Dear Whoever Cares,
May 19, 2018
1:16 AM
I'm going to take this time to explain my username: Stupid Cupid. Stupid is easy, I'm generally not a smart person. I know the most random things but am lost on common sense and obvious answers. I tend to overthink things so my mind spirals and I don't see the obvious answer right in front of me. On to the cupid part. I dated a few people in the span of 4 years. Basically, one person a year but the relationship did not last that long.
Let me explain better. I get crushes very easily and, while I don't like to admit it, I get crushes on people I generally can't date. The girl I like now I feel as if I don't have a chance with. She likes this other guy that will end up liking her and I will just sit in the background and watch everything unfold.
I dated a girl this year. Let's call her Haylie. Now Haylie and I had a few classes together and knew each other since elementary school, but we had only recently started talking as much as we did. She was a girl who did sports and got straight A's like every other girl at school. I did like her so I eventually told her and she felt the same. So a few days later I ask her out. We plan on seeing a movie.
Skip forward a bit and now we're a month into our relationship and something is off. I don't know how I 'sensed' it but there was something that nagged at the back of my head that she was hiding something. I had previous experience with those types of feelings before so I asked her about it. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and ended our relationship.
Skip forward to now and I still walk and talk with her but there's always this air of awkwardness, the elephant in the room is not being addressed and I'm in no hurry to address it. It's not the same as our casual conversations before and I'm starting to think she just left because she was bored. Im afraid to ask as the breakup was a little while ago and its weird to bring it up now.
I like doing this, it helps me think clearly. I doubt anyone is going to actually read this but knowing that its out there and that people CAN read it. It's comforting.
Sincerely,
S.C.
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