You know what haunts me the most?

It’s that I feel like I have wasted my 19 years of life, not fully putting in the energy to a skill that I could show the world I have practiced on. Some of the times, I blame my upbringing even when I know it’s not going to help to look at the past and dwell on it. I was very eager to try new things. I didn’t shy away on being out there as a kid, I would create little newspaper tails to imitate the mermaids I watched on a TV show. I just think it’s such a shame that because of family circumstances, I was forced to stay at home instead of taking a class or something out there and learn things. I know it might be the opposite for you guys, when your parents force you to take a class as a kid that you didn’t want and that’s okay.

One thing that I’m grateful for about my upbringing is that it had helped me form a view of myself that is less dependent on what my peers thought was cool. It had forced me to close myself off more and more over time as the environment around me changed to a point that I had nowhere else to go but up. With that, a momentum was created for me and woke me up from being the person that let everything happen to her. I used to hate the feeling of growing up because I didn’t want to be responsible for my actions. I didn’t want to have to choose about the steps to take in life, that was too scary. But when I woke up, I realized how much power that gives me to become the controller of my own life.

It all started from my past self who was unable to even look at someone in the eye or call out their name, much more talk to anyone about anything for that matter, to the me right now who tries to fully utilize the momentum I had created in overcoming my insecurities and extreme shyness borderlining social anxiety disorder to being a charismatic public speaker and creating something huge in life that people would be positively influenced by.

In achieving something you have desired to achieve, have you felt that momentum to do something even bigger than that? Did you let the momentum die out or did you take little steps forward everyday to create a snowball effect of having the confidence in yourself for achieving small goals you have set for yourself?

I think it’s important to build and maintain your momentum because it is what makes you believe in yourself whenever you set out a goal for yourself. And I think it’s more important to regularly set out a goal for yourself, fail at achieving it, then try again than giving up just because you ‘failed’. You won’t achieve 100% of your goals at the beginning and that’s okay because that’s why you need to practice it more and build momentum. So you can understand which goals will be achievable for you after a certain time and plan accordingly.

What do you guys think? Write a comment down below to create a conversation with me or anyone else reading it! If you’re not feeling it, that’s also fine!