“Gimme that beer, I need a drink. And explain yourself, dude! What do you mean ‘it’s the drum’? How can a drum set summon a fucking lion in my basement?”

“Calm down mate, the lion’s not real. And did you notice? It didn’t make a sound, even if its mouth was wide open for a monstrous roar. It’s only visual hallucination that we’re getting, nothing is summoned or anything.”

“But dude, how do you explain it? Don’t tell me no bullshit like ‘the drum’s magical’ I ain’t buying it…”

“Hold on, I didn’t say that… But it could be an explanation, couldn’t it?”

“Do you have the number of the guy that sold it to the pawn shop? Maybe he’ll know what’s going on here, don’t you think? Outch! Don’t hit me with your guitar, idiot! I’m just suggesting ideas to understand what’s going on!”

“This idea is too good to be yours, stupid bass player. Drum boy, call the guy.”

***********************************

“Guys, I managed to get the seller of the drum set on the phone. And… Errr… You’re not gonna like it… He said his grandma was a witch or somethin’, and that she threw a hex on the drums. Anyone playin’ it, or those that play with him, will have visual hallucinations. Apparently, someone tried to steal it from her because she was a woman, and she hexed it to punish the thief. She retrieved the set, but didn’t lift the curse because she liked what she saw, and when she died, she passed it on to her grandson with the hope that he’ll follow in her steps and become a great drummer.”

“... I call bullshit…”

“... I’d’ve said ‘same’, but mate, we all saw that lion there. I mean, even if it was drugs, we wouldn’t have seen the same thing, right? So it must be magic of some kind…”

“Don’t tell me you believe in witches and curses and all that shit, dude! I mean c’mon, these things don’t exist in the real world!”

“Well apparently they do. And your buddy right there just bought an enchanted drum set. And man, don’t tell me that isn’t awesome! Enchanted drums! Cursed by a powerful witch! And mate, she even did it for a fucking cause! We have to write a song about it!”

“I would’ve hit you on the head again, but I’m too lazy… It’s fucking genius! All right boys, brainstorming time! We gotta come up with at least one good song, and hell, maybe we can even write a whole fucking album on this!”

****************************************

A desperate woman

Fighting for her rights

A heartless bastard

Picking up a fiiiiight

For the rock and the roll

For a drummer’s light

For a woman to roll

To the end of the niiiiight

Witch drummer!

What will you do!

Witch drummer!

Use all that voodoo!

He tried to steal away

Her beloved drum set

She said “no fucking way!

I ain’t gonna let

A crazy fucker

Steal my pride and my joooooy!”

So she hexed away

For the rock and the roooooooll

Witch drummer!

What will you do!

Witch drummer!

Use all that voodoo!

Deep in the night

She mumbled and danced

With a yellow light

With a warrior stance

She unleashed her power

On her pride and jooooy

With a mighty power

She made the drums roooooooooll

Witch drummer!

What will you do!

Witch drummer!

Use all that voodoo!

Oh yeah witch drummer!

Show him your womanly power!

Oooooh witch drummer!

Roll these drums forever!