN-tell him.'

'That's not a word.'

'Listen. I'm just afraid to tell him because I can't make him forget. What if he takes it badly?'

Tamara shrugged. 'I'm not really good at this sort of thing. I don't really um....know how to deal with problems.'

'Anyway' Jebediah said bowing his head. 'At least I feel glad that I can share it with someone other than my mother.'

'Do you really not speak to anyone else?'

Jebediah shook his head. 

'I have a tiny family. Its basically just me and my mother. She, and Carl are the only ones I talk to in my life now, besides you.'

'Don't you get lonely?'

'Yes' Jebediah laughed sadly. 'But things are better this way.'

'Do you really think that?' 

'Yes' he said again. 'I um..... I'm sort of afraid to get close to people. But Carl is different, that sort of happened a little by accident. I.... don't regret meeting him, but I'm worried about what I should do.'

'You don't know for sure what will happen in the future' Tamara said to him. 'It may be that nothing happens.'

'And wouldn't that be a great thing?' Jebediah laughed. 

Tamara looked away then. 

'It plagues me a lot of the time' Jebediah uttered, eyes growing distant now. 'I am afraid, though I try not to think about.'

'Worrying won't change anything.'

'I know' Jebediah said back to Tamara. 'I don't want to think about it. I wish I could put all my fears in a box and just throw the box away.'

Tamara stared at him. 

'When did you first meet Carl?'

'About....a year ago? Nearly.'

'How did you first meet?'