strained with the world, Chen has given up on all of human expectation.

his existence remained a mystery to all those around him, a secret closely guarded by his own body and actions. he was careful with his tongue but every so often, there will let slip from his tongue a phrase or sound that reveals a little more about him. its what makes him so intriguing.

sometimes he just starts picking his nose in public. He faces the other way and its obvious what hes doing but he has no shame at all. its so liberating just to watch.

I am very glad I got to know Chen as a person who is in the close circle of people I'm forced to be with all the time, otherwise he would have simply remained pleasantly untouched, never discovered, like many people in our lives.

it is why I enjoy the 'forced to be together' part. it is an excuse to be cooperative and collaborate with others without any awkwardness of 'why do u want to do this with me.. do u like me or something?' you don't have to worry about insecurity or lack of enthusiasm on the other party's side because we are forced together and thus we must work... together.

I love that its why as kids in school we actually had friends

the world sits just fine on ts foundations whether I fall in love or not so I will give this a try. I've never been able to say this before.. I don't think its very very good that I'm suddenly absorbed in him but I will admit this little thing.. I like him more than I did when I first knew him. he is, to me, a slowly unraveling present

I pull gently on the ribbon at the top and remember when he thought i was a little kid.... we were doing something together. i was new so a senior had to accompany me for most things. I was terrified of his presence and I knew he was two years older than me but he must have thought I was very young, because after we were done he patted my head goodbye and made a dumb joke about my hat. and I never wore that hat again

after that he must have asked someone or heard, because he never touched me after that for a very long time, which I was sad about. its not nice to have someone suddenly change their personal affections toward you

but that's why I wish for Chen t be comfortable with me now. and this.. his sitting a little closer to me.. it means so much.

it has been two years since I met Chen and his birthday is soon.. somewhere in June, though I don't know the exact date. I heard he's going home to family to be alone.

happy birthday in advance Chen I adore your accountability