Hi! My name is Felicia Cambridge. I am 12 years old. Actually, I lost my parents since I was seven years old. My dad died of a crashed building during his work. While my mom was shot by a man wearing a beanie while she was counting money from a machine. I can’t remember what that machine’s called. It’s the type where you get money from. You give your card to the machine, and the machine will eat it up, and then, it pops out money. Yea, whatever that’s called.

Now, I’m all alone and all I have with me is my pet dog Sterling. He is a Golden retriever. The first time I had him was when it was my tenth birthday. Some lady whom was a friend of my mom told me that Sterling is a birthday gift from mom but since that day, she wasn’t able to give Sterling personally and directly. But, I’m already happy that mommy thought of giving me something like Sterling.

I really love Sterling.

Everytime I’m sad, Sterling comes to me. Everytime I’m angry, Sterling comes and comforts me. When I cry, Sterling comes and makes me feel happy. Also, he obeys all of my commands. Even if his food is already there in front of him, he won’t eat unless I told him to. He also doesn’t do the common little things he should do if I don’t tell him to do so. He likes following me everywhere as well. Where ever I go, I know that he’s just there with me.

Now, I live at the Laketown St. Paul’s orphanage. It’s a place where most kids that doesn’t have parents stay. There are ladies with black and white clothes that covers them from head to toe except their faces. They’re called nuns. But they prefer us kids to call them as sisters.

But…they’re not really nice. When I just sat at a place that isn’t my chair, they get mad. When I speak or ask a question, they also get mad. When I blink, they get mad at me too. When I can’t sleep at night cause of a nightmare, they get mad. They just get mad at me just being myself. Worst part is even when I play with Sterling.

The first day when I was still new, they say he’s a beast. That he should stay outside, or at the garbage or even at the farm’s barn with the cows, and pigs, and horses, and ducks.

But I love Sterling. I just go to him in secret. And he’s just so happy to see me. One night, I was sleeping with the other kids. One boy with glasses talked to me.

“Do you like it here?” he asked.

I answered, “Not at all. They won’t let me play with my dog.”

“You have a dog?” he asked.

“Yes, his name is Sterling and he’s a jolly, friendly, golden dog. The sisters said he would stay at the barn cause he’s a beast as they say.” I replied.

“I know that dog! Sterling is your dog?” he exclaimed.

“Yes. My mom gave him to me when she was getting money from a machine. Until she got robbed and shot many times.” I said.

“I’m sorry that your mom died.” He said.

“It’s not your fault, it’s okay.” I said.

He smiled and laughed, and said, “I like Sterling. He’s really nice. I sometimes play with him.”

“You do?”

“Yes. My name’s Matthew. Nice to meet you.” He said.

“My name’s Felicia. Nice to meet you, too.” I replied.

He became my very good friend. We keep visiting Sterling at times when we feel like it. I can see that sterling is very happy to see us play with him.

We love Sterling so very much.

Until…

One time we visited Sterling, we saw him lay on the ground like a dead corpse. We helped him stand up but, as he tried walking towards me, he vomited blood…

Sterling is still a young one. I have no idea what happened to him. Just no clue. He just happen to be like this.

But since Sterling is my friend, and I love him, I won’t let him stay this way forever. I don’t want him to feel this pain for the rest of his life.

So, together with Matthew and I, we continue to take care of him until he gets better.

We untiringly and unceasingly continue to feed him good food, give him our blankets and bed sheets, placed something warmer for him, we continue to love him because we want him to feel better.

I just have a feeling that all our efforts will make him happy.

But… I also had a hint that all of these will just go to waste. I knew it when I stare longingly to his eyes, I know that he doesn’t want me to worry anymore; and that, he’s about to say his good bye.

There was a saying that animals just live. They will not have feelings for something or someone the same way a person does. But, I don’t believe that.

I believe that animals have feelings and emotions but they just can’t express in a way people would understand. They are just like foreigner who say a thousand I love you to someone they love which is from a different race.

And he would even give a token of love from which in their country means you love them, but you just don’t get it cause you were expecting a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, instead you get a three night banquet at the longest dinner table filled with the most delicious food you could ever imagine.

Yet it will stay a one sided love.

The next days, we stayed with Sterling. After a little moment, a little moment, a little moment, a little nun came to us. As I noticed the nun, I shook Matthew back and forth to wake him up and we will run back to our beds and go to sleep or just go to our rooms and clean the hallways.

“Ssh…you’ll wake them up.” She said gently.

We paused for a while in shock.

“Is it alright if I take a look at him? He looks a bit pale today…” she asked.

“What are you going to do to him?” Matthew asked.

“Are you taking him away from me?” I asked

“It’s alright… I’ll just have to check something…” she said, holding a stethoscope.

“Why? What’s that for?” Matthew asked in fear and doubt.

I clinged to Sterling and said, “Please, he’s all I have don’t take from me..Please..”

“It’s alright…I understand how you feel. When I was your age, I had a pet cat named Wendy. She was a beautiful exotic cat that my grandmother gave me. Until, my grandmother died of lung cancer and cerebral palsy. Wendy was just a cat, but I could see my grandmother in her. Them, she too died. I just know how you feel, so it’s alright. I became a veterinarian too; and I met someone who’ll love me for who I am. And that lovely man died too. I joined the convent and became a Franciscan nun. In this convent; in this orphanage too, I am known as the Dr. Valerie Porzingeeze OP” she said.

“You’re a doctor before?” Matthew asked

“Indeed, I am” she replied with a smile

“Felicia, it’s okay! She wants to help Sterling!” Matthew exclaimed.

I slowly moved away from Sterling and let her do her thing.

“Is he going to be okay, Sister Valerie?” I asked.

She left out a disappointing sigh and said, “I’m afraid not….It seems that his heart is beating a bit slow. I’m sorry but there’s nothing I could do about this.”

I jumped at the nun’s arms unknowingly and cried on her shoulders upon hearing that this has befallen upon my beloved Sterling.

It just truly is very agonizing. My whole world crumbled into pieces like a mirror that shattered into uncountable broken pieces of glass shards.

I planned on spending more time with Sterling than I could ever have done.

I just wanted to see him smile and just be the happy Sterling that he always is. Even though he can’t be that way right now because of how he’s feeling right now, but I know that deep inside him when I look into his eyes, he is fighting his strongest and most of intense fight that he has ever have. I know that he just wants to stay here forever. I will take good care of him anyways; I will love him anyways because he’s my Sterling, he’s my only true friend that has been there for me when I need him…

to be continued...