Saturday, August 26th

I checked in to my dorm today. Guess I’m officially a college student now. I’m looking forward to the next four years. The people around town are kinda weird though. When my parents and I asked for directions in town, everyone we spoke to walked away the second we told them where we were trying to go. We found it eventually, but we were a little late.

My RA seems friendly, but when she checked me in, she gave me an iron ring and a bunch of salt packets. I’m not sure why, but she said to keep them on me. She only called me by my ID number, and refused to call me anything else. (When we had our hall meeting that night, that’s how she introduced me. Everyone else, too. Maybe it’s a tradition here? Like a hazing kind of thing?)

When I moved in, I found a bunch of dried plants tucked under the mattress and behind the desk. Mom thinks it’s basil, but she isn’t sure why it would be there. There was also salt on all the windowsills, and weird doodles scratched in the walls. Dad says they looked satanic, but I don’t think so. They were different. I might look them up later, when I check out the library.

The weirdest part of campus is probably the wind, though. It’s so loud. And it sounds so strange. Like voices. I think I’m just tired. My roommate says she doesn’t hear anything, though how could she with her music playing loud enough I can hear it through her headphones from my side of the room?

I think I’m going to try to look up those weird scratches tomorrow, and get a good look at the library. I’m guessing I’ll be spending a lot of time there.

Sunday, August 27th

I went to the library this morning, It wasn’t too hard to find, right in the center of campus. It was strange, though. I went into one of the third floor study rooms, just to look, and someone came in, told me not to stay in there. When I asked why, she just said it’s too easy to lose time in there. I guess she meant lose track of time? She seemed nervous. I left, but I still don’t see what the big deal is.

I found some books on runes and sigils. I was surprised how many books they had on the subject. Maybe there was a special lecture on it one semester?

Anyway, the one on my wall is apparently for protection. I guess it’s not the worst thing to have scratched above your bed. But the other books I looked at were interesting too. According to one of them, the basil I found is also for protection. Whoever had my room last must have been pretty concerned. What were they so afraid of?

Monday, August 28th

First day of classes went well enough. There’s this guy in my Intro to Lit class who seems nice, if a little too friendly. Probably just really wants to make friends. His name is Nori, as in seaweed. His hair is kinda green too, but it looks cool. It must be a nickname. (A lot of people seem to go by nicknames.)

I already have so much homework, I can’t believe it. And I still haven’t bought my textbooks. I barely have time to write this, let alone spell out my entire day. More later, I guess.

There are a lot of birds on this campus. They’re everywhere. Their eyes seem to follow you. They are.

Tuesday, August 29th

There’s a really nice girl in my orchestra class. I met her last night, and we went to dinner together after we got out. Her name is Hestia. She seems sweet. She kept asking me questions about how move in went, and what I thought of my classes. She kept calling me Fish, though. When I tried to tell her my actual name, she insisted she would only call me Fish, and that I should keep my name to myself. I have no idea what that means, but she said everyone on campus goes by a nickname, and I should start thinking of a better one if I don’t like Fish.

Wednesday, August 30th

Nori is starting to creep me out. I know it’s only been two days, but he’s so clingy. He just kinda appears out of nowhere, and talks to me non-stop. Every time he does, anyone else I’m talking to will find an excuse to leave. I don’t think he’s very popular.

I asked Hestia about him, and she said to avoid him at all costs. Said he wasn’t human. She’s probably exaggerating, but I’ll keep my distance. She seems to be trying to look out for me. She said he has a thing for freshman. She also said not to let him give me anything. I guess he’s got an STD or something?

Monday, September 4th

Hestia and I have been hanging out every night this past week! We always get dinner together, and sometimes lunch if we can find the time. Well, if I can find the time. She seems to spend a lot of time at the commons. I caught her stealing a salt shaker from it the other day, but honestly I’ve seen weirder, and it’s only been a week. (Yesterday, I saw someone walk out with a plate full of at least ten bananas, only to dump them into someone’s backpack as they passed each other.)

Anyway, Hestia’s great, but she’s a little… off. She keeps talking a lot about magic, like she actually believes in it. And especially fairies. Or the “fae” as she keeps calling them. She sounds kinda paranoid. I laughed it off at first, but she made it very clear that she was serious. I don’t really know what to think. She seems really nice, and not crazy, but fairies aren’t real. Right?

Wednesday, September 6th

Hestia swears she’s going to prove that the “fae” are real. I still don’t believe her, but she’s my only friend on campus. So we’re going to sneak onto the roof of the science building tonight, ad she’s going to try and make me believe. I’m just going because I think it sounds cool. I don’t think I’m actually going to see anything.

Hestia keeps talking about “the sight.” She says you have to have it to see the fae. It’s all she’s talking about. She says the quickest way is to look through a mood ring. I still think she’s crazy, but I’ll humor her.

She was right.

Thursday, September 7th

That was… a lot. I don’t know if I could handle seeing so much again. The forest was so bright, and there were so many… fae. I don’t know what else to call them. They were so strange. I can hardly believe it. There were two on the lawn by the science building that… I don’t really want to write it down. It was terrifying. One of them looked like a woman, but with a wolf head. Her mouth (snout? Muzzle? whatever) was covered in blood. Hestia called her Rhea, said to stay away at all costs. Her friend (?) had a normal head, but his arms were too long. Almost to his feet. They had… something. I’m not sure what it was. But Rhea kept eating it. And it screamed.

I don’t know how I can keep going to school here knowing what’s out there. I’m afraid. Hestia says if I’m careful, and smart, I’ll be alright, but I don’t know what that means. Careful how? Smart about what?

She said having the sight will make me a target, but how am I supposed to survive if I can’t see what I’m trying to avoid? How will I know who I can trust and who wants to kill me? She says it’s safer not to, but now that I know what’s out there how can I not? I have to ask how to see again. I have to see it again. I won’t be able to feel safe if I don’t.

Hestia says that mood rings aren’t the best choice for extended use of the sight. There are other ways, though. Making a deal would be the most permanent, but she’s said multiple times not to do that. The second best option seemed to be to stain myself with silver nitrate. Apparently, that should give it to me until the mark fades. Hestia knows a chem major I can pay to mark me, and it should last a couple weeks. I’m just not sure…

Friday, September 8th

The guy is coming by later tonight to give me the mark. I’m nervous, but I have to see it again. I have to know what’s out there. I barely slept last night thinking of it, even though I put salt lines across my door and my window.

I’ve been hearing birds scream all day. So loud. They’re everywhere. Hestia says they’re crows, and not to look them in the eye. But I saw one girl with a crow on her shoulder. It was like it was… talking to her. They can’t be all bad, right?

The chem guy left like an hour ago. The mark is just starting to show up. He just marked an x across the back of my hand. He said once it’s darkened, I’ll be able to See. I think it’s time to test it out. The birds are usually out in full force around now, so I guess everything else will be too.

Those aren’t birds.

Saturday, September 9th

They’re everywhere. I’m trying not to look any of them in the eyes, but some of them have so many it’s kind of hard not to. And not all of them are their eyes.

The only place I haven’t seen any is in the dining hall. It seems to be the only place on campus they won’t go. The library was full of them. The fountain on the east side of campus seems to be where the not-birds gather. Hestia keeps telling me I need to slow down, that if I keep looking, I’m going to draw too much attention to myself. She’s right. The chem major offered to mark me again when this one fades, but I’ve already made up my mind not to anymore. I’m done after this time. There’s too much out there, and I can’t live my life seeing it all the time. I don’t think human minds were meant to see this much, to know this much. I can’t keep this up. I’ll just protect myself, and do everything I can to avoid their attention. And them.

Monday, September 11th

I’ve gotten good at pretending I don’t see Them. No matter how many times I see an extra eye in someone’s tongue, or a hole through someone’s chest that doesn’t bleed, or a creature the color of a starless night, with glowing white eyes and wicked sharp claws, I don’t look, don’t let Them know that I know. I have to keep this secret, keep myself safe. I just have to avoid Them at all costs, and maybe I’ll survive.

Tuesday, September 12th

There’s a talent show on Friday. I might participate, just for a sense of normalcy. I haven’t played since coming to campus, and I’m starting to realize how much I miss it. I’ve just been so busy, and distracted by everything that’s been happening. I already know a song I could play, and the show is a campus tradition. It’ll be fun, I’m sure, and another girl on my hall is talking about participating. She’s going to sing!

Friday, September 15th

I’ve been practicing all week, and I think it’s the only thing that’s kept me sane, with everything going on. It’s made it easier to avoid Them. I’m the last person to perform, though, so I’m going to be waiting a while before I get to go on stage. It’s been so long, I’m a little nervous. I’ve been so distracted, I forgot my iron ring when I left, even though I’ve been wearing it everywhere since Hestia told me the truth. As soon as the show ends, I’ll hurry back to my dorm to get it.

Friday, September 22nd

That was a nightmare. I thought it would never end. I’m still not entirely sure it did. I was Taken, during the talent show. Mid-song, I heard something, not quite scream, not quite laugh, but something in between, and something took hold of me, pulled me off the stage, and into a new world. Into Elsewhere.

Everything was so bright, like a dream. The colors were constantly changing, trees going from red to yellow to green to purple, flowers doing the same. Nothing was right, and nothing stayed the way it had been only moments before. Myself included.

They took the musicians and the artists, I’m told. The ones who pleased Them, who performed well enough that They decided They had to have us. They took us home with them, to Their twisted, terrifying world, and forced us to perform. One girl (I think she goes by Dove) danced until her feet bled, and kept going, unaware of the pain until the RAs came and saved us. The RAs are the only reason we’re still alive, I think. (Dove will probably never dance again, either out of fear or ruined feet.)

They made me play for them, made me want to. They made me think I enjoyed it. I couldn’t stop, even if I had wanted to. And I didn’t. I wanted to play for Them, to make Them happy. I played a song I didn’t know, and can’t quite remember. But I’ll never play it again. It’s too dangerous, too much.

It’s hard to think about. It’s like looking through a foggy mirror. I can’t quite remember it, I think. It was so beautiful, but… I never want to go back. I shouldn’t have even made it out alive. They wanted to kill me, wanted me to play until I died. I’m just lucky my RA found me as quickly as she did. I just want to be rid of the sight, to be free of having to know the truth, to see everything for what it really is. I can’t handle this anymore, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.