“Gimme that beer, I need a drink. And explain yourself, dude! What do you mean ‘it’s the drum’? How can a drum set summon a fucking lion in my basement?”
“Calm down mate, the lion’s not real. And did you notice? It didn’t make a sound, even if its mouth was wide open for a monstrous roar. It’s only visual hallucination that we’re getting, nothing is summoned or anything.”
“But dude, how do you explain it? Don’t tell me no bullshit like ‘the drum’s magical’ I ain’t buying it…”
“Hold on, I didn’t say that… But it could be an explanation, couldn’t it?”
“Do you have the number of the guy that sold it to the pawn shop? Maybe he’ll know what’s going on here, don’t you think? Outch! Don’t hit me with your guitar, idiot! I’m just suggesting ideas to understand what’s going on!”
“This idea is too good to be yours, stupid bass player. Drum boy, call the guy.”
***********************************
“Guys, I managed to get the seller of the drum set on the phone. And… Errr… You’re not gonna like it… He said his grandma was a witch or somethin’, and that she threw a hex on the drums. Anyone playin’ it, or those that play with him, will have visual hallucinations. Apparently, someone tried to steal it from her because she was a woman, and she hexed it to punish the thief. She retrieved the set, but didn’t lift the curse because she liked what she saw, and when she died, she passed it on to her grandson with the hope that he’ll follow in her steps and become a great drummer.”
“... I call bullshit…”
“... I’d’ve said ‘same’, but mate, we all saw that lion there. I mean, even if it was drugs, we wouldn’t have seen the same thing, right? So it must be magic of some kind…”
“Don’t tell me you believe in witches and curses and all that shit, dude! I mean c’mon, these things don’t exist in the real world!”
“Well apparently they do. And your buddy right there just bought an enchanted drum set. And man, don’t tell me that isn’t awesome! Enchanted drums! Cursed by a powerful witch! And mate, she even did it for a fucking cause! We have to write a song about it!”
“I would’ve hit you on the head again, but I’m too lazy… It’s fucking genius! All right boys, brainstorming time! We gotta come up with at least one good song, and hell, maybe we can even write a whole fucking album on this!”
****************************************
A desperate woman
Fighting for her rights
A heartless bastard
Picking up a fiiiiight
For the rock and the roll
For a drummer’s light
For a woman to roll
To the end of the niiiiight
Witch drummer!
What will you do!
Witch drummer!
Use all that voodoo!
He tried to steal away
Her beloved drum set
She said “no fucking way!
I ain’t gonna let
A crazy fucker
Steal my pride and my joooooy!”
So she hexed away
For the rock and the roooooooll
Witch drummer!
What will you do!
Witch drummer!
Use all that voodoo!
Deep in the night
She mumbled and danced
With a yellow light
With a warrior stance
She unleashed her power
On her pride and jooooy
With a mighty power
She made the drums roooooooooll
Witch drummer!
What will you do!
Witch drummer!
Use all that voodoo!
Oh yeah witch drummer!
Show him your womanly power!
Oooooh witch drummer!
Roll these drums forever!
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